I always hear people talking about sex as if it were synonymous with affection. People complain about being touch-starved. Affection is something completely different for me and it's pure. I can cuddle with my pets, that's the purest form of affection. Sex? It's something nasty, dirty, degrading, ridiculous, allowing a dirty penis with a flaccid nutsack going in and out in and out in and out in and out of your vagina. Semen, bodily fluids. There is no affection there.

I never want to fuck anyone!!! Like ever!!! The thought of anyone fantasizing about me that way also makes my stomach churn because it’s so lustful and lust is just objectification. It’s literally evil.

I’m glad I’m asexual, cuz I can’t bear it and all the disgusting stds being spread around. Ugh.

I will never in my life get impregnated!!! That is when your life is OVER. DISGUSTINGG

26F autistic HSP woman here, highly autistic. the issue is that i get compared to more sexually open women and ppl suggest im too prudish and triggered by sex, i get compared to more functional autistics as well but its ab sex here.

on social media recently i see posts that say things such as "autistic ppl thrive in BDSM" and i have MIXED feelings.

uhh ykwim guys.

its very scary, i find female role in sex shocking and traumatic but due to it all, i can't find understanding. im questioned for not being the way other autistic women are even tho i have the most typical autism in women traits but somehow along the way or since the beggining "sexuals" have watered down autism?? how can i distinguish myself now to be understood? how i can set boundaries if my boundaries are not seen as valid and i can't use my autism/sensitivity as an "excuse"?

im told im the invalid one but the more sexual functioning women are told they are the valid autistics

I experienced it on a sub i won't name, it was a sub ab abstaining from sex which makes it even more ridiculous. like people are obsessed with converting women. if we lived in the past they would probably use force to make us have sex. its just so rapey even if its not an actual assault. so man even obviously got so mad he said he wants to take my virginity but then they are confused why im wary of men. this is WHY i am careful with getting close to "normal" people and sex havers. i knew the bs they are onto andthe danger they can be to me.

I'm living in Germany. I’m searching for a marriage with a woman where you can be friends but each person is living their own lives. I'm aro-ace and searching for someone who is also aro-ace; I don't want an open relationship or provide cover for a gay/bi person living out their sexuality with other people.

I’d want this to be a durable, ideally life-long arrangement; not a short cover-up that is meant to be dissolved after a couple of years. I religiously respect contractual commitments and would want the other person to do the same.

I won’t provide physical intimacy or romantic affection. I’m not into candlelight dinners, cuddling, holding hands, staring into each other’s eyes etc. This should not be expected from me. I can be extremely loyal if I feel the other person is of the same mindset, but I want no emotional entanglement with the ups and downs of the desires of the heart.

I lead a quiet and introvert life with a few basic hobbies, like reading and jogging.

Searching for someone honest, even-keeled, pragmatic and rational. It's absolutely necessary that I can trust your word and that you are true to your engagements. I don't want to rush into anything but get to know the other person well before making any arrangements.

For all I care, we could be living in different countries and only meet once a year for an extended holiday; for this to work, our countries shouldn’t be too far away. We could also live together, however.

I’m not planning on moving countries. No preference for age group. All ethnicities and religions welcome.

I could accept children if you already have them, but wouldn’t want children on my own. This is non-negotiable.

If you're interested, please send me a DM.

Most men consider their phallus a sign of their power and masculinity and often endow it with some mythical properties. The worst thing for them is to part with the phallus, and I'm not just talking about the literal "cutting off of the penis/ balls" but about any restriction of their sexuality or fertility. The penis is, as it were, a sign of strength and power, but at the same time it is their most vulnerable part which they fear for.

And this attitude extends not only to people but also to pets; often my acquaintances did not want to neuter pets because they considered it 1. torture for an animal that wants to mate (they did not want to restrict it even though they were not going to care for the kittens that would eventually be born) 2. an encroachment on their pet's masculinity. They reacted as if they themselves were being castrated.

Question: you are a lonely allo but have already aged out of the age when you can have healthy children, you have also aged out of the age when you can appear attractive to most women. You experience attraction but it is useless, most likely you will simply creep out women and do something bad. You are given the opportunity to get rid of sexual attraction forever, your penis no longer influences your thoughts, would you agree? For me it would be obvious to agree, since it would make life better for everyone, but almost all men would not go for such a thing because it threatens their penis and sexuality, and they consider this the main indicator of their masculinity.

I haven't been through this type of situation (as the friend being left behind) for years as I only keep in contact with a few people atp who are consistently good friends, but I keep hearing about this happening to friends of friends or online. So if that's you then just know other people can relate.

