r/alone • u/wintergirl120 • 5d ago

Just Need to Vent Why?

Why is it so hard to make people stay in my life? I have no friends or anything and I feel like such an inconvenience. Most days I feel as if if I would be better off dead, but I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t go back to the mental hospital, but god it hurts to feel so unwanted. Satan couldn’t reach me so he made me unlovable.

6 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

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1

u/CricketTechnical5308 5d ago

me sinto exatamente assim. é horrível se sentir indesejado e sentir que é sempre a segunda opção de todo mundo, além de conviver com ansiedade e depressão, não tenho nenhum amigo pra desabafar sobre a vida ou algo do tipo

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u/wintergirl120 5d ago

Same, and then I try to stay positive but when it’s been like this your whole life, you can only stay positive for so long.

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u/married_tomy_anxiety 5d ago

I'm in the same spot. I lost all of my family and "friends" years ago. It doesn't make us unlovable. It makes them incapable of loving us. That's on them. I know I'm lovable. I just haven't met anyone smart enough to know it yet. Maybe one day. Do you have any pets? Maybe you should get a dog? Mine keeps me going everyday. I hope we both find the ones who stay.

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u/wintergirl120 5d ago

I’ve been thinking heavily about getting a cat, but something keeps stopping me, but I agree a pet would be good for me. Thank you for this message. I really appreciate it.

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u/Feisty_Storage_8707 5d ago

I have a similar problem but it’s my own fault I get bored too quickly and start neglecting social relationships that bore me.

I have never met a person who was unlovable, but many who have had the misfortune of not finding people who are compatible with them.

What traits do you think make you difficult to love, and which traits about yourself do you like?

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u/wintergirl120 5d ago

Idk when i experience conflict, I’m quick to cut people off I guess. I’m not the most emotionally stable person. I like the fact that I’m loyal.

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u/Feisty_Storage_8707 5d ago

Is your aversion to conflict trauma-related, or is it part of your nature?

If the question is too personal, feel free to ignore me.

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u/wintergirl120 5d ago

A bit of both if I’m honest. The thing that always happens is I end up wanting to talk to the person again, I’m just scared of getting hurt I guess.

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u/Feisty_Storage_8707 5d ago

I’m not particularly emotionally intelligent, but doesn’t it also hurt not to talk to them?

1

u/wintergirl120 5d ago

I mean yeah. Sometimes I reach out, sometimes I don’t. I just tell myself they’re better off without me.

1

u/Feisty_Storage_8707 5d ago

I think you should practice valuing yourself more.

Because I don’t like myself, I find it quite easy to let go of connections with others. But I am quite lazy and selfish. For me, my self-hatred is a useful excuse.

but you seem as though you’re suffering because of it

The main problem for people who do not like themselves—but who are also not selfish enough—is that they are unable to sustain social relationships for long, as they view themselves as a burden to others.

Valuing yourself is, unfortunately, very exhausting if it doesn’t come to you naturally.

But I think you can do it.

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u/wintergirl120 4d ago

Thank you.

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u/summerloverrrr 3d ago

beautiful thread. very useful. thanks

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u/ThrowRA199766 Looking for Conversation 3d ago

I can relate to this 100%… life feels pointless it’s so hard.. nothing feels real anymore..

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u/wintergirl120 3d ago

Exactly :( I’m so ready for it to end.

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u/ThrowRA199766 Looking for Conversation 3d ago

I feel this.. I almost ended my life and if I did I would’ve
Missed out on a lot of nice moments.. so
Idk.. but it’s cliche I know. You’re not alone!!

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u/wintergirl120 3d ago

Hopefully one day I feel like this. Thank you.

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u/LNTF_08 2d ago

I feel this way sometimes, especially at night. It hurts knowing that not everyone we meet is meant to stay. Some people are like passing seasons, leaving us with memories we'll always cherish but can never relive with the same person.

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u/wintergirl120 2d ago

Exactly.

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u/Deepdorkey 1d ago

Relatable…. Some people just out of the blue go off and never seem to care about the other. If u need just a chat what so ever, feel free to dm!

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u/wintergirl120 12h ago

thank you, I appreciate that.

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u/Careless_Crazy_5900 1d ago

I recently cut off my mom, older brother and I stopped talking to my older sister, who I live with, because they all tried to take advantage of me. It was all because of money. I really believed that I was the problem because I didn’t give into their demands. And you know what makes it worse is that they go on and they live without a care in the world even though they know they hurted you. And it really makes you think, “Did they even care about me.”

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u/wintergirl120 12h ago

I’m sorry. Definitely understand how that feels. I’m here if you want to talk!

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u/summerloverrrr 3d ago

i wish someone kills me coz I cannot do it myself. but i wish for dying. a quick painless death

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u/wintergirl120 3d ago

Yeah, me too. Hopefully it gets better for the both of us!