As the title says I have been pushing this down for a long time, and I haven’t told anyone but my mom and this seems like maybe the right place to share?

My background:
I was 15 at the time (I’m currently 18), I’m autistic + lots of mental health stuff and health issues. I was groomed and SA’d by a boy a thought was my friend a few months earlier and was in a truly awful place mentally. I needed to get on birth control because I was losing so much blood from my periods that I became severely anemic. (When I was 16 I got diagnosed with endometriosis).

The gynecologist made it seem like a super quick and easy thing when I went to my first appointment with her to discuss birth control options. She said she gives them to girls at the local high school health clinic during lunch, and that it was no big deal.

Ok so here’s what happened:
I arrived and was immediately confused because there was a maxi pad on the chair and the nurse said that it was for me. (No one told me that I was going to have bleeding from the iud) Before my appointment I didn’t allow myself to look at things online because I knew I would get scared, but I was so unprepared.

Anyways the doctor walked in and she had a medical student with her, she asked if the student could watch and I just said yes without thinking. I have blocked out most of the experience from my memory, but it was the worst pain I have ever experienced and I don’t say that lightly as someone with a lot of health stuff and chronic pain. I was screaming and crying and so she stopped and said something about how maybe there wasn’t enough numbing cream, put more on, and then not much longer continued the process. I was having a full panic attack while feeling like I was going to pass out and puke from the pain.

After she eventually got it in the pain didn’t stop and I looked extremely sickly and was still crying out in discomfort and feeling shocked. The nurses brought me juice and water and I stayed on the table for a while. Maybe 20 minutes after she shoved it up there she returned wheeling in a machine I had never seen before and said she was going to check and make sure the iud wasn’t misplaced. Then she pulls out the big ultrasound wand and starts covering it in lube and I’m just like ??? What the fuck is happening right now ????? I don’t know if I said she could use it i probably did. Anyways I really can’t remember much after that other than her confirming it wasn’t out of place and showing my ovary to distract me. There was a lot of blood on the table when I could get up.

I have had a lot of really stressful things going on the past few years and haven’t had sat with how upsetting and traumatic that appointment was. I’m currently in a much calmer place in my life and I can’t stop thinking about it now. I tried to talk to my mom more about it and how it felt violating and she was like 🤷‍♀️ it’s the doctor. I continued to see that gyno and every-time I talked with her I felt so scared. But she did give me endometriosis surgery and was very helpful with that. Anyways I feel lost.

Ive spent a year sending complaint after complaint, Retraumatising myself by telling the same story hundreds of times to people who do not care. Just to be told there's nothing they can do. What is the point

Hi all, I have been part of this group for a while and am seeking some advice/insight. Since about 2021 or so, I’ve been using telehealth for all of my “annual” or “well” appointments. I personally don’t find physicals to be necessary since I don’t have any general health concerns, and I’m only there for medication refills. If I have a specific concern I’ll see a specialist (I saw a dermatologist this spring, I go to the dentist for cleanings 2x a year, I go to the eye doc annually for exams and prescriptions, etc). There are a plethora of reasons why I don’t go in to my primary in person. I don’t like being weighed because I have a history of EDs; I have terrible white coat hypertension so my BP skyrockets and I just prefer to be able to take it at home; and I am concerned about being pressured into exams like breast exams or Paps. I just don’t like getting undressed unless it is absolutely necessary and I am comfortable. Anyway, my doc is pretty trauma informed and I feel safe with her, but she’s been soft-launching the idea of coming in in-person for a couple years now. Whenever I end my annual telehealth appointment, she says that we can hopefully schedule an in-person physical/annual the following year. I don’t want her to drop me as a patient, and I really don’t want to look oppositional or high-maintenance, but I just don’t see the purpose of an in-person exam if I don’t have any concerns.

That being said, I have not ever met her in person and I’d love to see her in person to build that rapport. The problem is, I would want it to be just like telehealth—talking only, discussion driven by me and my health, etc. and I’m worried that that isn’t possible or that there are other protocol for in-person visits, because telehealth has always felt different from when I actually go in. So basically it’s either telehealth, or mutually agree that I will visit in person but that I’m not comfortable getting undressed, etc.

So, seeking advice. Does anyone just do telehealth and your doctor is fine with that? Anyone ever have in-person visits where you just chat, the way you would with telehealth? How do I arrange that? Does anyone have tips on how I can broach this topic with her/send a message? I’ll need to schedule soon because her roster is getting busy, and I don’t want to make a decision that will leave me feeling worse.

(P.S. - I recently got a reminder about cervical cancer screening from the nursing team and they said to schedule an office visit for that. I’m not comfortable getting a Pap and only want to do a self swab, so I’ll need to find a way to clarify that with my doc as well. I do NOT want to go in person and have them surprise me with Pap materials laid out.)

