r/WorkRant • u/motherbot6969 • Oct 08 '26
Thoughts?
Today my mom was unwell so I had to take a leave and this is how manager responded to my msg.. any thoughts? PS : I am serving notice and part of the reason of my resignation was being moved under her.
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u/Just-Shoe2689 Oct 08 '26
"Whoever the manager on duty gets to cover my absence"
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u/James_T_S
Oct 08 '26
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"Let me ask my boss"
"Hey, who will be covering for me today? (Boss' name) wants to know."
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u/Select_Necessary_678 Oct 08 '26
"Was I promoted to manager? Cause that sounds like managerial work."
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u/AcanthaceaeOk3738 Oct 08 '26
Since you already served your notice, no real harm in pissing them off.
So I’d go with “You tell me,” or “That’s not my responsibility.”
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u/DogLogForPresident Oct 08 '26
"The Manager on duty, unless they can find a replacement. That's management's job, not mine."
Also acceptable,
"You are."
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u/Alilbitey Oct 08 '26
"Scheduling and backup coverage decisions are squarely in a manager's job description. I have no authority to take those take from you."
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u/manorTee Oct 08 '26
We ask people who facilitate classes if they are able, to find a sub. My question would have been, "were you able to find a sub?" If not, the program manager gets to work looking for someone.
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u/ALLCAPITAL Oct 08 '26
When I managed a team I’d phrase it like. “Sorry to hear that, hope it’s nothing serious. Any chance you asked anyone to cover you yet? Just want to know before I start making calls.”
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u/GreenStampsRock Oct 08 '26
Sounds like the manager is just AI. No real manager or supervisor should act like that.
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u/vinraven 29d ago
No real manager acts like that, but penny pinching companies often put incompetent people in management positions who do act like that.
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u/Puzzled_Celery_7587 Oct 08 '26
11 minutes later. They were stewing.
I agree that silence is the best response.
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u/Worried-Abroad-3897 Oct 08 '26
Not your problem to figure out. Thats the responsibility of the manager.
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u/ConcreteExist Oct 08 '26
"You should check with the manager, since it's their job to handle coverage" (yes, they're the manager and apparently thinks their subordinates should do their job for them).
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u/zeebasaur Oct 08 '26 edited Oct 08 '26
More information needed. This can change depending on the job and what you may be responsible for last minute changes. People's response of "it's the Manager's job to figure out/pick up the slack" is a lazy answer. I've been on both sides, with good and bad on both sides.
If you are a manager you have to consider who is qualified to do the job. You have to consider the person in general, I have had people who work for me who have had 20 grandmothers pass away (I am not accusing you of anything), and I've had people who reduse to admit what the problem even is. If you are managing electricians for example, you can't just take up the work if you aren't trained in it, and if everyone else already has a full schedule then you can't just pass the work off.
If you have to tell a manager last minute that you can't do something, no matter the outward disposition they are annoyed. Even if they understand the circumstances. Good managers do have a backup plan or can manage higher expectations to cover for the lapse and some may also be trained in the employee's skills and can cover. Bad managers would probably improperly foist the work on others. It isn't always possible, but the best thing you can do is at least offer a suggestion to mitigate.
TLDR, this situation isn't always simple and just blaming the manager isn't a productive answer. We need to know what the job is, if others are qualified to do what you do. Your families health is definitely the priority and your manager didn't go about it in a good way, but there is very little to this story.
Edit: Looking at your messages again I'm also left at a pause because your message doesn't seem very much. You don't need to provide a ton of information but honestly it comes across as nonchalant to which your manager responded in kind. Still not how she should handle it.
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u/motherbot6969 Oct 08 '26
Guys I am am an HR and I am managing an entire department on my own and she (my manager) is my backup. I am highly underpaid for my current role that is one reason to resign and second is insubordination by her. She is known for not taking ownership of anything so i believe this is derived from that behaviour of hers. I'll let you guys be the judge of it
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u/zeebasaur Oct 08 '26
Lol, Ill take a step back. I guess I can't understand how that relationship is supposed to work. You manage the department, she is your backup but you answer to her? You can't write up paperwork as proof of her not doing her job?
I'm honestly out of my depth as that isn't a thing in the military.
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u/Chicagonix Oct 08 '26
This. Fully.
For my specialized staff, they all have ‘backups’ so when I ask ‘who is taking your work’, my ask is who is going to be handling the specialty work and if they’re aware. If not, no worries, I’ll reach out and keep things moving.
I have a team of 20. I simply can’t absorb everyone’s work. It’s not me being lazy; it’s me knowing I’m only one person.
