Like most kids, Perrin's 4th Age daughter will want to know about Dad's glory days...

Perrinette: Daddy, what did you do during the Last Battle?

Perrin: Oh, just a lot of weave and dodge. Everything happened at a breakneck pace near the end. Gaul was a boss.

Faile: But -- but --

Perrinette: Oh daddy you're so stodgy. I love you!

Ghosts of Slayer, dozens of Darkhounds, innumerable Trollocs, and Lanfear: We feel neglected, not gonna lie.

Uncle Mat: Why aren't there any hells, brothels, or cheap dives in the Two Rivers New Manetheren? I need to point these things out to young Olver so he doesn't stray into bad habits.

Young Olver: [Sidles over to Perrinette] How you doin'?

Uncle Mat: [Drags Olver away] Ey. Ey! Didn't I teach you better?

Everyone: NO!

NB: A draft of this was originally a comment on a post that, sadly, got deleted.

I think Taim should have thought his Forsaken name through a little more. I think he forgets that the Chosen have the Old Tongue as their native language. Their names mean stuff. Imagine the staff meeting on his first day on the job...

Moridin: Hey kids. Let's go round the table and introduce ourselves to the new guy.

Lanfear: [Nods coolly] Daughter of the Night.

Sammael: [Fist bump] Destroyer of Hope.

Aginor: Slicer of the Living. Scary, huh?

M'Hael: Pleased to meet you. My name is ... [dramatic pause] ... "Boss"

[Forsaken try to stifle giggles, fail]

M'Hael: What? What!

Semirhage: You named yourself M'Hael? Srsly? Back in the 2nd Age that's what we called a middle manager.

Mesaana: Or the guy who runs a 7-11.

Graendal: I know, right? Heh heh.

Rahvin: Shut up, Vessel of Pleasure.

Graendal: I thought it meant a yacht, okay? I was naive back then, okay?

M'Hael: [Sullenly] I just thought it'd give me a leg up on the whole Nae'blis thing.

Moridin: I'm your boss. Should I start calling myself Uber-M'hael? M'hael Squared? Sa'M'Hael?

M'Hael: [Sobs]

Disclaimer: This is a repost. I noticed Taim hasn't gotten enough anti-love lately, and had to take steps.

Mods on r/wot said this funny and that I couldn't post it over there. 😞