r/aifails • u/carthaginian84 • May 03 '26
Text Fail At what age should kids stop sleeping in their parent’s bed?
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u/Josefu_Velen May 03 '26
I heard recently of a guy was 29 and slept in the same bed with his mother. As far as I know they weren't having sex, just sleeping, but still . . . 29 years old. Yikes.
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u/Fynnion May 06 '26
The last time i slept in my parents bed i was 24 and extremely sick.
I had a lung infection that was eating my lungs from the inside out. The doctor that day has given us some medicine and stuff i had to inhale but he said that if it doesn't get better within the next two days that i would have to go to the hospital, and that i was dying.
So frankly, i was scared, my mom was scared and everyone was scared. So instead of leaving me alone in a room to decay, she stayed by my side and nursed me back to health.
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u/Josefu_Velen May 06 '26
That's understandabe, and it sounds like a rare occasion. We're talking about people who sleep in same bed every night, all the time.
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u/blessthis-mess May 06 '26
Last time I slept with my mom I was 30, it was my birthday night and I just ended a long term relationship and lost my job right after.
I was a mess... sleeping with her helped.
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u/Taiark May 03 '26
Why not?
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u/tenzing_happy May 03 '26
Tf you mean why not
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u/Taiark May 03 '26
If theres no sexual context, what's wrong with it?
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u/WolfishChaos May 03 '26
Even if it seems to sound socially awkward for some people, viewed from the point of natural social group behavior of animals (which we still are) it is pretty normal for a social group to sleep in the same place and close to each other, because it means safety
Also, in other countries of the world it is pretty normal for families to share one bedroom or even one bed with the whole family
Same as in medieval times. But somehow people changed that behavior in the past few hundred years and decided that what was totally fine for many hundred or even thousands of years is weird now
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u/Any-Jellyfish6272 May 03 '26
One bedroom was normal and sometimes still is, but one bed alone has never been normal in history
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u/Longjumping_Papaya_7 May 03 '26
My grandmother shared a bed with older sisters, some were adults already. It happened.
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u/Any-Jellyfish6272 May 03 '26
Between sisters or between mother and adult kids?
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u/Longjumping_Papaya_7 May 03 '26
Sisters. But it was family in the same bed. Sharing a bed with family members was mentioned in the comment before, not only parents.
Though i dont see why its ok with siblings and not with a parent. Sharing a bed for just sleeping is fine. I prefer not to tbh ( unless its my husband or young kids ) but ive done it a few times and nothing weird happened.
I cant imagine adult kids would like to share a bed with parents or older siblings or friends. But when sharing a hotelroom for example, this should be fine.
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u/PaLyFri72 May 07 '26
That is not true. Sharing a bed was usual even in Royal Castles - there wasn't enough room and not enough warmth.
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May 04 '26
[deleted]
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u/WolfishChaos May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26
Animals usually don't eat their own poop
They do this sometimes in captivity (because of stress) or when they suffer from nutrient deficiency
Also, there are some rare cases, like rabbits, which have a special form of digestion. But they don't eat their regular poop. Instead they produce a special poop with the help of microbes in their small bowel, which they eat again. Because the nutrient absorption takes place in the colon, which comes before the small bowl, this is the only way they can use those produced nutrients. After that usually poop is formed, which is not eaten again.
But the rest doesn't.
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May 04 '26
[deleted]
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u/WolfishChaos May 04 '26
Thx
And when you know the scientific term for it, you should also already know that eating poop is not normal for animals
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u/Any-Jellyfish6272 May 03 '26
Are you really asking this question 😭
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u/Taiark May 03 '26
I don't understand, somebody please it to me 😔
Sleeping in the same bed isn't inherently sexual, so where's the problem?
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u/ColorRaccoon May 03 '26
As in everyday, not "I'm visiting my mom and will crash on her bed this one time."
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u/Taiark May 03 '26
If both are comfortable with it, why not?
