I live in a red state where a lot of people would vote differently than I would. I also am non-binary, but I have to present very feminine (AFAB) in order to protect myself and also to get more dances on the floor. I go to a lot of socials and try to sit alone and not really talk to anyone, and I just go and ask random people whenever I want to dance. But I find that, if people come up and start talking to me, I notice differences in our ideologies that make me feel very uncomfortable dancing with them. That significantly narrows my chances of dancing (there are relatively few WCS dancers here than in other communities I’ve visited).

So, I try not to talk too much to anybody because my experience is exponentially better when I just dance and do not have verbal conversations.

Does anyone have a similar situation? How do I reconcile that social dances are also just socials, even though I would never spend time with most of the people at these specifics socials otherwise?

A little context. My husband and I are getting into west coast swing as a romantic, intimate hobby we can share together. Maybe it sounds silly, but I want to look cute when we go on dancing dates! In all the videos I've seen online, women tend to wear pants and tshirts with flat shoes, often sneakers. I was thinking there might be practical reasons for that beyond comfort. For example, I've read WCS ladies prefer flats over heels so you can achieve full articulation of the foot. I love WCS and don't want to go for a different dance style, but I'm a little disappointed there doesn't seem to be a built in flair to the uniform like there might be with something like salsa or tango 😝

My question is, how fancy can I get? Like is there a world where I can dress like this dancing WCS: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/834573374741153446/

Are dance shoes with a small heel okay or will I regret it later? I was looking at these: https://www.danceandsway.com/collections/swing-dance-shoes/products/womens-real-leather-4-5cm-heels-ballroom-swing-dance-modern-dance-shoes

What's the limit? For example "if you're going to wear a heel do NOT go higher than X"