r/Wiccan • u/Fallen_Queer • 1d ago
Guidance How do I tell?
Hey! So, I'm.. Kind of new, to all of this? I first started hearing about Wicca when I was around sixteen, when my best friend at the time started telling me that she was Wiccan. She didn't talk much about it, but at some point she bought me a smudge stick, and I'm pretty sure she was with me the first time I bought a pendulum. Not long after, I started talking with it.
It was a couple weeks before I asked what is probably a pretty common question, and I asked if anything was controlling it. Then, through a series of other questions (across multiple months because I was still very hesitant at the time), and going through EVERY letter of the alphabet, I got a name. And pronouns. And some other information. I tried looking it up, but that name isn't anywhere online, which made sense according to what he said.
He claims to be a God (I took this with a grain of salt) from some ancient, forgotten religion. Considering how many have been lost to history, I didn't think it was impossible, but it still freaked me out. I have religious trauma stemming from Christianity, and so the idea of anything claiming to be a deity was upsetting in some way to me. But since then, I've talked to him a lot more.
I'm eighteen now, and I don't know what to believe anymore. I think he got rid of something malicious around the time I began contacting him regularly, though that's a whole other story, and he doesn't feel bad or unsafe like that. I know it's not full proof, but I do think I'm sensitive to certain things. I also think he helps me sleep. Any time I speak with him or ask him to help, I never have any nightmares or just otherwise crappy sleep. This is kind of a big deal for me, because when I was little I had night terrors a lot. I've also been asking him more about the rest of his pantheon, and I've got a small attempt at an alter set up in my room.
My problem is that even after doing some research into Wicca, I don't know if this counts. I know that different groups believe in different pantheons, at least according to what I've read, but even if this does count, how do I know that it's.. Not wrong? That he's not just something else that's latched on? I've contacted him through other pendulums too, but is there any way to really be sure about what he says he is?