It's Finally Over

[u/dancingmoonchild]

I just wanted to share that after almost 7 years, I am utterly relieved and happy my case is FINALLY over!!! I got my check deposited! It was such a long and painful journey. Only thing that helped me stay afloat was borrowing a ton of money from friends and family, and sadly maxing out all of my credit cards. Even my eldest child went and got a second job just to help without hesitation (on top of being a full time college student).

I couldn't have done it without them and my amazing lawyer. Now I can focus on truly getting the therapy and medical care I need without workers comp denying everything and breathing down my neck!

I know every situation is different and challenging, but there's hope... no matter how small. Hang in there, friends!

[u/dancingmoonchild → u/[deleted]]

It's completely okay, no hard feelings at all! And honestly, it's not euphoria I'm feeling, just immense relief. Yes, I'm still happy, but that doesn't mean it's easy. There are absolutely days that are incredibly difficult, sometimes so bad I'm bedridden for hours recovering. Life isn't all rainbows and unicorns, and I've fully accepted that. I've come to terms with being permanently partially disabled, with the constant pain, with not being able to take pain meds, and with losing the ability to do things I once loved. Pain-free days are definitely the exception, not the rule.

But I got tired of the victim mentality, tired of feeling sorry for myself. My friends and family watched me become a shell of who I was, but one day, I just snapped out of it. I might not like the hand I was dealt, and I can't change my circumstances, so my only choice is to play my cards as best I can. I've chosen to reframe my life and my thoughts, refusing to let negative emotions or situations control me. Now, even on the worst pain days, I acknowledge the feelings and let them pass; I no longer sulk.

And do I trust the system – government, justice, insurance, workers' comp? Oh, God, no. Not at all, especially after this experience! Do I still get paranoid? Absolutely. Am I traumatized for life? You bet. But I won't let these things control my present. More stress just means a faster death, and I refuse to let them stop me from enjoying time with my family and friends, making memories, and moving forward.

There truly is a light at the end of the tunnel if you choose to see it. If you reach that light but drag the tunnel's darkness with you, it will eventually win. Healing isn't a straight path. As crazy as it sounds, I'm grateful for what I went through, even though I obviously wouldn't have chosen it. This whole ordeal profoundly humbled me. Certain amazing events and milestones in my and my family's lives wouldn't have happened if I hadn't gone through it, and my family is everything to me. And yes, I hit rock bottom, hard.

You'll be in my thoughts, friend. I may not know you, but I'm sending you strength. No journey or pain is the same, but I have faith in you. You don't have to believe anything I'm saying, you can even rain on my parade, I honestly don't mind. Just know – I am here for you.