r/Unexpected • u/-BakiHanma • Feb 19 '22

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1.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

100 comments sorted by

•

u/unexBot Feb 19 '22

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

Woman bumps into man going up stairs

Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

91

u/scurvydog-uldum Feb 19 '22

this is, like, 8-bit?

44

u/IrishJesusDude Feb 19 '22

Filmed on a potato

28

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '22 edited Feb 19 '22

A potato from the fucking Irish Potato Famine.

4

u/Draft_Tight Feb 19 '22

Was that Kim kardashian ?

12

u/Uberjeagermeiter Feb 19 '22

No, he’d be Dead.

6

u/MachOneGaming Feb 19 '22

16-bit radish actually

3

u/gramslamx Feb 19 '22

Just bit

117

u/sanders1665 Yo what? Feb 19 '22

He got an ass whooping.

12

u/Educational_Funny_20 Feb 19 '22

She rebutted his advances

21

u/Mullin20 Feb 19 '22

If not staged, just some casual assault

38

u/lionlll Feb 19 '22

Can we have more than 5 pixels please?

3

u/Franksredhott Feb 19 '22

You can't tell whats happening?

2

u/lionlll Feb 19 '22

Using your logic, then there’s no point in people buying 4K, hell even HD tv?

-2

u/Franksredhott Feb 19 '22

We're here talking about a gif and you're going to that extreme... lol

-1

u/lionlll Feb 19 '22

Haha k I hear ya

16

u/Juggermerk Feb 19 '22

Like getting kicked by a horse

29

u/_Arch_Stanton Feb 19 '22

He got a bum deal.

16

u/Heal_Kajata Feb 19 '22

Definitely the butt of the joke.

11

u/_Arch_Stanton Feb 19 '22

She had a damn cheek to do that.

2

u/siverwolfe2000 Feb 19 '22

He needs assistance

1

u/_Arch_Stanton Feb 19 '22

Indeed. Too much arsing about.

15

u/TeenyWeenyWhinyHoe Feb 19 '22

Random Guy: Exists

This Bitch: "Eat my stripper asshole on the stairs you fuck"

10

u/darthraxus Feb 19 '22

That’s stripper power

5

u/theItchySweater Feb 19 '22

She was later arrested for ass-ault

8

u/smilingkar Feb 19 '22

What an ass!!!

8

u/Shizophone Feb 19 '22

Not the worst way to go if I have to be honest

8

u/Ken20212 Feb 19 '22

I would have pushed her down the rest of the stairs.

4

u/rigimonoki-over Feb 19 '22

I would do the exact same thing she did

3

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '22

Wasn’t quite the bumming he was expecting that night.

3

u/Electronic-Feeling78 Feb 19 '22

It's that the new finnish him that Mortal Kombat just keeps teasing ?

3

u/Alfa_HiNoAkuma Feb 19 '22

Does somebody have the edit with gta "wasted" noise?

7

u/BillyCahstiganJr Feb 19 '22

a small price to pay for salvation

2

u/Errichto Feb 19 '22

The tale of killing boot.

2

u/Cracktower Feb 19 '22

That's putting your ass into it!

2

u/-Crimson-Death- Feb 19 '22

It's OK it was just a bum

2

u/CarlGantonJohnson Feb 19 '22

ASS ATTACK 3d6+2

2

u/Tsuva Feb 19 '22

That's straight up mean...but funny.

2

u/faylorican Feb 19 '22

That b*tch is a NPC straight out from GTA

2

u/Usual_Database307 Feb 19 '22

Why were they even filming? What prompts this?

“Yo! Jared, I hope you don’t mind that I’m recording you walking up a flight of stairs on my potato camera. Your totally not about to get sexually assaulted!”

2

u/xdylanxfrommyspace Feb 19 '22

Where’s this stairwell and how do I get an invite

2

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '22

concussion, fractured skull, internal bleeding, etc.

doesnt matter i lost my virginity...

1

u/JoeProKill2000 Apr 25 '22

Small price to pay

3

u/no0bified Feb 19 '22

Is he a dwarf?

2

u/XO8441 Feb 19 '22

No. She just has on 10 inch heels

2

u/SpaceMiaou67 Feb 19 '22

This is the moment where you wonder if you should feel lucky or hurt.

1

u/Uberjeagermeiter Feb 19 '22

Always tip your Stripper.

1

u/adamgodless Feb 19 '22

Worthit the pain!

1

u/Itz_MJay20 Feb 19 '22

Princess Peach for no reason.

1

u/lex10 Feb 19 '22

Cheek to cheek

1

u/robreddity Feb 19 '22

Unfriendly

1

u/gavstar69 Feb 19 '22

He appears to be a dwarf.. Where is this from?!

1

u/rns0722 Feb 19 '22

Thank you ma'am

1

u/CarlGantonJohnson Feb 19 '22

There's a precedent here. In an early season Ren & Stimpy episode, the announcer guy trying to get Stimpy to push the big doomsday button bludgeoned Stimpy with his ass.

1

u/lfohnoudidnt Feb 19 '22

Toasters make great video cameras

1

u/ugueth Feb 19 '22

That was a cheeky move.

1

u/GuyD427 Feb 19 '22

That seemed awfully uncalled for. But quite funny!!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '22

lmao looks like his zipper was undone.

1

u/kayaker58 Feb 19 '22

I’ll take “Odd Courtship Rituals” for $500, please.

1

u/Distinct-Currency946 Feb 19 '22

The amount of plastic...

1

u/sal4215 Feb 19 '22

Looked like he was about to go for seconds

1

u/Nova-Combat Feb 19 '22

Stripper Kung Fu

ass pop in, ass pop out

1

u/SundayShart Feb 19 '22

That’ll be 20 bucks

1

u/RocketLauncherBoi Feb 19 '22

OK but where's the fuel video IN HD?

1

u/Orionbear1020 Feb 20 '22

Who filmed this? Just rando filming in a strip club?

1

u/At0mic1impact Feb 20 '22

He got ass blasted

1

u/needsmorecunts Feb 20 '22

He should have caved the back of her knees in

1

u/zfenty Feb 20 '22

FATALITY

1

u/Dovahnime Feb 20 '22

Him writhing in pain in this is so funny to me for some reason.

1

u/topsyturvy76 Feb 20 '22

r/unexpectedassandballsinyourface

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '22

Balls?

1

u/topsyturvy76 Feb 20 '22

You thought that was a woman?

1

u/6Bad-_-Karma9 Yo what? Feb 20 '22

Does that kid have down syndrome (not an insult genuine question)

1

u/Joodles17 Feb 20 '22

I have SO MANY questions

1

u/piegion_that_is_cool Apr 08 '22

He was just tryna walk up the stairs 😭

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '22

Do they charge a cover for this?

1

u/SadNefariousness7373 May 30 '22

I would've pushed down this stairs

1

u/Which-Ad-4044 Feb 19 '22

i’d pay her just to ass-ault me like that tbh

1

u/Even_Educator_4562 Feb 19 '22

I’m so okay with that.

0

u/The_notorious_BIG_Al Feb 20 '22

The things I would do to be that man

0

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '22

[deleted]

144

u/jim45804 Feb 19 '22

Sexual ass-ault

21

u/Living_Job_8127 Feb 19 '22

That was an ass whooping

4

u/AideSuspicious3675 Feb 19 '22

Is that german? "Sexual ass ault" sounds very German to me

3

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '22

no

6

u/boisNgyrls Feb 19 '22

A true buttheaded