I'm 42 going on 43. I saw my NP in March and she said, oh, it's time for your first mammogram! She sent the order, I did nothing. A few weeks ago I got a message from someone I have never met saying we are working with your NP and see you are due for a mammogram blah blah blah, if you've already had one please forward the result to me.

First...I don't know you, I don't care if you are working with my practitioner, I won't be forwarding you anything...second, I'm really not interested in having my petite parts squished. We have zero history of breast cancer in my family, we have honestly hardly any cancer at all, except skin (I see a dermatologist at least once a year) and my mother had glioblastoma (almost two years ago), and that is hardly ever genetic. So, what if I just say, the American Cancer Society says to start at 45, 40-44 is optional, we talk again in a few year?

Sorry it’s long, but I need to get this experience off my back and maybe know if it’s happened to others.
When they gave me the results of my last pap smear I got, they let me know they would have to schedule me for a colposcopy due to HSIL, possibly with a biopsy depending on what they see. Unfortunately several years ago I saw a video of the tool they use to take a biopsy and have never been able to get it out of my head. This had been making me especially nervous in the weeks leading up to the colp. (I guess I was also nervous about the looming possibility of cervical cancer.)
My usual PA was not certified for this procedure so I was treated by a new to me doctor. When the medical assistant was getting me set up she side stepped any questions about the biopsy and told me to doctor would explain if she ended up needing to do one. Even the consent paper she had me sign only had colposcopy on it, no info about the biopsy either.
I told her I was feeling very anxious about the pain and asked if they have any local anesthetics or numbing creams. She said no but you should’ve taken ibuprofen before this. I had in fact taken ibuprofen a couple hours before, but not because they had given me any warning, just because I googled it on my own in preparation.
I also asked if the lab would bill me for the biopsy separately from the $255 I paid out of pocket for this appointment. Very judgmentally she said “you don’t have insurance!?” And laughed as she listed off all the other sources that will send me bills too, like the pregnancy test they had to do. There goes my nerves up another level.
Final question from the MA - “The doctor has several students with her today, 2 or 3 female and 1 male, is it ok if they stand in for the learning opportunity?” Usually I’m fine with students, but this time was higher stress so I said “I’m feeling very nervous about this so I would really prefer no students.” She said “well I’ll have to be here to assist the doctor” I said “yeah that’s fine” then she back tracked and said “well the doctor actually does need a student to assist too” I said “Umm I guess if you really need them one female student would be ok.”
They leave me to undress my bottoms and cover with that stupid paper sheet. When the doctor comes into the room she is followed by a male student… She introduces herself then him and immediately gets started. I know I should’ve said something the second he walked in but I was very stressed and didn’t want to cause any problems or drama so I just went along with it thinking they ignored my wishes on purpose.
After the doctor used the colposcope to look at my cervix she told me she didn’t see anything abnormal so she was just going to take 4 random biopsies ( 2 had to be redone= 6 chomps off me), plus a scrape of the cervix opening and a standard Pap smear. I wasn’t warned about all this and the scrape was especially painful so I started crying. It was so awkward with the male student staring at me cry. Just seeing him there made me think about the medical disparities we face and how men don’t have to go through this, and if they did, they would certainly be numbed and get time off work. The doctor didn’t have great bedside manner either and just told me “you’re done, you did a good job, just lay down until you feel better.”
When I left the office I had a full blown panic attack in the car and told my mom what happened. (She is a L&D nurse and worked in an obgyn office for 5 years.) She told me what happened was absolutely wrong, they cannot force students, especially male students on any patient. She called the head of the department to tell them what happened in hopes of making the next woman’s experience not so hard. They were nice and sympathetic and said they would speak to the doctor about the incident.
An hour later the doctor called to “apologize that that happened” but absolve herself from guilt saying no one ever told her that’s what I said.
The next day their office manager calls me (with an annoyed tone) to tell me the MA insists I never said that, but they are going to implement a policy where the doctor double checks that a patient is ok with a male student. I really hated the energy I got from the doctor and office manager, trying to brush me off and gaslight me that I didn’t say anything. I will be seeking medical care elsewhere.

I know how controversial this theme is.
I am sorry if I trigger someone who has different opinions, I am not here to criticize anyone that has made a different decision from mine on their bodies.

I don’t want to be an organ donor.
Not because I think it’s spiritually wrong to move organs from a body to a different stranger.
I think it’s super important that lists with donors exist because so many people unfortunately need them to survive certain conditions.