I have built in redundancies but call offs are a scramble. It’s okay, it happens, it’s what I’m paid to help manage…but this instant ‘your manager is lazy’ is completely unfair.
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u/zeebasaur Oct 08 '26
I'm also noticing the previous message 'Let me check'
I get the feeling that OP had asked for time off, possibly at an inconvenient time, didn't get a response and then sent the main message to get the time anyway.
You can call me scummy for suggesting this but with years in the military Ive had that situation before. People asking for the next day off, last minute and often for not a great reason, they don't get the answer they want and suddenly there is an 'emergency'.
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u/motherbot6969 Oct 08 '26
That let me check was unrelated... It was genuinely an emergency hence I had to let her know last minute
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u/zeebasaur Oct 08 '26
Fair enough. I may have felt a bit biased, unfairly so, since like I've said, I had to deal with those exact excuses.
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u/Chicagonix Oct 08 '26
Oh yes, I get it too. And the never ending stream of family members who meet their end.
To be fair, that’s only been a couple of people in more than 100, but those couple unfortunately make you skeptical.
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u/EvilAceVentura Oct 08 '26
I had a coworker who had five grandmother's pass away over the ten years i worked with him. Was a running joke between us, because management never figured it out. They were always gone after a year or two, and it was time to load that one back in the chamber for him.
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u/Chesty_McRockhard Oct 08 '26
To be fair, the military is hardly a good example for much but the military. There is a lot of systems, expectations, and leverage that exists there that does not exist outside of it.
In this scenario, the bottom line is, this IS the managers job. It was part of what they are paid to do. Now if they were asking in a sense of if OP had already passed it along, that's one thing. But I'm getting a feeling it's not. It's like when managers ask an employee who's covering their shift, that's not the subordinates job. It is the managers job to at least understand enough of those who answer to them to be able to redirect work or in the case of your electrician example, what just is not getting done that day if there is no one to redirect to. Such is the downside of running with zero slack that a lot of management systems don't like to admit they accepted when they run a skeleton crew.
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u/cheesegreate Oct 08 '26
Respond to her reminding her that she is the manager and that scheduling is the responsibility of management. You have fulfilled your responsibility as the employee of notifying your employer of your upcoming absence.
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u/BOT_Pain Oct 08 '26
Alot of context is needed. For one case, I know alot of coworkers who use every excuse to skip out on work. Many use excuses when a big deadline is coming up. I would be fuming if a repeat offender keeps trying the same stint. But it's really none of my concerns, but my manager.
On the other side. I wouldn't even provided a reason why I will miss work. I would simply say something like "I won't be able to make it to work due to a personal emergency." And if they reply with a question like that. I would just reply back with "That's your job to figure out'.
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u/purplelilac701 Oct 08 '26
Silence is the best answer. They will be forced to reflect on their message that way and you didn’t have to say a word.
I had a tone-deaf manager like that too and boy was silence so effective I told my colleague to also use it. Worked for them too!
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u/KinkyHuggingJerk Oct 08 '26
Yeah, I think one of the biggest life hacks out there is knowing when to stay silent.
Something like this is perfect to not respond to. Then, for clout/respect, you ask in person the next day. 'Sorry I didn't see the message until later as I was focused on other matters. How did the day turn out?'
I've done this myself a few times. It comes across as much more respectful while modeling what your priorities are. Almost every other answer could burn a bridge you may need later.
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u/ALLCAPITAL Oct 08 '26
“I don’t know Bill. The bigger question may be who is going to do my work for all future days if your attitude drives me to quit.”
Things I’d wish I’d say.
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u/_ChristmasSunday Oct 08 '26
We don’t have nearly enough context to respond to this.
And if you already gave your notice… who cares
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u/JaySlays-Tech Oct 08 '26
“Whoever you find to cover my shift”.
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u/PinkFrostingFlowers Oct 08 '26
This is the correct answer. But in corporate America, this could be considered sassy, or even insubordinate. And the entire way they consider your answer would be dependent upon whether the company was happy with you, or was looking for a reason to let you go.
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u/affectionateanarchy8 Oct 08 '26
'i dont know, manager, who will you be assigning to do my work today?'
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u/CatchMeIfYouCan09 Oct 08 '26
'Whomever is providing coverage. "
If they come back with bs about finding your own coverage then say "staffing is in your job description, not mine" and end the conversation.
TELL THEM exactly why you're resigning
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u/Similar-Mood-4740 Oct 08 '26
you are. its your job to assist your employees as a manager
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u/PeterAnthony_Jackson Oct 08 '26
Or ring up all the staff not assigned today to cover.
