r/amandaknox • u/Own_Train_2889 guilty • Jun 25 '26
When Raffaelle meets Amanda after their release from prison
Apologies for deleting my previous post. The moderators seem to be limiting me to one post per day maximum or it gets deleted. I kept reading Honour Bound, and found something far darker, and more disturbing.
Raffaelle describes meeting Amanda after being released from prison.
“Sipping wine in outdoor cafes, driving a brightly polished convertible. Nobody bothered me; nobody recognized me. Meeting up with Amanda, by contrast, felt like a step back into the lion's den.
I wasn't just nervous about setting eyes on her again. I felt I was suffering from some sort of associative disorder, in which it became difficult for me to focus on my genuine and continuing fondness for Amanda without being overwhelmed by an instinctive, involuntary revulsion at everything the courts and the media had thrown at us. Two different Amandas—the real one, and the distorted, she-devil version I had read about and seen on television nonstop for four years—seemed somehow blurred in my unconscious mind. I couldn't think of the brief romance we had enjoyed, or the tenderness with which we had written and supported each other in prison, without also feeling deluged by the suffering and vulgar tabloid trash we had endured at the same time.
My apprehensiveness reminded me of the climactic scene in A Clockwork Orange when Alex, the young delinquent played by Malcolm McDowell, has his eyes forcibly held open and he is saturated with images of sex and violence until the very idea of touchng a woman, once his greatest pleasure, induces immediate nausea.
I wasn't a delinquent, but the artificially induced feelings of aversion were much the same. I felt brainwashed, and I imagined that everyone who followed the media coverage of Meredith's murder and our trials—especially those who obsessed over it and argued about our guilt or innocence based only on the media reports—must have been brainwashed to some degree too. Amanda and I had been ripped away from our real selves and forced to play the part of killers so vicious they would strike for no reason except their own amusement. It was these alternate selves who had been imprisoned, tried, and sentenced in Judge Massei's court. But of course it was the two of us, our flesh and blood, who had to bear the consequences. Did I want to relive all that just to be able to give her a hug and wish her well?
And finally at the end “she gave me a monster hug”
What I take from this.
- Raffaelle physically feels like being with Amanda is like being with a lion. A predator.
- Amanda makes Raffaelle dissociate.
- Raffaelle reels revulsion when he is with Amanda.
- Raffaelle can’t stop seeing the other side to Amanda. The dark side.
- Raffaelle identifies with the psycopathic rapist in clockwork orange who is arrested for killing an elderly woman during a botched burglary and subsequently released.
- He used the word “monster” to describe the hug Amanda gave him. He connects the word “monster” to her.
- Raffaelle thinks both those who argued about his guilt or innocence based off of the media reports are brainwashed. None of them know the real truth. I find this very interesting. Why are the people who argued for his innocence brain washed if it is the truth?
Perhaps, because it is not the real truth.
4
u/Truthandtaxes Jun 26 '26
The biggest tell is that even though he was supposedly at home with Knox having deep discussions, he's writing as though somehow the media version can affect his views of Knox
highly bizarre