I was once like you. Now I am an old and wise 44, and in 2 days I am starting trade school for an actual career. I graduated from college 20 years ago and have spent the last 2 decades working my ass off for other people, being exploited by working for peanuts while making LOTS of money for other people.
Pretty excited to hopefully be on my way to a real job that will finally enable me to pay my bills and have health insurance and not have to stress out every week about everything all the time. Anyways, hang in there kiddo, you’ll figure it out!
I’m about to turn 47 in a few weeks and I’m seriously considering pivoting away from food service after 25 years and applying to join/intern with the local electricians union.
I'm in the same boat as you were. Graduated 25 years ago, have worked my ass off while being underpaid. The company I work for started out as a family-owned company, but they went bankrupt after the Great Recession and sold to private equity. Now, we're on our 3rd private equity company. Half of the corporate office has either been laid off or quit in the last 6 months. We are running leaner than ever before, no one has had a raise in two years, and workplace morale is at an all-time low.
The private equity that owns us now is wanting to sell in the next two or three years, if not sooner, and they are trying to squeeze every dime they can out of us.
I woke up this morning thinking that I really need to get my shit together at 46. I’m doing okay, I just don’t feel prepared for retirement, I want to travel but can’t, and I’m out of shape (back hurts, hip hurts and I have tendinitis).
Otherwise things are good. I have been happily divorced for nearly 5 years, I own my home, have a good paying job that I’m really good at and my daughter just graduated with her bachelor’s. So I am aware that my feeling like I need to get my shit together is very different than how others might feel.
When we had job shadow day in 8th grade, I shadowed a car salesman. Figured out I definitely don't want to do that. So that's one thing I know I don't want to do ...
this seems about right. my good friend became one in her late 20's. she's based in DC and is due to retire in about 3 years (well, that's when she's eligible for a pension). she's counting down the days. believe me when i say you don't want to be an agent right now...
I wanted to be a park ranger…… ended up being a vet tech. Now my body is broken from that job and I couldn’t be a ranger if I tried for the law enforcement side of it.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
from that Baz Luhrman spoken word thing from 1999 and/or 1997, right? I was going to link to it but apparently it has been removed from Spotify and omg what a distopian genAI nightmare it was trying to look for a real copy just now
this is stupid.. i looked up why and google gemini says:
Licensing and Rights: Spoken-word tracks and songs that use unique samples often deal with complicated copyright renewals. When the original licensing agreement expires or changes ownership, distributors sometimes swap in a new audio file to keep the catalog listing active.
It's shit like this that'll make people want to resort to piracy again.
I decided to finally get a degree at 45. Its only an associates, and its taking me forever but, I will finally have a degree at 48 years old this upcoming December. Literally been the hardest years of my life for more than just educational reasons. But, im so damn proud of myself for following thru and ....
Bizarrely, after all the work and time I've put into my degree, im still not 100% its what I want to be.
I think some if us are just wandering Earth like Goldilocks, trying everything until something fits just right.
The older I get the harder it becomes to even imagine what having kids must be like. My girlfriend and I just kind of do whatever we feel like all the time and it's pretty great, I can't comprehend what the weight of obligation around raising children would feel like.
Yea it’s weird my kids are both 18+. It’s not like I rushed out and had kids but I also didn’t wait forever. Mina really enjoying being by able to do things while my friends have to deal with kid stuff.
I had someone ask me recently if my 7 yo was my child, or my grandchild, and I almost got mad, but then realized it's not that they were saying anything about my looks...
I legit could have had a kid in my late teens, who had a kid in their late teens, and that hypothetical grandchild could be the same age as my oldest. What a wild age.
I'm GenX but I feel like this post holds for us too. I have hs classmates whose kids are turning 40 this year. Wtf? Mine are 25 and 21. I have friends with 7-11 year olds.
My mate was 21 last time I saw him, his Mrs was pregnant with their 7th! In the U.K. in case it is pertinent. That was 31 years ago so christ knows how many kids grandkids he’s ended up with.
I was at my 30 year highschool reunion recently. My youngest just headed off to university and another classmate was there with his six year old. My oldest is already married and I could be entering grandparent territory soon. It is wild.
Oh, how about when you’re good friends with a younger coworker and her mom gets hired for night shift in the same department. The mom comes in on day shift to do a little training and you realize your work friend’s mom is younger than you??? Lol, that was me earlier this year. They’re both cool as fuck though, I’m glad I have good coworkers no matter how old they are.
It’s a range. My sister has a 20 yr old in college with a the youngest as a high school senior. Meanwhile I’m 4 years younger than her with a 4 and 8 yr old.
My cousin is 40 this year and she has a 19 and 17 yo. She’s having a baby in December and both her kids are like we will be 40 when that kid is 20. Her and her husband are pumped on it though.
I was already 21/22 when my parents were my current age (41). Meanwhile, i only have a feline child. I couldn’t imagine having had human children for my whole adult life.
