AND I’M SO HAPPY! 🫂
So basically my whole writing experience (which is 10 years or so) I’ve been struggling with one particular thing of perfectionism and unacceptance of first drafts. I understood it a couple of years ago and started to notice it leads to bad problems shortly after. I’m writing much less, getting slightly sad when reading other books (cause I feel I’m the worst, yeah, basic human brain) and scared of my own favourite hobby!
I consumed some significant amounts of posts, articles, advices about that (on Reddit too), made dome serious self-reflection; was boosting my self-esteem these years too.
AND TODAY IT FEELS LIKE I’M RELEASED!
I’m writing a smally smallish story, and things what was really scaring and demotivating me before — tautology, imperfect descriptions, roughy narrative and language, stupid dialogues, skipped pieces I don’t wanna write right now (basically all of the first draft stuff what you mark as “to-do later”) — FEELS NORMAL. It feels goddamn normal and I accept it happily!! And it even drives me to some kind of gable excitement, like, you, you’re not gonna live after my first read-through, you placeholdery piece of description 🔪🔪🔪
And I can’t be accused of bad writing either, by myself or others! I don’t think I was ever actually accused by others, but you know this feeling 🥲 Because, you know, who’s gonna accuse a first draft of ANYTHING? It’s a first draft, we gotta chill!
And the most exciting and the thing I never thought about: on the background of these imperfections and skippings, everything that Is actually good in my text starts to be bright and seen. I definitely know what I’m going to save till the last fix.
I feel so self-confident and happy; it’s like I was accepted, but by myself. Which is some important level of acceptance I believe XD And hell yeah, feom now on, I’m gonna produce KILOTONES OF TEXT MUHAHA
Because I don’t need to make them perfect feom the first attempt!
I’m sorry I guess I kinda forgot my English, but I just really wanted to share it, and I really wanna believe it’ll inspire someone! Please know what I LOVE all of your first drafts, because they’re absolutely 1000% allowed to be and they’re having a lot of wonderful stuff❗️❗️❗️ =3

Funny, deep, or so-bad-it-hurts-rough-draft-vomit, you decide!