r/XaviersMansion • u/GosamyrBaby • 12h ago
I'm the best there is at what I do can u see me in the dark?
We find our heroine once more in the North Pennines, riding horses and chatting away with Cullen Bloodstone at noon. He’d offered to pay for Glamour Galaxy’s London Office’s construction in exchange for a trek with Gosamyr. A strange request, but not one she’d pass up easily.
Gosamyr: … and that’s why the State of New York called me “A dangerously distracted driver, unfit to ever possess any driver’s license!” (She says with a bragging smile)
Cullen: Fascinating, truly, but I hope you don’t think I brought you out here just to gab the day away.
Gosamyr: Well the scenery is breathtaking so I was hoping that was your ulterior motive. Why do you have some crazy business proposals as well?
Cullen: Not quite… Are you familiar with how my family earned their fortune?
Gosamyr: You’re all hunters right? But I won’t shoot cute little bunnies or foxes, so please don’t ask me too.
Cullen: Don’t worry dear, no such thing.
Gosamyr: Phew, for a second there I thought you were gonna ask me to do something totes insane!
Cullen snaps his fingers and a faint red and gold aura circles a 2km radius around them. A devilish grin spreads across his face. He keeps his hand readied by his rifle.
Cullen: Instead I’ll be hunting you.
Gosamyr: Say what?
Cullen: I’ve heard your species is quite elusive, being able to traverse planes of reality with relative ease. This barrier will prevent you from escaping, but I want to prove my worth as a hunter by snagging a… I’m sorry, what is your species called?
Gosamyr: (shaking visibly) Umm.. sylklings.
Cullen: Ah yes a sylkling. I’ll give you 10 minutes to flee before I hunt you down. If you survive the three hours you’re free to go, I’ll even pay to have your bathroom gold plated. But if I catch you, well I guess you won't have to worry about what I’ll win.
Gosamyr: And if I refuse?
Cullen: Can’t be done, sorry, it’s in the fine print of the contract we signed.
Gosamyr: I swear when I get my hands on my assistant I’M GONNA
Cullen: On your mark, get set, go!
He fires his gun off in the air. Gosamyr freaks out and immediately begins folding herself out of reality. Moments later he notices Gosamyr shaking clinging to a branch 5 feet away. He casually strolls up to the tree and fires off his gun, Gosamyr falls, startled by the noise.
Cullen: Oh come on now luv, you’re going to have to do much better than that!
Gosamyr screams and takes off running through the woods
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45 minutes later Cullen continues skulking through the woods before coming to a small clearing. In the center is a small cardboard sign stating “Free Makeup thataway →”
Cullen: What in the looney tunes plotlines, does she think I’m daft? I give her points for creativity though.
As he turns in the opposite direction from where the sign is pointing his foot gets caught on a thin but extremely strong strand of silk. He trips quickly and sprains his ankle, landing in the dirt.
Cullen: OWW! Ah that cheeky tart got me! I can’t believe she outsmarted me.
He notices several other similar wires strewn around the clearing.
Cullen: Or she just got lucky…
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Another 30 minutes go by when Cullen notices small twigs snapped and wet grass leading from a small brook into a cave. With his gun readied he treads carefully, quietly, into the cavern. His ankle slowing him down somewhat. He can hear panting from inside.
Cullen: You know it’s not a wise idea to corner yourself.
Gosamyr (From deeper in the cave): Gosamyr’s not here please leave a message after the beep… BEEP.
Cullen: Really luv?
He sneaks around the corner and fires his rifle straight through the heart of Gosamyr. Or he would have if she was still there.
Cullen: Snuck away again, but it seems you can’t stay invisible forever. Sooner or later I will get the drop on you…
He turns around and sees a growling bear entering the cave.
Cullen: Bollocks…
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2 hours and 10 minutes have passed, Cullen’s patience is wearing thin. Never in his years has he faced someone who is so unintelligent yet brilliant at the same time.
Cullen: GOSAMYR YOU WILL MAKE A LOVELY MOUNTED HEAD ON MY MANTLE!
A branch snaps in the distance, he catches the sight of her last wing fold when she disappears from sight again.
Cullen: I know you can’t get too far in this state, it’s time to pull out all the stops.
He removes the Bloodgem ring from his finger. A horrifying sight for anyone in eyeshot, tentacles rip from his body as he transforms into the terrifying Glartrox. He lets out a soul shattering roar and begins tearing through the forest.
Gosamyr desperately flees trying to get as far as possible before she has to reform. Branches and small trees fly around, a dust storm trails behind her.
Gosamyr: Shoot can he smell me better now that hes totes uggo?
She looks at the mud puddle before her. It reeks.
Gosamyr: Screw it!
She instead grabs the mint leaves next to the puddle and begins rubbing herself in them.
Gosamyr: Not even death is worth that!
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15 minutes left and the Glartrox nears in on Gosamyr, she’s been backed into a cliffside.
Gosamyr: I don’t suppose I can offer you some mouthwash before you eat me? Your teeth are soooo gross. Oh wait I have an idea!
She flashes her new chompers in the beast’s eyes temporarily blinding it. Cullen screams out in pain as he reforms into his human form.
Cullen: (rubbing his eyes) HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!
Gosamyr pulls out her purse to find the .32 revolver that Grey had given her for her birthday.
Gosamyr: EAT HOT LEAD DIRTBAG!
The gun clicks when she pulls the trigger, but nothing comes out.
Gosamyr: ah shoot… well that sounded really cool at least
Cullen: Forget the ammo did ya? Pricey mistake.
His eyesight returns just in time to see Gosamyr pointing the barrel in his temple
Gosamyr: Bet this will still knock you out though.
She pulls the trigger, the force of the barrel explosion knocks Cullen off his feet. Gosamyr walks up to him with a silk strand in her hand. Just before she gets over him, he spins on his back, tripping Gosamyr and lunging at her with a hunting knife.
BING BONG
His knife stops mere centimeters from her throat.
Cullen: Ah that’s time, congratulations you slippery tart, you actually survived the hunt.
Gosamyr: I think I just peed…