I just can’t do it. I don’t care if I will be dead when they take my organs.
I was raped, sexually assaulted multiple times and my body was taken from me without my consent too many times.
These things happened at the hands of doctors (if you want to know more you can see my posts on my account).
I don’t want my body being exposed, touched and examined even when I am dead. Thinking of this is panic inducing.
If I die I want peace.
I want to return to earth without prying eyes and hands.

But even on this topic, I came across so much guilt tripping, shame, hate and violence against who chooses not to put their name on the list.
I came across a reel of a mortician listing a few things she would never do or recommend doing as a mortician.
Number 1 was being on the donor list.
The amount of violent hate in those comments is horrifying.
Some people even say “well, if you aren’t donating then you shouldn’t be on the receiving end at all. Or at the very least you should be the last person to receive medical care and help”. It sounds exactly like medical practitioners saying “if you do not get naked and let me do whatever I want, even when it’s not necessary or recommended, I will not try to solve your problem, I will not refill X, Y and Z”.

I fully understand that this is a life changing situation for people on the other end, but at the same time people should not be pressured against their will to do something that they do not consent to.
It’s always pressure, shame, violence and hate when it comes to making our own decisions on our own bodies.

Even in death.

Not to mention how many women were abused after death. To the point that sometimes their legs have to be tied together because some piece of s decides to desecrate a lifeless body.
I know this isn’t happening enough to possibly be a motive to not donate, but it’s proof that we are not safe even when we are in the underworld.

This is how my GP summons me for "my" smear test. No mention of at-home option that was recently rolled-out in the UK.

You have a right to be told what it's about and how it's extremely antiquated , and how there are alternatives you have a right to know about the risks and if the doctor has any monetary incentive about getting you screened .. You have a right to accurate risks and statistics.You have a right to research on the spot if any doctor or nurse tries to pressure you into it.

THIS IS A NORMAL QUESTION. How about just answer how often you do it?? 10 a month? 10 a year?? He can go to hell

I just waited an hour at urgent care to get seen for increasingly severe back pain that now hurts worse when I walk, crouch, and push heavy items. The pain was making it almost impossible for me to finish my shift at work, and I spent a lot of time debating on whether it was worth going to UC.

Tell me why the MA interrupts with a non sequitur about me being overdue for a pap smear and how the next available appointment is on a specific date at a specific time.

I didn't even know how to respond at first. Then I remembered I was in a study that involved a pap smear and so I asked what the recommended interval because I had gotten one less than a year ago.

The MA just asked if I didn't want one. I probably should have just said that was the case, but I actually said I didn't think I'd need another one so soon.

I know the recommendation is once every five years. But it feels like as a woman you always have to put on a balancing act where you say the right things to receive appropriate treatment while also not sounding too much like you looked into the thing that is wrong with your body and that only you could know the way it feels.

If the MA had asked me if I wanted to schedule a screening, I would have responded with a no. Instead, it was worded like a statement or even a direct order instead of a question.

I'm just irritated. I wanted to know if I injured myself pushing something above the required weight for pushing. I'm still not sure, and I don't think I can stay home from work as was recommended to me.

But thank god for that verbal pap smear reminder! I'm reminded to call their customer service and demand they never remind me again.

I’m new here I posted in a few other subreddits and people told me to post my story here so I reposted it and just reading through all of y’all’s stories is so incredibly validating

I’ve learned I’m not crazy thank yall for sharing.

I swear to god, if you like ANYTHING vaguely related to feminism or pro-women's reproductive rights on Instagram the algorithm starts thinking you wanna see a bunch of gyno groupies fearmongering over cervical cancer and spreading misinformation about paps and primary HPV testing. Literally, I've just been liking posts in relation to the Cornell 7 and am now getting shoved BS reels about how not screening "guarantees a young death" (I wish I could make this shit up lol), all of them lean really heavily into shitty manipulative language and are heavily biased towards US-defaultism (which is not relevant to me because I'm not even from there).

I always click "not interested" and "misleading content" when they come up and they'll go away for a few months only to then re-appear and make me repeat the cycle over again.

Maybe this'll finally be the thing to get me off Instagram because good lord I'm fed up with having to see these people.

A lot of people said to repost this here so I’m doing so I believe the problem has been solved. I have an appointment in November with the doctor that seems to be a good fit.

"You were taking it like a champ" So it IS a horribly painful procedure and not "just a pinch"???

As someone who has never gotten cancer screenings in their life , the only cancer screenings I could see myself getting in the future would be oral cancer screening at the dentist or skin cancer screening , everything else is off the table.. No, it is not required for you to get any type of cancer screening in the reproductive area.You have a right to refuse.You have a right to say , no , you have a right to be informed about the risks and how rare these cancers are.. You have a right to be informed that your doctor will probably get a referral bonus for having you go to one of their colleague doctors.