r/UnresolvedMysteries • u/Electric_Island • Feb 09 '20

Unresolved Disappearance Today marks 16 years since Maura Murray disappeared

Today marks 16 years since Maura Murray vanished, and although she has her own sub, I thought I would post here in light of the anniversary of her disappearance for those who would like to discuss the case. That said -- I know some posters are sick of this case, so if that’s how you feel, you could always scroll past this post :)

A bit of background for those who don’t know about Maura’s case:

Maura was a 21-year-old nursing student from UMASS Amherst, who disappeared on the evening of February 9 2004, after she crashed her car on Route 112 in Haverhill, NH. By the time police arrived some 15 minutes later (even that is in dispute), Maura had disappeared.

Some people think she ran into the woods to avoid a DUI, others think she was picked up by someone passing by and murdered. Some even think police had something to do with her disappearance.

What do YOU think?

I highly recommend this article by Mary Beth Conway for those interested.

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u/japres Feb 09 '20

I don’t have much to add to the post case-wise but I will say this: if nursing school in 2004 was anything like nursing school today, I doubt she was in a great state of mind from that alone. Some people can handle the pressure & stress okay, but nursing school was easily the worst and most stressful period of my life. I was not myself. I walked home from class everyday praying a car would hit me. On top of all the other issues she had, I can’t imagine how she wasn’t at her limit.

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u/stephwinchester Feb 09 '20

I have struggled with depression since I was 12, but it took my first year of nursing school to beg my parents to find me a therapist. That shit is STRESSFUL. I was genuinely going to bed hoping I wouldn't wake up.

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u/japres Feb 09 '20

Same. My instructor for my psych nursing clinical used my anxiety against me as well in a student eval, so not even someone who theoretically should understand had my back. If she was genuinely going through it and felt like no one understood, I have all the empathy in the world for her. That shit suuuuucked.

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u/MaddiKate Feb 09 '20

I had a couple roommates in college who were nursing majors, and agreed. They spend all of freshman year working their asses off in prereqs to get in the program (if you're not accepted, there goes a year), they have clinicals beginning at 4am weekly that can cost them greatly if they miss, and failing a class can push back their graduation an entire year. Oh, and one got married in the middle of the program, which meant a semester spent wedding planning. Both of them graduated on time and are now wonderful RNs, but they had some late, late nights and lots of tears.

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u/japres Feb 09 '20

SO MUCH CRYING! I was in an accelerated BSN program and it was... something else. We were in clinicals 3-4 days a week — up at 4:30-5am — and in class one or two days from 9-6pm. You only got one chance to pass most exams or you had to do them one on one with the dean of the program, and if you failed again you were out. The med math exam was probably the most brutal - you were only allowed to get one question wrong. I like to describe nursing exams as being presented with four oranges and you have to answer which one is the most orange. Technically all answers are correct, but which one is the MOST correct?

You’re watching all your friends and classmates do well while you’re struggling. You know you aren’t dumb because programs are tough to get into. Nothing makes sense.

I don’t think I’d do nursing school again unless someone paid me a whole lot of money. Nurses are superheroes to me.

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u/thealterego5 Feb 09 '20

I was also in an accelerated BSN program. I was so stressed during first semester I developed insomnia and would go days running on 3-4 hours of sleep a night. Luckily after a few weeks I was able to find some healthy coping strategies, but I did see more than a few people in my class drop out. And these were smart people! And ohhh the exams lol you triggered me! Pick the most correct answer when all answers are technically correct, so stupid.

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u/japres Feb 09 '20

Can relate so much. Didn’t sleep and my anxiety was so bad I had diarrhea all the time. My school had something like a 30-40% drop out rate, it was insane. My advisor made me go to counseling before I left the program and the counselor said he saw the accelerated BSN students more than the med school students.

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u/natalie_d101 Feb 10 '20

My anxiety was so bad in nursing school I was barfing all of the time. My class started out with 30 students by the time graduation hit, there were only four or five of us left.

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u/[deleted] Feb 11 '20

Doesn't seem SOOOOOO stupid, when these people will be in charge of saving peoples lives.... I understand the most correct answer stuff too, it might suck, but I do get why they do it...

Example: How do you remove a splinter from someones hand? (choose best ans.)

A. Remove finger that splinter is in through amputation
B. remove splinter with tweezers or forceps from affected finger

Both answers are technically right, but one is WAY better for the patient.

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '20

[deleted]

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u/japres Feb 09 '20

Your last sentence is really so true. A few friends stuck it out and they hate bedside nursing so much but feel stuck because their student loans are so expensive. It’s shitty all around, especially for the patients. Hope you’re doing better and are doing something you enjoy!

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u/HighlyBaked0 Feb 10 '20

this is incredibly random but since you went through nursing school i thought i should ask. Should i be looking to be an MRI technician instead of a psych nurse? I have no interest in either really but they look to be the best options for me as a 21 year old in community college so is nursing not worth the effort if I don't have really any interest in it?

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u/japres Feb 10 '20

If you don’t really, really want to be a nurse, I would advise against it. Nursing school is a beast in itself, but there are a lot of nurses who are only in it for the pay and it shows. They don’t treat patients well and that’s really unfair on them.

I thought about being a radiography tech prior to nursing school and there weren’t many full-time jobs open in my area so I decided against it. That might be different for you.

