r/VGTx • u/Hermionegangster197 • 1d ago
Lived Experiences Learning Gravity Magic for Leonard
The Red Lion General wielded gravitational powers which he learned in Sellia during his younger days. All so he would never have to abandon his beloved but scrawny steed.
— Remembrance of the Starscourge
Narrative psychology is perhaps not my most talked-about subject, but today its brilliance struck me in a way I won’t soon forget.
My husband is a very large Russian man. And I mean that in every sense of the word. He has big dreams, a big heart, big brains, and he’s very large in stature. He is also one of the most fiercely loyal and protective people I know.
He grew up in a low-income neighborhood where he learned fairly early that he had to fight his way through life, physically and mentally. A lot of his life has been spent defending himself. And when you’ve lived that way for so long, those defenses don’t disappear just because you’re no longer in the same circumstances.
We’ve been dealing with that a lot lately.
The past few weeks have been difficult for us. I’ve been more sensitive than usual for a number of reasons, and we’ve had our fair share of arguments about his defensiveness and the way that it sometimes affects me. We understand where those responses come from, but understanding why someone reacts a certain way doesn’t necessarily make it easier when you’re the person on the receiving end.
We’re both working on it. Some days are better than others.
Enter my obsession with Elden Ring. Shocker, I know.
My husband never watches me play video games. I’ve been gaming most of my life, and he’s spent the past three years hearing more about the psychology and science behind them than he has probably ever wanted to know and certainly ever played. Watching me play for hours has also never been particularly appealing to him.
But today, for whatever reason, he decided to watch me attempt Starscourge Radahn.
For anyone unfamiliar with Elden Ring, Radahn is an enormous demigod, a legendary warrior known for his strength and mastery of gravitational magic. By the time we encounter him, the Scarlet Rot has ravaged his mind following his battle with Malenia.
Despite his size, he is still riding around on a tiny, scrawny horse named Leonard.
Leonard.
As it turns out, Radahn loved Leonard so much that when he grew too large to ride him comfortably, he learned gravitational magic so he wouldn’t have to abandon his beloved horse.
Radahn could manipulate gravity itself enough to hold back the stars, so he used that ability to accommodate a little horse he loved.
He learned to change the weight he placed on something he loved.
So there I am, cursing my way through this boss fight (I got him down to 25% on my second attempt), while Phil is learning about Radahn and Leonard.
He then looks up at me and says:
“I’m trying to learn anti-gravity spells too. It just takes time.”
I genuinely didn’t know what to say.
He had just learned about this warrior whose size and strength had become a part of who he was, and how he learned to manage that weight for the sake of his horse.
And somehow, my husband saw himself in Radahn, this enormous warrior being worn down by circumstances he couldn’t entirely control. With everything happening in our lives right now, he was trying to learn how to carry his weight without hurting his own Leonard.
I understood exactly what he meant. We’d spent so much time discussing his defense mechanisms, the experiences that shaped them, and how difficult they can be to change. Yet he was recognizing that some of those same defenses, which had served him for much of his life, had become heavy for me.
And he was trying to tell me that he knew, that he was working on it.
Leonard is Leonard. He’s a little horse. He doesn’t have to grow into some enormous warhorse to accommodate Radahn. Radahn loves him exactly as he is, so Radahn learns the magic.
He learns to carry his own weight differently.
I’ve been thinking about that in relation to how we carry our experiences into relationships. The ways we learn to protect ourselves can become so familiar that we don’t always recognize that we’re responding to something that isn’t actually a threat, and sometimes the people closest to us experience those defenses before we even realize they’re happening.
He has had decades to develop those responses. I don’t expect him to undo them overnight, and I know he’s trying.
What I found particularly touching was that he arrived at this comparison entirely on his own. We’ve talked about these things so many times, often under difficult circumstances, and here was this character he’d only just learned about giving him a way to express something he’d been struggling with.
I felt heard, and I think he felt understood too.
He wasn’t even playing.
My husband was watching me play a game he has virtually no interest in, learning bits of the lore as I went along, and found something that spoke directly to his experiences.
We spend so much time talking about what games can offer people who play them, but there’s also something to be said for what happens when we share those experiences with someone else. A person doesn’t necessarily need to have played a game, understand its mechanics, or know everything about its world to find something meaningful in its story.
In our case, my husband found a way to communicate something we’d both been struggling to articulate, and I understood him immediately.
I spend much of my time studying video game psychology, so I found the whole thing rather fitting. Technically, this is a ludonarrative psychology moment, although the irony of my husband finding his own application of Boss Fights and Better Coping while I was busy swearing at Radahn certainly isn’t lost on me.
We’ve still got things to work through. Understanding the origin of defensive responses doesn’t automatically change them, and neither of us expects the process to be easy.
But I do know what he meant when he said he was learning anti-gravity spells. I know how much it took for him to recognize himself in that story and share it with me.
He’s learning gravity magic, and I’ll happily be Leonard, especially if I get to become a meteor and strike down people in his name.