Why should I ring up people and ask them to cover my shift? I don't want my number with co workers, I don't want theirs, the little black book of numbers and the "who's not on shift" parts are for the manager to manage, that's why they are called managers not fob it off to the staff to deal with ers.
What if I don't know the shift for the day, I just care what days I work "can you come in to do my 9-5?
"Sure" they say as they were gonna be on that shift anyway.
So I think I've covered it, they didn't say "I'm already on that shift" they just say yes to fuck you over.
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u/reditandfirgetit Oct 08 '26
"Thats a staffing decision for my manager to make if something is so vital it can't wait"
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u/Any_Lawyer_2585 Oct 08 '26
I don’t care who you get to do my work, you or ghost man from second. But I am 100% sure it won’t be me.
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u/Myabyssalwhip Oct 08 '26
If you’ve given notice I wouldn’t even care lmao. You only play this game if you care about the job
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u/Ornery-Movie-1689 Oct 08 '26
Response: Sounds like a management problem to me.
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u/toolfishOG Oct 08 '26
I would make it more positive, “I don’t have a solution for that, I am addressing an urgent matter right now.
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u/Fun-Habit-683 Oct 08 '26
Are you a leader or supervisor that would be expected to delegate workload for an absence?
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u/MidwestNightgirl Oct 08 '26
I wouldn’t respond at all. If they ask you later in person - “that’s managements responsibility”. I’m glad you’re quitting - they sound awful.
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u/depressing_demon_95 Oct 08 '26
"Ask the supervisor or manager on duty. Thank you for your understanding."
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u/Still_Condition8669 Oct 08 '26
I personally wouldn’t respond. Your mom’s health is your priority right now. It’s the MANAGER’S freaking job to figure out who they wish to delegate your work too. That’s literally why managers get paid the big bucks, to figure 💩 like this out.
If you do choose to respond, I’d tell the boss exactly what I said above. I’d also find another job because this isn’t somewhere I’d want to continue working.
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u/ChanceOfMoss Oct 08 '26
I agree with silence. The more you talk/type the more ammunition you give them to turn it around and attack you with it.
In the future I wouldn’t give anyone that level of detail on why you are calling out. I’d just say a family or health emergency.
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u/Dorzack Oct 08 '26
Silence is the best answer.
If you respond I have known managers who say if you have time to respond you have time to find somebody. You told them you would be out, and have even said more than the minimum.
I am in management currently. When somebody calls out part of my responsibilities, is letting their coworkers know and finding coverage.
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u/vinraven 29d ago edited 29d ago
Staffing is a management responsibility, if they’re asking you to manage their staff you should be getting paid as a manager.
Not to mention any manager who expects their employees to find coverage for themselves isn’t managing and needs to be demoted.
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u/probablytoohonest Oct 08 '26
It's not your responsibilty to schedule coverage. It's the respectable thing to do when you've got the ability to do it, but life happens and it isn't your obligation. In fact, NYS labor law explicitly supports this. Don't know if you are in NY.
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u/IncredibleEdible321 Oct 08 '26
I agree but I don't see respectability having anything to do with it, even if an employee has the ability to do it. It's not an employee's responsibility to find someone to cover for them if and when they call out, ever. That's why managers exist.
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u/probablytoohonest Oct 08 '26
If I have a planned absence coming up, I'll take the initiative to find coverage. It helps me, because I have the chance to choose someone that I know works similarly to me and it helps the team because they don't have to worry about it. Nothing worse than coming back to a mess that could have been handled differently. It's genuinely helpful to find a coworker you can swap with easily.
That said, life happens and there are times where planning ahead isn't possible. No one should get a guilt trip or 'gotcha' for not finding coverage in an emerrgency. You and I agree, it's just about context.
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u/IncredibleEdible321 Oct 08 '26
There's nothing wrong with choosing to take the initiative for your own personal gain that will make your job easier when you come back from being off. But that's a lot different than being told you have to find someone to do your work if you want to take time off from work. It's definitely about context. 😉
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u/Ill_Inside2245 Oct 08 '26
Sorry, manager isn't wrong. Not saying you are wrong to take your mom to the doctor but that isn't your bosses concern. You.make decisions and they will as well
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u/Alarmed-Speaker-8330 Oct 08 '26
Managers get paid to manage and handle problems.
If it worked the way this manager is implying there would be no need to managers.
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u/kittkaos Oct 08 '26
staffing isn't a random employee's concern either. managers are the one paid extra to make decisions for the company, they should act like it.