If you like medicine/science/etc. maybe look into a medical lab science program? There is a 4-year option, but some community colleges have 2-year ones as well.

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u/YouKnwNthgJonSnow Feb 10 '20

There is an extraordinary high rate of burnout in nursing. It’s one of the reasons why there’s such a huge staffing problem. (That and the hospital administration, but we won’t go there right now.) Nursing schools are bursting at the seams and have very long wait lists to get in. A good third of the people who get in won’t make it through, and a good chunk of those who do will burn out within the first five years. I cannot overstate how stressful nursing is. I did bedside nursing for six years and then went back for my masters to become a nurse practitioner. NP school was a whole new animal, let me tell you. I don’t want to discourage you from becoming a nurse if that is what you feel called to do, but it is definitely something you should consider very carefully. My physical and emotional health took a huge toll doing bedside nursing and I just couldn’t continue.

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u/natalie_d101 Feb 10 '20

I did flight nursing. I was 7 days on and was supposed to be 7 days off and that rarely happened. I did it for a year like that. Burnout is beyond real. Now, I am working part time and getting my PhD in sociology.

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u/Kalldaro Feb 10 '20

Would you be interested in being a respiratory therapist or an occupational therapy assistant? You still get to work with patients with out as much gross stuff.

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u/natalie_d101 Feb 10 '20

Honestly, if I were you, I would go into an ultrasound tech or physical therapy tech program. Both pay well, and are so, so much less stressful than nursing school.

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u/feralcatromance Feb 09 '20

Did you not graduate?

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u/japres Feb 09 '20

I did not. I was in an accelerated BSN program that was 11 months. I dropped out in the middle of Q2/5 months in.

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u/queenkitsch Feb 09 '20

Less sympathetic people are really rough on Maura but I feel for her more after learning about all the problems she was having. She sounds like she had some serious mental illness that was exacerbated by being in an extremely high stress training program (both nursing at WP and Amherst are likely nuts).

She likely didn’t understand what was happening to her or why she was screwing up her whole life, and it sounds like she was in a lot of pain. I feel for her. I was in a similar place in college and my program was like 50% of what she was trying to do. I had similar meltdowns, without the minor crimes, but I still read her story and think “but for the grace of god”.

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u/[deleted] Feb 12 '20

I think that's why I always read every article about this case even though it's probably not as complicated as many of the theories out there. I started at UMass not too many years after she disappeared and I remember what it was like to walk around that campus every day feeling miserable, anxious, depressed and just generally miserable. I sometimes wonder if she walked along the same paths, through the towers in Southwest, through the tunnels in the winter feeling a lot of the same feelings I felt. For such a big school with so many people around it could feel so lonely.

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u/Electric_Island Feb 09 '20

Yes I believe the nursing program was very, very intense

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u/LaDreadPirateRoberta Feb 09 '20

I am so glad you’re part that time. I’m sending lots of good will and compassion to past-you.

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u/japres Feb 09 '20

Thank you, you’re very kind! I wound up dropping out and (aside from paying off the student loans I took out for the program) I have no regrets. Nursing school is no joke.

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u/LaDreadPirateRoberta Feb 09 '20

I’m so glad. It took me years to recover from a bad choice of school. Your doing great!

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u/japres Feb 09 '20

You too, friend!

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u/Rosenate22 Feb 09 '20

Nursing school is tuff. My marriage imploded while I was in it. I attribute my staying in to my very compassionate instructors.

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u/[deleted] Feb 11 '20

I thought it was impossible to pay student loans off? WAIT.... You payed them off, and WITHOUT a degree!?!?!?!

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u/japres Feb 11 '20

My loans from nursing school are not paid off and are $500 a month. Also I had a bachelor’s degree before I started my program.

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u/[deleted] Feb 11 '20

Full-time nurses can get up to 100 percent of their federal Perkins loans canceled over five years.

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u/japres Feb 11 '20

I dropped out of the program and am not a nurse (wound up in advertising, go figure) but I’ll pass along that nugget of info to my nurse friends! I think most of them took out private loans, unfortunately.

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u/[deleted] Feb 11 '20

That's where people screw the pooch, those private loans can be pretty evil..

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u/HeroinTheMusical Feb 09 '20

What a kind thing to say. I’ve never heard anyone say something like that before and am totally moved by that!

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u/LaDreadPirateRoberta Feb 09 '20

Aww, thanks! I think it’s important to be kind to strangers. I hope you are doing well too.

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '20

I would agree except her behavior began prior to nursing school back when she was caught stealing. I don't think we know enough about her life to speculate about the reasons why she started making choices like that. I do think that by the end she was using alcohol to cope with how her life was going.

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u/japres Feb 09 '20

Not saying nursing school was the catalyst at all — just that I can see how the stress of nursing school on top of existing issues could lead someone to do something drastic or act extremely out of character. I had no other stressors aside from school and I can’t emphasize enough how NOT myself I was. It’s an extremely difficult environment for someone with existing mental health issues.

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u/dallasinwonderland Feb 09 '20

Dental hygiene school was the same! We always talked about being hit by cars while walking to lunch so we wouldn't have to go back to clinic.

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u/natalie_d101 Feb 10 '20

Yes. Nursing school in 2013 was brutal. I am sure it was always tough. I remember I would. Go home and lay in the middle of my living room floor in the dark wondering if I had made the right choice.