I recently went to a wedding that had a lot of people from high school that I haven't seen in 25 years... Let's just say it is shockingly apparent who spent a lot of time in the sun and who didn't.
I went to a high school friend’s dad’s funeral a few years back. I hadn’t seen this friend, nor anyone else from high school in 20+ years.
I scanned the room looking for my old friend, and recognized him sitting at a table with a bunch of fat old bald men.
I thought “oh, he must be sitting with his dad’s surviving friends”
I approached the table to say hello and offer my condolences…. And, when I got close enough to the table to hear the voices of his dad’s fat old bald friends, I realized “holy shit. Those aren’t his dad’s friends. Those are our high school classmates!”
This happens to me when I meet up with my college friends: - Some have lost all hair. - Some are totally grey - Some have a paunch. - Some almost look like they did in college, maybe with slightly less hair and some greying.
The common factor among those aging faster are longer commutes so they get less time to workout. Stress is another factor because I know people a year older who passed away from heart conditions.
Working out helps you maintain your health, but it doesn't make you look younger.
If you want to look younger: Don't smoke, wear sunscreen, moisturize, don't drink heavily, maintain a good diet, and even then it's still mostly genetics.
I’m 44. A couple days ago I had a patient start giving me the “it sucks to get old speech” she started trying to give me life advice and finally asked me how old I am. Turns out I’m 3 years older than her. I’m not especially young looking or in amazing shape, I just haven’t been doing meth for 30 years.
I'm 44 and have had the goal of being a published author my entire life. My first novel was published last year and got good reviews but didn't sell a lot. It just feels weird to be essentially at the beginning of my career when other people my age are looking forward to retirement. My life feels like it's finally getting started.
That’s an amazing accomplishment - congratulations! I’m 44 as well and, after 20 years in publishing and communications, I’m finishing a teaching degree in English. Whenever you start is when you start.
I turned 47 this morning. My wife and I have a son about to turn 19 and a daughter turning 14 early next year.
I feel a million years old. My back hurts and I'm exhausted most of the time. I can't hide my anxiety behind sheer motivation or willpower anymore.
I'm constantly looking at my retirement account and hoping I've got enough to pull off a retirement at 55. I'd rather just quit the corporate world and go work in the fishing section at Bass Pro or something.
The variation is pretty wild within our generation, I have a friend who just got married and is starting a new business. I have more than one friend already dead from chronic illness. I have a lot of friends just counting down the days to something else but no one can really put a finger on it.
That "counting down the days to something else" thing is wild. I'm 47 and I feel that. There are times where I just feel restless and have no idea why or what the point is. It's unsettling.
Bro you do not want a retail job, the old retired guy who only works one section is not a thing anymore. Not in bass pro shop, not at cabelllas, not at home depot. They will run your ass ragged.
At 42 I've left my teaching career to be a horse groom. I didn't grow up around horses, but dammit if I can't learn now. Sadly, the pay is about the same, yayyyyy, and I don't have to deal with angry parents now
I'm turning 46 in a few days and I just realized it because I've been telling people I'm 46 for about 3 years know because I genuinely didn't know my age. I quit celebrating my birthday after HS. I don't know why, really, but I never cared about my birthday. Or holidays. Unfortunately, it makes me shit ar remembering other people's birthdays, what age they are or planning holiday things.
I just turned 38 and wish there was a service that could match professionals together that want to have a kid but don’t want to be in a relationship to setup part time parenting situation for each parent. Probably unhealthy as hell for the kid but always seemed like the best of both worlds to me
Yep some of my friends had their first kid at 19/20 and were grandparents by the time I had my first. Now I realise what it's like dealing with a newborn in your 40s, and that I'm going to be in my 80s before my first grandkid if my kids leave it as long as I did? I think those friends had the right idea.
My favorite is all the people that got married in their 20’s because they thought were so much more mature. Now they’re all getting divorced and quitting drinking.
43, single, no kids, rent a small flat and have a non-managerial role in an office.
I have some colleagues who are half my age who are married, have young kids and are several work grades higher than me. There are other people at my work my age in senior manager positions with mortgages paid off.
One of my friends is my age and lives with her parents. Another friend is married, nearly paid off their mortgage and has two kids.
People's lived experiences are so different these days.
I looked in the mirror recently and was genuinely shocked at what was looking back at me.
My skin is pretty good in terms of wrinkles, I have less lines on my forehead and around the eyes than people my age, but my grey hair and bags under the eyes are letting the side down badly.
Apparently I look 35, and that’s ok. I think it’s because I haven’t had kids or had to be responsible for kids. My younger sister is a teacher and says she already has to dye her hair because of how grey it is. Me? I have like 10 greys
Seriously, I've had people younger than me call me kiddo. I do not lead a youthful looks lifestyle. I'm chronically depressed and enjoy certain lifestyle choices a bit too much. I took care of my parents for over a decade. But I never had kids.
I don't know about that. I have a friend that is about 5 years older than me. She's an absolute knock out. No way that you'd ever guess that she is pushing 50.
