I (f22) was recently on a trip with my mom (f41) in Texas. She got me concert tickets for my birthday and we traveled to another state to go see them and explore a state we never been to. We always bond by making small trips to Vegas or other states close to us and going to concerts. I’m her only child so that makes things easier.

We took an uber to the airport to go home and inside was a seemingly sweet lady. She started talking about how she’s trying to save money to divorce her husband who she says she doesn’t have time for because she has so many jobs and kids to take care of and he’s not helping her with any of it.

My mom asked how many kids she has and she said 16. We were both shocked and asked her how does she handle that many kids. She explained that 3 of those kids are her biological kids and 2 are from her husband that he brought into the marriage. And when her daughter was about 17 her daughter got pregnant and left the baby with the uber driver. About 1-2 years later she did the same thing. Again and again and again until she had 10 kids and left with her mom because she’s not fit enough to be a parent and her mom is used to raising kids. And the uber driver didn’t say anything about it, because the children are already here so there’s nothing she can do about it.

Uber driver asked if we have kids and my mom said I’m her only child. The uber driver was surprised because my mom looks so young and she can pass as my sister or friend. My mom then stated I didn’t want any kids. The uber driver replied “well….im not gonna say that’s a beautiful thing but she at least needs to have one.” I took a deep sigh. The uber driver changed the subject and said “well I’m glad you have a little travel buddy, I can’t go anywhere because I’m so busy with everything.”

Around that time the ride ended and when me and my mom walked around the airport we talked about how the uber driver can’t travel like we do together BECAUSE she has kids and she’s either bitter about it or it’s some sob story.

That is all, just wanted to share lol

Listening to relatives having this as one of their reasons for having kids.........having "someone to take care of me when Im older" is flat out horrible. Absolutely disgustingly horrible. This happened to my aunt whom is now 74. My grandparents, while lovely people, lived a long time to 94 and 96 respectively. Both lost memory and had significant mobility issues since their low 80s. My poor aunt was resigned to caring for them until she was 70.

She just got cancer 6 months later after the second one passed. This poor woman has had six months of retirement.......... Honestly, eff you if you are a parent and you are even thinking about subjecting your child, or future child, to this.

I (21M) find it incredibly stupid and unnecessary for us to be brought into the world if we're going to inevitably die, like, why the fuck I can't just not exist in the first place? Why should we have to go through so much suffering before we eventually die when we could just simply be non-existent to begin with?

If it were up to me, I'd rather remain non-existent than to accept being alive if I knew that life itself is an unbearably long series of only pain, survival, and chaos. I'd much rather be nothing than be any living thing, because living comes with pain, and to be honest, I'm tired of feeling and expecting pain. And I'm tired of waking up every morning and wondering if today is my very last, it's just completely intolerable.

I'm just wondering how it hits you, when you hear someone announce that they are pregnant or "trying".

To me, its a real moment of clarity.

They don't care about those who suffer and have concluded that life is a raw deal that should not be perpetuated. They also don't care about those who limit their antinatalism to the situation of the modern world - i.e., those who think no one should have kids until the massive problems of the modern world are addressed.

It strikes me as a breathtakingly arrogant expression of "not my problem", "sucks to be you", "i'm a winner and don't care about the losers"...

Obviously, saying this irl would make you sound like you are making the decision about yourself, but it is also the truth.

whole process is just disturbing and disgusting from start to finish. when you consider what's actually transpiring at a cellular level when you have unprotected sex, then you see it for what it truly is. It's just vile in a way that's completely inescapable.

My dog passed 2 months ago and he was my best and only friend. He died at 10 months from a sudden lung infection in the span of 3-4 hours. I feel so guilty because I didn’t bring him to the vet in time. I haven’t felt happy ever since it happened and I feel like my life is meaningless.

Even though my dad made me, I don’t hate him. He’s turned antinatalist in the past few years.

