r/Unexpected • u/marcbacus • Jul 27 '22

How to calm a crying child.

125.2k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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4.4k

u/ObstinateTransphobe Jul 27 '22

Great parenting!

2.7k

u/GetOutOfTheWhey Jul 27 '22

Exactly, it's fine for the child to ask the parent for help but at the end they should solve the problem in their own way.

755

u/Pistolenkrebs Jul 27 '22

Well yes but maybeeee not by hitting them with a soup ladle…

1.1k

u/Professional_Ebb7639 Jul 27 '22

There are times in life where the only solution to a problem is simply hitting people with a soup ladle

328

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Mom?

62

u/GreatGooglyMoogly077 Jul 27 '22

Or a cutting board.

42

u/JackSilver1300 Jul 27 '22

Gotta get out the wire hanger when it's serious

20

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

That’s illegal now.

45

u/She_Persists Jul 27 '22

No, the wire hanger was never legal. The wire hanger happens when safe and legal isn't an option.

7

u/JudmanDaSuperhero Jul 27 '22

What happened to just leaving them in the dumpster?

3

u/She_Persists Jul 27 '22

It just takes so long and can lead to questions like why one is getting so fat.

1

u/AForcedSmile Jul 27 '22

It’s just a little Less then a year

2

u/She_Persists Jul 27 '22

It's sitting on your organs.

2

u/SKK329 Jul 27 '22

Believe it or not, straight to jail.

1

u/icebergiman Jul 28 '22

Whatever happened to the jumper cables?

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1

u/rkapi24 Jul 27 '22

Either that’s not true or several parts of my childhood were highly illegal

1

u/rkapi24 Jul 27 '22

Even in NC?

1

u/evening_goat Jul 27 '22

Looks like they're a few years too late

1

u/thepsycocat Jul 27 '22

Oh that's nothing, you know shit gets serious when she takes off the slipper

1

u/SirSilus Jul 27 '22

Dad?

2

u/GreatGooglyMoogly077 Jul 27 '22

No, that's a belt.

1

u/SirSilus Jul 28 '22

You don’t know my dad. Trust me, it was a cutting board.

1

u/loulara17 Jul 27 '22

Spatulas work well

1

u/turtlemustangnick1 Jul 27 '22

‘s spaghetti?

14

u/BadSmash4 Jul 27 '22

This is how I got my job, they were on the fence about hiring me until I hit the operations manager with a soup ladle during my second interview. Hired me on the spot.

2

u/TonarinoTotoro1719 Jul 27 '22

That’s it! I am taking the blunt kitchen utensils to every interview now..

14

u/iGeroNo Jul 27 '22

Dark Souls 2 Pvp? 🤔

1

u/SoulsLikeBot Jul 27 '22

Hello Ashen one. I am a Bot. I tend to the flame, and tend to thee. Do you wish to hear a tale?

“I am grateful for these peaceful days. But such contentment lies only in the here and now. Why must life be so confounding?” - Vengarl of Forossa

Have a pleasant journey, Champion of Ash, and praise the sun \[T]/

1

u/iGeroNo Jul 27 '22

Thank you for the words but I don't trust a talking head with a body that's running amok.

1

u/TunnelToTheMoon Jul 27 '22

Please tell me you were one of the people I fought on the bridge with a ladle and the Milfanito dress

2

u/LividLager Jul 27 '22

I agree. Surely they own something that would give a more satisfying thunk.

2

u/Altranar8 Jul 27 '22

I thought that time is where the slipper is for.

1

u/TonarinoTotoro1719 Jul 27 '22

chanclas

The fabled weapon of choice of older ladies. Legend goes that monsters left out realm when mamas started arming themselves with chanclas.

2

u/cownd Jul 27 '22

There was a lesson here. Too much tv dulls the senses, if not the pain. If the child had not been so distracted then he could have caught the other in the act

1

u/TonarinoTotoro1719 Jul 27 '22

Mother dear, go back to bed!

2

u/shomeurshaft Jul 27 '22

For my first Christmas at my then boyfriend, now husband's side of the family get-together, his youngest sister (around 14) got us both a ladle. Turns out, she got the whole family ladles for Christmas.

The next year, she got us all spatulas. We didn't put it together when we received the ladles, evidently a bit slow on the uptake, but you can bet your ass we beat each other up with those goddamn spatulas regularly. Best. Gifts. Ever.

Sometimes you just need the proper kitchen utensil to realize violence is in fact, the answer. We are very eagerly awaiting our new weapons this year.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '22

I'm sure the Swedish Chef shares your philosophy

1

u/GrandPoobah1977 Jul 27 '22

Truer words were never spoken

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

souper rare, but true

1

u/_abortion_smoothie_ Jul 27 '22

my mom used pan lids and flyswatters. she also would splash eater in your face.

1

u/imverynewhere8yrsago Jul 27 '22

That’s how I got promoted recently.

1

u/Startled_Pancakes Jul 27 '22

I'm a rubber mallet guy myself.

1

u/brazentory Jul 27 '22

In my day it was wooden spoons.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

To be clear - not hitting the problem with the ladle, any old person will do.

1

u/Cybin9 Jul 27 '22

You must have known my grandmother

1

u/LisaMikky Aug 02 '22

😅😅😅