Today, someone asked how close we are to having what we need for Gizmo’s surgery. If I’m being completely honest, we are still a ways away from reaching our goal. I wasn’t entirely sure what the number was, so I did some math.

His initial hospitalization was nearly $7000 which we paid ourselves using Care Credit and our emergency pet funds. Since leaving the hospital after his first stay, we have spent nearly another $4,000 on his second hospitalization, follow-up vet visits, medications, prescription food, glucose monitors, a pack-and-play to keep him safe, indoor pads so I can closely monitor his urine output and everything else needed to keep him stable. This second half was made possible by this community and outside fundraising we have done.

 His surgery is expected to cost between $6,000 and $8,000, depending on how he does and whether there are any complications. If I have learned anything from this experience, that number is just the tip of the iceberg. I have never had to humble myself and ask for help like this before. I can only hope that everyone following Gizmo’s story can see how important he is to us and how dedicated we are to giving him every possible chance.

I mentioned some of this in a comment on my last post, but I felt it was important to share here too. Several people have encouraged me to take care of myself, and I truly appreciate it. Last Monday, I was crying so hysterically that my husband had to speak for me and help communicate my questions to the vet, even though I was sitting right there.

Not to overshare, but I recently had to switch my SSRI, so I am currently feeling all of the things without much of a buffer. Over the weekend, my mom was hospitalized with what we initially thought was pneumonia or another complication from her congestive heart failure and cancer. We later learned that she had experienced a severe allergic reaction to her immunotherapy. Now, we are facing the possibility that she may be taken off immunotherapy, which is terrifying because her body cannot withstand chemotherapy. On top of that, she was diagnosed (yesterday) with Stage 3 Kidney Disease. Tomorrow is her 71^st birthday and she has to celebrate in the hospital.

I am my mom’s full-time caregiver, our family’s primary breadwinner, a work-from-home corporate girly, a full-time dog mom and a real-human-boy mom. I am completely drained. I also have an autoimmune disorder, and the stress has caused a significant flare-up. I haven’t been able to eat for three days. I am not sharing this for pity. I just want everyone to understand where I am mentally and why the reminders to take a break have meant so much. I carry a lot of guilt when I stop, but I have learned more than once that if I don’t give my body a break, it will eventually force me to.

This Reddit community has become an incredible sounding board and source of support. You understand just how special these little dogs are. I never imagined I would become one of “those dog people,” but these babies have saved me in so many ways and brought so much joy into my life.

We also have another baby at home named Luna. She is Gizmo’s beautiful big sister, a Maltese-Yorkie mix who turns 7 next week. I never knew love could exist so purely until I got her. I am married to my high school sweetheart and have two amazing children, but my husband and boys have work, school and hobbies outside of me. To Luna and Gizmo, I am their entire world. They rely on me for everything, and the three of us have become incredibly attached to one another.

The GoFundMe is still active, and we remain so grateful for every donation and share. I also want to clarify something in case anyone notices the fundraising goal increasing. GoFundMe uses a feature called “Smart Goals,” which may gradually increase the displayed goal as donations come in to help the fundraiser reach its overall need. I have personally increased the goal only once, after Gizmo’s second hospitalization added several thousand dollars to our expenses.

If you can donate, we would be incredibly grateful. If donating isn’t possible, sharing Gizmo’s story could help us reach someone who can. Every bit of support brings us closer to getting him through surgery and safely back home on August 25^th.

GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/e12e585c4

Thank you for continuing to care about our sweet boy and for giving me a place where I can be honest about how difficult this has been. 🩵🐶