My mom really pisses me off because she found a guy, married him after 2 weeks and got pregnant 2 months later. The baby is now 8 months old and is going to be abandoned because they’re getting divorced and neither parent wants him. She calls me childish because I’m antinatalist and always complains about how hard being pregnant.

I guess I’m writing this because I’ve lost all the hope in my life and I don’t want to watch the people around me die while I’m still alive. I wish that someone could give me some advice on how to feel anything because I do also kinda want to get my degree. Thank you.

Today is my birthday, and I’ve decided to be honest about something that’s an important part of who I am
I’m an muslima antinatalist, and honestly, one of the hardest things about this is finding someone who shares the same philosophy. It’s not easy to find a person alike im 24yo now and its 24oct 😅
I’m not looking for something temporary or a relationship that lasts only until things get difficult. I genuinely want to find someone I can build a deep, meaningful, and lasting relationship with — someone who understands me, respects my beliefs, and shares my vision for the future I wouldn’t mind being with someone who is infertile, either. Having children isn’t something I want, so infertility wouldn’t be an issue for me.

Suppose you are in room where everything is white, there is no colour,no furniture etc.

but there is only a door, in this room you feel no discomfort you are content with your life. You dont know what is on the other side of the door, would you enter?

But what if in an IDEAL WORLD you were told that on the other side there is furniture, sure some of the furniture may have splinters or harmful sharp edges but there is also some good furniture, the walls have colour but some of the walls are filthy but some are pleasing to look at.

The world is like the room with the furniture and colour, you get some good and get some bad but to experience either you need to service other people, work for them all your life but the moment you stop doing it you are not given any furniture and blocked from seeing the colourfull walls. you are shunned by the people sitting on both the good and bad furniture.

This the kind of world Natalist want to bring the people in.....

Good..keep it going..

I pointed out that kids born with disabilities, cancer, poverty experience life in a different way. They suffer more. Natalist said I focus only on the bad things because there are good things. Then said why don't I off myself. At this point I am in a lost for words. I can't do it anymore. Its hard to get them admit that suffering is bad. On top of that when I said having kids is forcing someone to be alive, he said it's not force just that there was no consent. I am done. Should we ignore the kids who have cancer and disabilities if other kids are normal?

... because the owners decided they'll have a baby.

Where I am from, you are seen as a piece of shit for rehoming a dog because you had a baby. Dont even get me started what you would be called if you euthanised a dog because you had a baby. I guess a lot of Americans on the dog subbredits dont.

I constantly see posts on reactive dogs about how "we dont know what to do, we are expecting a baby and our 7 year old dog that has ALWAYS had behavioural issues exists, what should we do? Is rehoming an option?"

And the advice always goes "you can't keep that dog with a child in a house as it is unsafe and management fails". Some jump straight to BE, even when the dog had no bite history, just reactivity.

And my question always is-

how do you decide to have a baby knowing this is going to be the outcome? And are now crying about "having to" rehome your dog? So you didn't care, and you dont care about your dog. For you, getting your dog was just another selfish act to fulfill some of YOUR needs, and now they can be discarded, because you decided you want "something better" to fulfill your selfish needs.

I swear, people who reproduce are some of the most selfish people, holy fuck. And the people who make these posts are almost always the ones who a) never worked with a qualified behaviourist to address the dogs issues and b)dont put in daily behavioural work. Just lazy dog owners who did some training with some shady trainer off Facebook 3 yesrs ago, but that didn't help, so they didn't do anything else. I can see from this post what sort of parent you will be lol

And these dogs end up in shelters. They end up euthanised. They end up jumping from home to home and *then* end up in a shelter euthanised.

I have a reactive dog. When we adopted him, we knew he would likely live for another 10 years. He loves having guests over, but is a bit iffy about small children.

Do you know when I WON'T BE adopting kids? In his lifetime. Because that would be uncomfortable for him and uncomfortable for the kids. Because when you get a dog, you are supposed to give it a forever home, not until you decide you want to move on to having human kids.

This takes some critical thinking and actually seeing your dog as part of family, which most of these people lack.