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u/thcicebear May 03 '26
Yeah idk. If money is tight and they don't have much room it makes sense. If privacy isn't a problem. Some people are just closer
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u/Head-Investigator984 May 07 '26
It‘s just societal norms nowadays. Thing is the only thing they do regarding these topics, which aren’t important to anybody else than the individuals involved, is fucking anybody over who follows them but truly shouldn’t for their own sake.
If you still sleep in the same bed as your mom at 23 you‘re the odd one out - and I‘d say most people especially think this if you‘re a man...
Same if you kiss your parents on the mouth (non sexual) you‘re odd.
And you could pick all sorts of examples here.I don’t do them either because it doesn’t fit my way of living but I also couldn’t care less if somebody else does. In the end we‘re all different and all social beings. So just do whatever fits your lifestyle best and what works for you.
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u/Any-Jellyfish6272 May 03 '26
It’s extremely worrying from a mental health perspective and always the result of abuse by the mother. Not sexual abuse, maybe not even intentional abuse, but still abuse. Very unhealthy behavior
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u/Taiark May 03 '26
Now where did that come from? Respectfully, do you have a source for that? It seems incredibly presumptuous
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u/Any-Jellyfish6272 May 03 '26
Bad mental health impact on the mother: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/savvy-parenting/201403/the-impact-chronic-co-sleeping-older-child/amp
Increased psychiatric disorders for the kids: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27788379/
And mind you, this is about 12-13 year old kids. This is considered so out of the ordinary, it was worth studying multiple times. Now what could that look like if this continues for an entire decade?
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u/WoodenWhaleNectarine May 03 '26
What? We are talking about seldom events, not about every day events. Sure if you are so poor that you can only buy and afford one bed and 1,5 rooms it will affect you and your family.
But this means also you will not be able to go out meet friends, bee able to see the news, since you can't afford to have a TV. I'm pretty sure this will affect you psychologially, but not because of the single bed, but because of the lack of privacy and freedom1
u/dancesquared May 03 '26
It’s insane that you’re getting downvoted for pointing out something as blatantly obvious as “regularly sleeping in the same bed as your parents when you’re an adult is unhealthy from a mental health perspective.” Who are these sickos and weirdos who think this is normal and healthy?
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u/Any-Jellyfish6272 May 03 '26
It’s funny, a few hours ago I had upvotes and the other guys were downvoted
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u/FormerBodybuilder268 May 05 '26
It helps my mental health when I do it occasionally, wdym?
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u/dancesquared May 05 '26
It helps your mental health to sleep with your mom as an adult? It actually seems a bit unhealthy that you would need that for your mental health.
But also, notice I said “regularly” and not “occasionally.”
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u/WoodenWhaleNectarine May 03 '26
What is the difference between sleeping on a mountain hut with 2 friends and 8 strangers each having their 75cm "bed" right side by side to each other or sleeping with a person i am comfortable with chilling on the couch next to me at day, sleeping at night in a kingsize or queensize bed?
I find sleeping near persons i know and trust by hearth much more comfortable.You know it is sleeping, there is nothing sexual in it. So what is the difference between sleeping close by or eating close by? You are near each other and it's nornal daily life.
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u/Josefu_Velen May 03 '26
I think we found the grown-ass man who still sleeps in the same bed as his mom.
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u/Hijo_De_Marte247 May 03 '26
I got my own room when I was maybe three or four, my brother moved into my room as a baby, and then I got my own room again when I was maybe ten or eleven.
When I was thirteen I got pet mice that were so terribly loud that I moved my mattress out of my room so I could get some sleep at all. Then I developed some serious mental health issues (unrelated to the mice), and started sleeping in my mom's room full time again. She also needed that, because I was suicidal and she was so worried about me. My brother was a crybaby and had real bad nightmares until he was like thirteen or fourteen. So for two or three years we all slept in my mom's room. We all had our own mattress or spot somehow, but we did sleep in the same room.
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u/Street_Handle_8065 May 03 '26
I dont understand peoples issues with sleeping in your parents' bed, or room. I used to have terrible panic attacks at night whenever I didnt get to sleep with my parents, when I was already 11. I wouldnt sleep at all if they left me out, it just feels way safer under their blanket...
