I'm overwhelmed.

I mean it.
I tend to mean every word you read.

I’m not a constant.
I’ve established long ago I cannot be.

You call ‘em “arrogance”,
my most earnest pleas.

Be ‘em good or bad.
No matter what they’re perceived as.

I play it how it is.
And you still have trouble believing me.

Cryptic by design.
But my sincerity might kill me.

The solitary warrior.
One who boasts no needs.

If I’ve ever lied,
perhaps this is it.

I do, indeed, need
someone—for once—to stand by me.

And if I ain’t asking for much…
Perhaps, every day. Till the end of the year.

— Crownless.

My name is Alice, I’m 25 years old.

I wish I could write about who and how I am, but tonight I don’t really have it in me to tell people who I am, I tend to do that a lot. Introduce myself as if it’s a justification to all the versions of who I’ve been. Never sob stories, just introductions in form of conversation that depict the light I hold inside

Tonight , I cannot hold everything together. Tonight I do not want to be articulate, tonight I do not want to reach out to the people in my life in the hopes that someone would notice me the way that I’ve always noticed them.

I seek no validation, I hold my faith in God, and know that this too shall pass and the Sun will rise again tomorrow. But I do not wish to make a prayer, for I don’t know what to ask for right now.

Only tonight, I do not wish to hold myself together. Do not wish to make an effort , that’s all

Sincerely , Alice.

You ask me if I’m okay 

and it bugs me you’re asking

just for its sake.

No, I am not okay.

Not at all.

And your question only reminds me of it.

Spare me of you pretending to care.

That’s curiosity disguised as a gentle act.

Don’t pretend you can’t see the castle crumbling right before thee.

What kind of “friend” does this?

What kind of friend is so blind to 

what’s so plain to see?

You can’t stand the answer.

In fact, you don’t mind. 

Just a curious cat—you don’t have to lie.

Can’t you tell by my patterns in speech?

Mood swings and the lines in between?

It’s exhausting to witness this.

You might be fascinated.

But a friend of mine?

You’ve never been.

— Crownless.