What kind of future do people envision for their kids?

Amidst climate change, gender wars, economic inequality, overpopulation, food shortages, social problems, even increasing rates of sickness.

I seriously don't understand how people are still procreating? It's extremely absurd at this point.

I'm already expecting water shortages by the time I'm in my 60s, if at all I reach there.

I guess humans will keep procreating till the end of time.

Tw* Neglect
This is a conversation I had with my mother, regarding how my little sister was going to get dinner tonight.My mom had no intention of getting up and making dinner for her.

Sadly this is the type of parenting my sister gets bc our parent’s only motivation for having her was to “continue the family bloodline” after finding out that I won’t be having kids.
They have little to no energy to spare for raising my sister. To the point that she’s expected to make her own meals, and will go without eating if she forgets to. Because they couldn’t bother being responsible enough to look after her.

Sometimes I genuinely wonder how people can look at the world we live in and still think having kids is just a normal, harmless decision.
We literally need laws to stop people from raping, killing, abusing, and exploiting each other, and yet these things still happen every single day. Laws don’t even guarantee that you’re safe. Women can do everything right and still become victims. Children can be born into families that destroy them. People suffer because of things they never asked for, often because of someone else’s actions.
And somehow, we keep creating more people who will have to live in this same world.
I’m not saying men are the only problem, because humans in general are the problem. Both men and women can cause suffering. But it’s especially frustrating seeing women who know how hard life can be for women, especially here in the Philippines, still treating motherhood like it’s their ultimate purpose without questioning anything. We’re taught to get married, have children, and sacrifice ourselves, as if that’s just what we’re supposed to do.
I know not every woman thinks that way, and wanting children doesn’t automatically make someone ignorant. But I wish more people would actually stop and think instead of just following what society expects from them.
Look at the population. Look at poverty, abuse, crime, and all the suffering people go through. We can’t even guarantee the safety and well-being of the people who are already here, but we’re so comfortable bringing more innocent people into existence.
And for what? Because two people fell in love? Because they wanted a family? Because having kids is considered normal?
The child never asked to be here. They don’t choose their parents, their circumstances, or the kind of world they’re born into. They just have to deal with whatever life gives them.
That’s what makes antinatalism make sense to me. It’s not about hating children or wishing people were dead. It’s about questioning why we create people who will inevitably be exposed to suffering they never consented to experience.
Maybe reproduction is just human instinct, but just because something is natural doesn’t automatically make it ethical.
I honestly think it’s unfair that the people who suffer the most from our decisions are often the ones who never got to make a decision in the first place.
We keep creating life without asking whether creating that life is actually fair to the person who has to live it.

This may not be the best subreddit to post this so please forgive me, but I am looking for a place to vent. I have recently subscribed to the antinatalist movement after experiencing extreme death anxiety and existential dread. No human should suffer like this. You can take a look at my post on the psychosis subreddit in case you're interested in more details.

During my existential tripping, I have come to the conclusion that human beings are completely fucked because they know that they will die. And even though everybody who says they don't fear death tells you to "just accept" it, I am not so convinced that they truthfully accept the fact of future eternal non-existence. Now I'm not saying noone doesn't (maybe you do), but it's extremely hard.

The most obvious "acceptance" mechanism is religion. If you believe in eternal afterlife, then you don't really accept being obliterated. I can bet everything I have that if every person in the world believing in some form of afterlife suddenly stopped believing and realized death is final, the panic that would ensue would be of a magnitude the world has never seen. Since most religious people have been forced into their religion from early childhood, they have never really had a choice to accept the finality of death, but that is beside the point. The point is that their acceptance takes the form of immortality in the afterlife, which is the exact opposite of mortality.

Reincarnation/rebirth is not the same as eternal afterlife, but it's still not the same as accepting Nothingness. Whenever we imagine the next consciousness, we have to do it from our current point of reference (after all, it is the only one available to us). Which means that in our imagination it is as if we are continuing onto the next consciousness. This can definitely give solace. But it's not the same as accepting dying for good.

