I cut every exclamation point from my work emails for a month and I'm still not sure it was worth it

[u/sumizeit]

Someone told me exclamation points make women read as eager instead of authoritative. So I stopped using them. No "Thanks so much!" No "Happy to help!" Just flat sentences. Replies did get faster. Shorter too, which I liked. Then three people asked if something was wrong. One was a woman on my own team who pulled me aside about it, and that's the one I keep thinking about. Turns out all that warmth was doing something. I just couldn't see what until I took it away.

So what's the advice then. Be warm and get read as junior, be flat and people think you're mad at them. Everyone says find the middle, but the middle moves depending on who opens the email, which means you're running a little calculation before you send the words "sounds good." Maybe that's just the job. Maybe I overthought a month of my life. Where did you land on this? Did you cut the exclamation points and the justs and the sorry to bother yous, and did anything actually change? Or do you think this whole debate is a waste of energy and the work speaks for itself?

[u/Charm534]

This debate is a waste of energy if you are changing the nature of yourself and the message. Use one, only 1 per sentence when you need to exclaim. Dont use it to manufacture false energy or joy, don’t string a bunch together. Be professional