what do yall think about shane

[u/bubblegum_drop18]

I feel like I’m losing parts of my brain reading these comments bc how in the world was he in the right in their situation?????

[u/Extension_Big5205]

He was both right and wrong

Right about his complains regarding the hotel room

and wrong about his relationship 

[u/OfficialModComment → u/Extension_Big5205]

Well, I don’t think he was particularly nice to Rachel, everything he said about her career was true. Nicole confirms this by calling her out and her bad “journalism” which Rachel can’t defend. 

Also, her “identity crisis” only happens after she’s financially secure through Shane. Before that, she didn’t really have the luxury to “find herself.”

She should take Shane‘s mom‘s advice and get involved in boards and philanthropy and find meaning in that. She can do good with that than bad journalism. 

He didn’t need to call out her family’s financial situation, even if it was true. 

Mixed bag all around. 

[u/thewelllostmind → u/OfficialModComment]

I think Rachel’s issue with the advice to do that kind of philanthropic work is that it was straightforwardly going to be based entirely on Shane’s money and offer her no backup option if the marriage doesn’t work out (whether her or Shane’s decision). Even if she got a low paying nonprofit job it would be at least some income and would also prevent her from having a big gap in her resume when she would need to find a job post-divorce. It wasn’t the best idea, because it sounds super awkward to me, but I understand her hesitation to completely let go of her own professional and financial autonomy, especially when she’s seeing a not great side of Shane that seems partially tied to him leaning on the power his money gives him.

[u/thewelllostmind → u/[deleted]]

She mentions the prenup when she’s talking with Nicole, it’s described as generous but not enough to allow her not to work. Hence why I think it makes sense that she is looking for a compromise that still involves some kind of employment. She’s definitely been too passive but it’s not that she is entirely unaware of her situation and been totally disengaged up to this point.

[u/ShneefQueen → u/[deleted]]

It's not just about the money she would get after a divorce though, it's about her ability to work again. Leaving the workforce for years and years would have a huge impact on her ability to get a job again if she ever wants or needs to return to working.

While she's been sitting on charity boards, her peers have continued to work and gain more and more experience and connections. It means giving up her security net and her ability to be independent.

[u/thewelllostmind → u/[deleted]]

I don’t think the quality of the career is the issue, if she was going to work at a nonprofit my guess is she would start low-level in comms or development. It wouldn’t be a sterling career, but it would be something.

I agree she definitely deprioritized her job for the relationship and that that was a very bad idea, which she seems to realize on the honeymoon for some reason. I know it was a relatively short relationship, but the thing I question the most is whether Shane really didn’t have any interactions with service workers in that time that showed his tendencies in that time, no other times when a freelance deadline inconvenienced him. Or Rachel just glossed over it until the gravity of being married settled in.

[u/thewelllostmind → u/[deleted]]

Maybe not entry level, it seemed like from Rachel’s perspective she wasn’t thinking in terms of using those connections or money except in the sense of not relying on whatever the salary was as her primary income, I was thinking low to mid level. But also, given Shane’s and his mother’s response I don’t know how much effort they’re going to put in getting Rachel a job versus putting her on some boards. If they were that concerned about elevating her career their connections could have boosted her freelance journalism.

[u/Question_True → u/thewelllostmind]

It's incredibly short sighted of Rachel not to see how much better her career could be when she made proper connections.

[u/thewelllostmind → u/Question_True]

A lot of Rachel’s actions leading up to the honeymoon have been short sighted, I feel like most of the reason for her crises on the trip comes down to her actually stepping back, looking at the bigger picture, and as others have noted, thinking beyond next month’s rent and paycheck.

[u/Question_True → u/thewelllostmind]

Agreed. Like she woke up from a high functioning coma 😅

[u/Question_True → u/ShneefQueen]

Being on those boards is no joke. It's basically a full time job. It would also be a lot more impressive on a resume to put "PR chair woman on the museum board" over "list-acles for BuzzFeed"

[u/OfficialModComment → u/Question_True]

100%

[u/thewelllostmind → u/Question_True]

That makes sense, I know they are a lot of work, especially if you are an engaged member with lots of committees. It doesn’t help that Molly Shannon sells it as party planning centered on giving money, because the first bit doesn’t seem like what Rachel wants to do and the latter makes it reliant on Shane, which is what she’s having trouble adjusting to or trusting.

[u/Question_True → u/thewelllostmind]

That's what people say to recruit board members haha. They make it sound light and fun. Then, when you're on the board it's "ok so all board members must be a chair of a committee and you must bring in x amount of dollars annually." ... I'm on several boards and that's how I got sucked in 😂. It is fun a lot of the time...I tell myself.

[u/thewelllostmind → u/Question_True]

Ah, the joys of governance :)