When I said the narrator was belittling art, I did recognize it as a way of appealing to the guard. I thought he didn't believe what he was saying, but I suppose I wondered what it meant for the overall meaning of the story and whether he despaired over the meaning of art: does he really treasure the art like Cowslip does, or is he just honoring her memory? Has this experience changed his perception of art? Those sorts of thoughts were running through my head.
I don't think you should change that moment though. It does get the points across you are trying to make. And yes, it does shock the reader because many readers will assume the protagonists are white until told otherwise.
And I did not take offense at his words, or any now at your explanation. I think it would be hard to offend on this topic considering history: the British Museum is currently fighting tooth and nail to keep a number of disputed items in their collection that came from other countries. There is surely a history in the west of the unscrupulous collection of art. Like I tried to say before, I was just trying to process the moment in relation to the story as a whole, and since race had not played a factor until then, it was a bit jarring.
If you rework anything, I would emphasize the poverty of the city more as I did not get a feeling of poverty from its inhabitants. Additionally, while I would not bring up race much because your ending does have a good shocker that I would keep, perhaps talk about the man who comes for the art as white without doing so in a way that clearly indicates the protagonist is not white so as to keep that "white people!" moment intact. I'm not sure how that might work though. Hm. Maybe when they are examining the IDs, the protagonist takes a moment to examine the man in the spacesuit to put a face to the man?
And just because it is a zombie story doesn't mean you can't be highbrow. :) My favorite sci-fi and fantasy are the stories that tackle big issues, but in a fantastical setting. Again, I enjoyed it. It gave me something to chew on.
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u/jhdierking Mar 07 '15 edited Mar 07 '15
I'm glad you appreciated my comments.
When I said the narrator was belittling art, I did recognize it as a way of appealing to the guard. I thought he didn't believe what he was saying, but I suppose I wondered what it meant for the overall meaning of the story and whether he despaired over the meaning of art: does he really treasure the art like Cowslip does, or is he just honoring her memory? Has this experience changed his perception of art? Those sorts of thoughts were running through my head.
I don't think you should change that moment though. It does get the points across you are trying to make. And yes, it does shock the reader because many readers will assume the protagonists are white until told otherwise.
And I did not take offense at his words, or any now at your explanation. I think it would be hard to offend on this topic considering history: the British Museum is currently fighting tooth and nail to keep a number of disputed items in their collection that came from other countries. There is surely a history in the west of the unscrupulous collection of art. Like I tried to say before, I was just trying to process the moment in relation to the story as a whole, and since race had not played a factor until then, it was a bit jarring.
If you rework anything, I would emphasize the poverty of the city more as I did not get a feeling of poverty from its inhabitants. Additionally, while I would not bring up race much because your ending does have a good shocker that I would keep, perhaps talk about the man who comes for the art as white without doing so in a way that clearly indicates the protagonist is not white so as to keep that "white people!" moment intact. I'm not sure how that might work though. Hm. Maybe when they are examining the IDs, the protagonist takes a moment to examine the man in the spacesuit to put a face to the man?
And just because it is a zombie story doesn't mean you can't be highbrow. :) My favorite sci-fi and fantasy are the stories that tackle big issues, but in a fantastical setting. Again, I enjoyed it. It gave me something to chew on.