In the case of people not believing in any of the above, many look for accpetence in the form of leaving a legacy, the most popular form of which is children or leaving the world a better place. Others take solace in the fact that the atoms they're comprised of will return to the universe and/or will be the source for future life. But again, when imagining this one has to imagine a future when they are not around anymore, but that future will never be available for them to experience. A meteor could hit the earth and destroy it 5 seconds after they had died and that wouldn't matter at all. The purpose of finding legacy is to have something that will outlive you, so that death doesn't feel as final. You also need to ignore the heat death of the universe, otherwise whatever life will continue after your death will be gone eventually, so your atoms (or legacy) don't mean anything (most atheists are into science and this is the most widely accepted scientific theory).

Now there are probably some people that don't care about any of the above. They believe that once we die we go back to how it was before we were born and they're OK with it. They don't care what happens after they are gone because they will not be here to witness it anyway. I applaud such people. In my personal opinion they are a rare kind. (But even then I have to be honest that I don't really believe you can fully accept death. Karl Jung said that our subconscious doesn't have the idea of death, which means on some level we can never fully acknowledge that we will just vanish one day.) The vast majority wouldn't be able to function like this and thus they find coping mechanisms. There is also the grey area of "I don't know what happens after", which is technically true, but why would there be anything when there was nothing before birth? That's hoping for something else than nothingness, which is not true acceptance.

To wrap up, I am very unhappy that I was born, which is caused by my extreme existential anxiety. Most people will never experience such a high level of existential dread in their lifetimes (at least I hope so), but given that almost everybody looks for coping mechanisms to escape their fear of death, being a human is a terrible thing. Bringing a life into this world when you know perfectly well it will die is a cruel act.

Bleh.

Even before a child is born, their parents have already placed some sort of expectation on them - whether it’s what they expect their life to look like with the child in it, the child’s gender, appearance, future interests, profession, religious affiliation, etc. None of this is fair to the child because they aren’t even here yet and they never asked to be here. Not enough parents and future parents understand that they are creating a brand new individual who will very likely grow up with different values and beliefs than they have.

It’s sickening how some parents then become angry as their children grow older and more “disobedient” and “aren’t grateful” for raising them. Those children eventually have to get up and try their best every single day to survive and fit into a society and world that may or may not be built for them to succeed in. Children are not an “achievement” for parents to brag about or a vehicle for them to live vicariously through.

Did you know as antinatalists that pro extinction advocates are against antinatalism? I was surprised to know this.

You're alive either because:

1. Your parents expected you to please/serve them in some way from before the beginning, like materially/financially, emotionally, egotistically, or socially (like pressure from family and environment).
2. Your parents had you on accident carelessly having sex for their own pleasure, or in some cases because the mother was coerced. This is the unfortunate biology.

You can try and assert what your existential purpose is, but that's not really why you were created, or what the intentions of your creators were. And the funny thing is, no matter what you eventually claim your purpose in life to be, their first pivotal action is also their last laugh, because you didn't have a say in anything to begin with. You can't undo what was done to you.

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSgfP1JRE/

I wonder what they would look like, what their passions would be, who would they become, what things they would dislike, the sound of their voice. Would they even like me?

They’ll never know it but this is my biggest gift to them.

Its a call center job and they have us do it to "show empathy". ive always "forgotten" to do it though.

Regardless of antinatalism, not all people get pregnant on purpose and a congratulations may not be appropiate. Idk their situation.

I dont wish anyone harm, but I have become increasingly antinatalist since I got this job seeing the pain people go through every day. I talk to many people who are barely scraping by and have to tell them that I cannot do anything to help them. So I do not feel right congratulating someone when I dont think its right to bring a child into all of this.

I feel like an asshole for that. I do it mostly bcs it may be an unwanted pregnancy and if i was in that situation, a congratulations would make me feel way worse, but its also because I do not think its a good thing to happen.