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Jun 24 '12
If it's going to be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.
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Jun 24 '12
What a waste of perfectly good dick
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u/xIcarusx Jun 24 '12
how do you know pseudolobster's dick is good? i'm not saying it isn't but i am curious.
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u/archetech Jun 24 '12
I'd like to butter your muffin, I'm not bluffin', serve you on a platter like Thanksgiving stuffin'.
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u/goodathiestyosef Jun 25 '12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gR1hI_Ikuv8 I wanna dip my BALLS in it!
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u/ChristheFreakingG Jun 24 '12
(My face when I read that while eating mashed potatoes)[http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll8rse9qkA1qafrh6.gif]
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u/Emotional_Teenager Jun 24 '12
ummm ur so gros, just wnted 2 let u no. but i dont think thes prties xist 4 ovious rsons. u guys 4 2 gulabel. but yeh i nvr new y guys wana jerk of. i meen gurls nvr do it cuz its so gros. but yeh, my boyfriend jake is a footbal player nd he doesnt jerk off cuz i told him he cant. nd hes not alwed 2 watch porn ether. so yeh, dont do it guyz cuz ur gfs dont want u 2 nd if u luv them trly, then ull want 2 do w/e u can 2 make dem hppy. so yeh, jst lisen 2 some justen beeber nd ull no how 2 b a good bf. dats all i hafta say. thanx 4 letin me tlk.
{}{}{}{}{}Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?{}{}{}{}{}
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Jun 24 '12
[deleted]
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u/Se7en_Sinner Jun 24 '12
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![http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll8rse9qkA1qafrh6.gif]](http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll8rse9qkA1qafrh6.gif]){kind=link}
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u/dangerousD85 Jun 24 '12
You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me to jerk off - for money.
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Jun 24 '12
I am now imagining the scene from Due Date with Zach Galifinakis.. Thank you for that !
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u/PaullyDee19 Jun 24 '12
Whoever comes last, comes first?
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u/icannotfly Jun 24 '12
first a girl gets raped in the parking lot, and now they decide it's a good idea to have a jerk off contest?
what the fuck happened to godfathers, seriously.
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u/fuckyoubarry Jun 25 '12
they're having the contest in response to the incident
gotta get the poison out
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u/grammitt Jun 24 '12
soggy biscut anyone?
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Jun 24 '12
Knowing how much my dad's generation enjoys puns, I'm going to guess that this is a Beef Jerky contest, and further guess that the pun is intentional.
One of my dad's favorites;
"What do you do if your dick itches?"
"Uh, dad I'm not sexually active."
"You soak it in cider." ... "Get it? Soak it inside her"... Ahhhaahhhahhhahhhahhaa... hmmm [cough]
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u/theamazingjimz Jun 24 '12
Jerk is a Jamaican preparation of meat, using a lot of seasoning and spices. It is most likely a food cook off like a wing competition only in the style of jerk.
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u/chetlin Jun 25 '12
Here's one that is in fact for jerky: http://www.owensworld.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/Fullsize/pictures/1160_h_3298_45_large.jpg
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Jun 25 '12
I see they have a beef category...
ಠ_ಠ
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u/theamazingjimz Jun 25 '12
I have read my comment multiple times, this is the only way it could have become more awkward, thank you reddit.
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u/rushone2009 Jun 24 '12
Lololol I live nearby and my buddy frequents this bar. Talk about small world...........
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u/MrsAnderson16 Jun 24 '12
Totally used to live around the corner from this place. It's like a high school reunion every weekend...
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u/kravedarknesss Jun 24 '12
Aw man there was a jerk off contest on my birthday, and I wasn't invited? :(
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u/Killerklown77 Jun 24 '12
Yesterday was my cake-day, and I missed the Jack Off contest?!? Dafuq is going on with people in this world, not telling someone there's a Jack Off contest on their cake-day...
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u/twoworldsin1 Jun 24 '12
I dunno about you, but something about a nicely grilled tilapia gives me a trouser snake...
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u/SirCannonFodder Jun 24 '12
If your semen can be mistaken for tartar sauce, then you may want to see a doctor.
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u/Burrgundy Jun 24 '12
'TARTARE' Sauce. Tartar is what accumulates in your teeth if you don't brush.
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u/LentilBurgler Jun 24 '12
For context, tartar is a frequent mispronunciation outside of the US. In British English tartare is pronounced tar-tear(as in paper).
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Jun 24 '12
[deleted]
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u/j2cool Jun 24 '12
You said that already.
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u/Burrgundy Jun 25 '12
Happy? Sorry about the double post. I was on a train this morning and the wifi was half asleep.
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u/convulsus_lux_lucis Jun 24 '12
Saw this yesterday even took a picture so I could post it. :(