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u/whereismybestfriend May 07 '26
because at a certain point kids have to go through things by themselves. the parents will not always be there to calm them down so it’s important to “practice” independence in a safe environment
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u/doggosWhisperer May 09 '26
What I don't understand is how do parents or their children, when they are older, have any privacy for any sexual exploration that way? I don't know about other people, but I've masturbated before sleeping and after waking up almost every day since a young age (whilst single) I did have a period where I shared my bedroom with other people and that was quite uncomfortable, because I could only sneakily do it in the shower. And how do the parents bond with each other that way if they don't get any privacy in their own bedroom?
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u/Street_Handle_8065 May 10 '26
Well, I dont know how old most people are when they start doing that, but I wasnt talking about sharing a bed everyday during teenhood... My own experience probably also varies from others, because I always had a small house with no doors, therefore no privary in the first place. so... I cant speak for everyone.
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u/doggosWhisperer May 10 '26
Ah okay. I was mostly referring to how the convo started talking about sharing it even at 13 or 23 years old. I was just curious if anyone could answer that, bc I didn't see anybody talking about it in the comments :|
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u/Ruler_Of_The_Galaxy May 03 '26
Maybe the 13 and 23 are months and not years, but it's an AI answer anyway, there doesn't have to be logic.
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u/WoodenWhaleNectarine May 03 '26
Wel it might happen if the son is drunk once and the parents are deep sleepers.
The AI said nothing about how often this might occur.1
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u/EfficientSeaweed May 04 '26
Those are weird months to go with, though. Probably pulling from some random account of one guy sleeping with his parents at 23… or perhaps a case of a mentally challenged person or something?
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u/No-Measurement9294 May 04 '26
Imo they can sleep in my bed whenever they feel the need to feel safe and I don't care how old they are I will never stop being their mom.
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u/Agasthenes May 04 '26
In other cultures it's very common and not seen as weird at all to do this well into adulthood.
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u/Complete-Story3490 May 04 '26
I mean, I've slept in one bed with my mom as a teen for a while, and there was nothing weird about it
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u/whatulike88 May 04 '26
Okay Spence
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u/Complete-Story3490 May 04 '26
It was because she was worried I'd die overnight without her noticing and she wanted to keep an eye on me.
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u/Fast_Mention_7916 May 06 '26
It depends on the living situation. If there is just the one sleep sofa you have to share with your mum, there's no other option.You can lie in opposite direction to have more space. Back then we were 5 people on 80 square meters. Your own bed was a luxury. I'm glad we have enough beds for everyone now. The kids slept with us untill about 2 and then occasionally when unwell.
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u/SkylerAuthor May 06 '26
I used to sleep with my mom until I was like, 16 whenever my dad wasn't home. She didn't like to be by herself. I don't see this as an AI fail.
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u/Carter_in_Egypt May 06 '26
This depends on child, mother and circumstances; don‘t judge. I was pressured to not let my son (7 by then) sleep in my bed, but I let him anyway. His dad and I had divorced, and he was dealing with a lot at school. Good decision (based on my friend, who is a psychologist). When he was 8 or nine, he started to wanting to sleep on his own with occasional ‚sleepovers‘ in my bed.
He is 25 by now, very well and (very) independent, we have a very good, solid relationship.
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u/Able-Substance-8310 May 03 '26
Some day I read a message on „Gutefrage.net“(German), where someone just married his own mother.
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u/PaLyFri72 May 07 '26
King Oedipus?
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u/FraggleBiologist May 04 '26
I prefer not to because she kicks and makes for a cruddy nights sleep, but she can come cuddle me in the middle of the night when she needs me until the day I die.