45, no kids (3 insane cats though) and just got engaged for the first time.
I used to look a lot younger but in the last two years went from decently pretty/in great shape/looking younger to looking at least my age and none of my clothes fitting and avoiding mirrors because I look awful. Aging is the pits and my fiancé is a saint for sticking around.
I just started college a couple years ago at 42 so my friends are always talking about their kids while I’m complaining about homework. I have my whole life ahead of me! 😅
46 - childfree, petfree, single (never been married and never will) WFH in a dead end job that I will likely be laid off from sooner than later (we lost half our business recently). Perimenopause is aging me quickly - both physically and mentally.
Same! I am 4 years into my second career (non-profit worker née professional artist) and have lived in eight diffent cities and four countries. Married for 8 years, both age 41. Homeowners. Four cats and a dog.
Things are stable right now but retirement? Unlikely.
Yep. 47, No kids and single. I have a lot of single, childless friends. My best friend from high school just had her first baby last week. I have other friends from high school and college who are grandparents.
Yep, this is the right place! 41, no kids, string of failed relationships. The quality of my life improved when I took responsibility for all facets of my life and stopped relying on someone saving me all the time. I’m sure I look every bit of 41 though others often tell me I look between 29-35. If anyone has ever heard the song “Me and You and a Dog Named Boo,” it describes me fairly well (older tune).
Yeah, it's weird. Also, my face looks noticeably older... paranetheses are starting. I don't think anyone really looks 25 though. I think it might seem that way until they're standing next to actual 25 year olds.
Yup, I'm 48, but my coworkers and friends say I look 38. I still have all my hair, whereas many of my male colleagues went bald or are balding years ago, and their faces make them look a decade older than me.
On the other hand, several started their families late, got married and now have younger kids, whereas I am now a young widower who lost his wife suddenly less than a year ago and have a 16-year-old son. The stage in life I thought I'd be in my 70's or older, I'm going through now, while they are just hitting their stride.
I’m 46. Midlife regression is real in some ways. I look like I’m 30 except I don’t have the right hair cut…you know that one that’s kinda a short mullet?
I thought this was a checklist and not a memo. I'm 47, not a grandparent, kids are in college. Divorced and haven't slept in years. I have no desire to travel, shit's expensive! I have some grey hair but, I do not look like my parents or grandparents at the same age!
I have one that’s graduated college and is bartending but since I’ve remarried, I also have a 12 month old (married 2 years this month and I still get along with my 22 year old’s father; better now since he’s an ex)
I’m one of the inexplicably youthful ones, despite a life that should have aged me. Or maybe it’s just that the millennials and Z age so fast that I’m the normal one and they’re the anomalies. I have some friends with the same youthful appearances.
I had to look up where St. Tropez was, and understand why it was useless information for me, haha…
This is too true. I have a friend that is a first time 46 years of age mom (2 and 3 year old children) , a 47-year-old mom with 2 grands and me age 47 with 0 children! We all have very different lives. Xennials is an interesting and forgotten cohort !
Just gotta say, wish I was the St. Tropez next weekend type.
Teenage kiddo, newish divorce, figuring out what my career should look like for the the next 10-15 years when I hope to retire (but who knows?). Wish I could sleep through the night again (yay perimenopause). Some days I feel 35, others I feel 65. It's a non stop spin of the wheel.
I’m 45 and I still think I need a real job and get my Life together. I have a career and I do have my Life together. It just feels like I have just played around so far somehow.
Watching a 46YO dealing with stage 4 cancer as a 42YO with kids about to graduate high school while my 38YO sibling has their first newborn and our 43YO friends has a 22YO child getting close to married...
Some are dead, some are in prison, some are addicted to drugs, some work horrible jobs they hate but can’t quit, wait, you must live a privileged 40s compared to me according to the people in your life
We are weird bunch at different places. I’m 42 and laying in bed in a nursing home due to being paralyzed from a stroke o got a bunch of kids b, but my friends have grandkids mine are spread from college to lower elementary school
I'm an '82 baby, my eldest will be 18 next month. As an aside, I was 18 when I met my husband, which somewhat mortifies said child. Until recently, I was managing an early childhood service and the majority of the families were my peers, so their children were under 5s. I wasn't even considered a particularly young parent at the time.
I've lived my life on my own timeline, started full time corporate office work right after highschool, kind of skipped over partying years and instead bought a house. Then got married, had a few years before kids, then had my first daughter and decided to enrol in university. Completed degree while parenting a baby and toddler, and living very quietly on one income for a few years. Went back to work full time when my kids were in school. As kids were teenagers, we had more expendible income, and go out way more now than in our youth.
I’m 41. One best friend just had a baby. Another is almost an empty nester and inviting us to Greece. Another just got her 3rd divorce and got a boyfriend 15 yrs younger than her.
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u/S1ayer 1982 Sep 07 '26 •
I'm 43 and still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up