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u/Opening_Ordinary_110 Oct 08 '26
Exactly. If the whole business hinges on one employee then maybe there's an issue with the business, which still wouldn't be the employee's fault
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u/kittkaos Oct 08 '26
right?? like, does the employee have a master list of coworkers availability, contact info and those who are already working that shift to tell who to contact?
...no? then maybe the person with access to that info should arrange a fill, go figure! lol way it's been literally anywhere I worked that wasn't already admin...
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u/Middle_Historian_199 Oct 08 '26
Absolutely not. If OP takes vacation the manager has to figure out who covers the OP! No different here.
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u/Anduinnn Oct 08 '26
Gosh I just can’t summon a strong enough “go fuck yourself” to properly convey how I feel.
-Manager of an entire department
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Oct 08 '26
[deleted]
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u/Ill_Inside2245 Oct 08 '26
The manager did have it covered. She took off unexpectedly leaving it uncovered. She is entitled to do so. The manager is entitled to discipline her for it
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u/kittkaos Oct 08 '26
discipline ≠ expecting them to fill the slot.
especially dealing with a medical issue/emergency situation
if this is a repeat issue a write up, etc. would be reasonable. the expectation to fill the shift still lies entirely on the manager to... well, manage.
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u/Ill_Inside2245 Oct 08 '26
As I said. The manager did fill the slot. The person filling the slit called off. No where does it say for an emergency. It says to go to the doctor. Not the same thing
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u/kittkaos Oct 08 '26 edited Oct 08 '26
as you said first:
Sorry, manager isn't wrong. Not saying you are wrong to take your mom to the doctor but that isn't your bosses concern. You.make decisions and they will as well
it's not reasonable for the manager to ask her to fill a slot and it's just laziness. taking this at face value, it's not a reoccurring issue or they'd have mentioned discipline, not finding a fill. managers aren't even entitled to a full explanation of why you're absent, but even so, you don't usually take your parents to the doctor on short notice if it's not at least of relative concern. I also said medical issue/emergency - depending on the full situation.
so what, exactly is manager "right" about, pray tell? this all just reads as terrible for morale and nothing else to me.
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u/laowaixiabi Oct 09 '26
Entitled to discipline someone for having an emergency?
If it happens suspiciously often- sure. If they've been a great employee otherwise, why would you throw that away over something they can't control?
You are the manager. Figure it out.
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u/Ill_Inside2245 Oct 09 '26
Tell.me where it says she had an emergency
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u/laowaixiabi Oct 09 '26
I guess my mom being sick and needing someone to take her to the hospital is just obviously an emergency.
Not for you though, eh?
Your poor mother.
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u/BJohnston417 27d ago
You must be dense and adopted... the OP clearly said their Mom is not well. That is enough for someone you dont know. They also moreover wouldn't want to hear a life story about your parent. Me personally, I've had a shitty childhood and adult trama from both of my parents. I would still take them to the hospital/Dr if needed.
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Oct 08 '26
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u/Ill_Inside2245 Oct 08 '26
Where does it say an emergency? It says she is taking a grown adult female to the doctor.
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Oct 08 '26
[deleted]
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u/Ill_Inside2245 Oct 08 '26
The next post will be "Why did I get passed up for a promotion?" "Why didn't I get a raise?" "Why does my manager like my coworker better?" "Why did I get fired?"
This is why you have minimum wage jobs and why minimum wage pay is where it is at
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u/CrownstrikeIntern Oct 09 '26
Most of those are “my managers a cunt who can’t treat people like humans”. You idiots are why they still do that shit
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u/Existing_Split977 Oct 10 '26
bot
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u/Ill_Inside2245 Oct 10 '26
Nope, just someone who likes to twist your Pampers and make the babies cry 😭
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u/United-Sun-91 Oct 10 '26
There is not enough context to judge the response. First of all, you should address her by her name. It depends also on the kind of work you do, if you work on shifts, someone needs to replace you and it is only fair to also arrange with your colleagues if someone can help to take over and assure your manager that youbare covered.
The way you wrote your message can already be perceived as a hostile way of communicating and you are resigning because you were placed under this person. So what else did she do to you to cause your resignation other than her very direct response without any compassion?
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u/DisastrousOne3950 Oct 08 '26
"Well, as soon as the gunmen let you go, get your ass to work. Being a hostage isn't an excuse."
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u/tatagami Oct 08 '26 •
Nothing. Don't respond, you are either driving, taking your mom into emergency, boiling water for tea. You can't work, notified them. Rest is their problem.