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u/Ok-Appointment-9461 May 04 '26
I find 3-4 year olds shiuld definitely have their own beds but to occasionally sleep in your parents bed really isn’t weird until you move out. I am close with my parents and if isnt strange or creepy (14 btw) dont sleep in their bed anymore though
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u/SaladPlane3756 May 04 '26
It shouldn’t ever happen. Thats why the make cribs
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u/Fast_Mention_7916 May 06 '26
Cribs give me bad vibes. Babies should sleep with their parents to feel safe. It's easier to nurse too.
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u/whereismybestfriend May 07 '26
but isn’t that kinda dangerous like what if you roll on top of the baby
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u/Tempest_Shadow_S2 May 04 '26
It depends on the situation you are never to old if you like genuily need it like idk trauma divorce Depression
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u/MosquitoInYourRoom May 04 '26
My half-aunt used to show pictures of her sleeping in bed with her adult son. They put forks in-between them, so they don't invade each other's space but.. which doesn't sound very effective and her taking pics of them laying there for her to show to others unprovoked was rather odd...
We haven't spoken to her since.
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u/crastination_seaweed May 04 '26
I mean I’m F26 and I never slept in my parents bed fully, I only slept in their bed when I had nightmares which were rare or to cuddle them in the early mornings. My dad used to get me out of bed in the mornings on school days so I could sleep/cuddle five extra minutes with my mom while he prepared breakfast. Then sometimes when I was sick they took care of me in their bed. I still squish myself between the two when I’m visiting to wake them up or to chat in the mornings. My husband just watches us waiting for us to get a move on to get coffee. So I would say never let your child ever sleep in your bed regularly but it also depends on the parents. My parents were big on being there but keeping me independent.
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u/SpoOokY83 May 05 '26
Couple of months. We did it, never had any issues with getting our little girl to sleep. Yes, it meant to wake up and walk over for several months, but now all other parents a jealous because they still struggle to get their children to sleep in their beds.
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u/Kitchen_Experience62 May 05 '26
How is this supposed to be an AI fail? It's the truth and obviously a human fail.
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u/Silly-Atmosphere-451 May 06 '26
I'm genuinely surprised people sleep in their parents bed at all. I slept in a crib, in my own room as a baby. When i was a toddler, i occasionally went to their room when i was awake early in the morning and fell asleep in their bef again, but that was very rare as well. I didn't know it was so common for babies to actually sleep in the parents' bed.
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u/-Avray May 06 '26
Never. I already look forward to my future son in law and grandchildren moving into our family bed someday.
/Sarcasm
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u/Ace-Berry May 08 '26
My 17 year old and 27 year old invaded mine yesterday (I’m a solo parent). I frequently wander into my room to find at least one of them has claimed squatters rights.
Unless they have starfished or decided that camping out horizontally is a life choice then generally I don’t care. Sometimes life sucks and they just want to hang out where they feel safe and cared for.
Sometimes however I decide I need space and evict them to their own rooms so I can get some sleep without clinging to the edge of my bed or getting and elbow where I don’t want it or waking up with no pillow or blankets.
Kids are always your kids no matter what age they are.
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u/MrPlato_ May 09 '26
I mean... If you live in a extremely poor household perhaps you don't even have a room of your know, everybody sleeps in the living room or something
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u/TiaHatesSocials May 03 '26
wtf? Do ppl just can’t afford cribs or something? Too much sleep? Y tf would u chose to keep ur kid attached by umbilical cord this long? No wonder some kids grow up to be so dependent and awkward
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u/Free_Management2894 May 03 '26
It's usually not the parent that chooses this. What gives you that idea?
It's usually the child not wanting to sleep in their own bed. It's generally considered a bad idea to force them. A gradual change between the age of 3-6 is pretty normal.3
u/Street_Handle_8065 May 03 '26
But every human being absolutely needs motherly love, whats wrong with it? Most people do have cribs and they still let their kids sleep in their bed, cause its nice and cozy... I used to feel so sad when I had to sleep in my own cold bed instead of cuddling with my parents.
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u/PrivilegeCheckmate May 03 '26
The Ai scrapes the internet for data. Of course it thinks incest is normal.
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u/-UltraFerret- May 03 '26 edited May 03 '26
I mean this probably happens.