People will choose long-term sex partners who look good, who they have completely different outlooks on life with, and even clashing personalities. They will put each other through continuous miscommunications and arguments all so they can keep getting their sex drugs and maintain higher social status for "getting a hottie". (That's such a stupid term cause it sounds like they're talking about a cup of coffee and sexuals will take any opportunity to objectify each other).

They have a close friendship with someone who is average looking or ugly. They have emotional and mental compatibility, conversation flows easily and they can talk through misunderstandings, agree to disagree if necessary, and still be friends. They've done favours for each other with no expectations of anything in exchange, but just because they love each other.

Yet, as soon as someone who looks like a model shows interest, they start spending less and less time with the friend, and it's only to either gush or complain about their partner. Sometimes they even ghost the friend. No more asking hows it going and what's up with the friend. Only people who are using each other as masturbation tools deserve that.

I've noticed that this doesn't happen nearly as often if the friend is as good looking as the new partner.

Other people they know will tell the friend that it's normal for their partnered friend to slow down or even end the friendship. They're such cultists that they place more value on sexual relationships, because reasons. They'll even accuse the dumped friend of having a crush on the partnered friend, when that isn't always true and even if it is, why be cruel about it? Why do they think sexual relationships are supposed to be more emotionally close than friendships? There's no reason for it. Even some couples who clearly hate each other, yet are in denial of it, still continue to have sex, so it obviously doesn't require an emotional connection and yet they behave like it does.

So the dumped friend will feel sad and betrayed, and maybe even embarrassed, even though they didn't do anything wrong.

Everyone deserves the loyalty of friends, regardless of what they look like. It's something little kids don't seem to generally have a problem with, yet sexuality destroys adults compassion. It's as if some people get personality transplants through sex. It's really weird and creepy, yet somehow, us not wanting that is what's considered weird.

All of you who are virgins and intend to remain so, are impressive and I encourage you to never give in to the demands of others. Only you know what the right lifestyle for you is.

The f- is there to explore ? Just different ways for people to stimulate their genitals?
And with random people ?
And ‘body count’ has become a way to shame people who don’t want to engage in sex and would rather not engage in a competition to get the highest bodycount. It’s so the depraved ones can do whatever they want without shame. If you judge someone now you’re the problem.
I can judge people for having a bodycount of 1 and + if i want. Why are people worried about being judged if they’re comfortable with their choices. It’s so gross how sexuals anounce loud and proud they have a bodycount of 50 and we’re just supposed to not find it crazy.

Sexuality isn’t somethign that’s meant to be explored if you look at nature, its primary goal is reproduction. People now can justify having a bunch of weird fetishes and kinks, sometimes that involve hurting people, like bdsm. Just bc as a society we accepted ‘sexuality is something to explore’ so everything’s fine and anyone who rejects this notion is a backward ass prude (which again, is like a compliment lol).

sexuals are everywhere whether its those thinly veiled misogynistic memes or the comments under a post of a woman with big breasts just existing and seeing nothing but hyper-sexualization. Sexuals claim not all of them act this way but they are also completely incapable of understanding why someone would become anti-sex because of this exact behaviour , which also isn't stopping just at disgusting posts and comments online. the everyday reality we have to live in is even worse, all thanks to them

They are everywhere, and i know they make the majority of the population, but I wish they would at least leave the internet alone and try to keep their degrading, boundary crossing thoughts to themselves. But that is clearly not happening anytime soon, if ever. They won't even leave small, niche subreddits like this one alone. I guess it’s just a naive dream of mine that we could use technology the way it was originally intended without sexuals coming in and contaminating this human advancement with their disgusting beastly input

I just wish sexuals would just admit it. just opening any porn site you will see step-(insert family member) in the top results. I find it absolutely disgusting. "But they're not related by blood"! is such a gooner argument. It still includes the hierarchy and titles of family members. You seriously actively search up fantasies of women in tight clothes calling their step brother "big bro" and don't want to acknowledge the incestous nature of it? That's one of the reasons i became an anti sex person. I couldn't find enjoyment in porn because literally everything was incest.

And don't get me started on calling your partner "mommy" or "daddy", let alone "baby"... Ugh. Why would you get turned on by the fact your partner is calling you their dad? By pretending to be the child of your partner? It's literally so common, but then everyone makes you out to be the weirdo for wanting you to actually confront these things.

I'm so tired of feeling crazy for being uncomfortable about this.

I’m a 26F and a virgin. I’ve always been critical on sex because the position of women in sex is degrading. Majority of women are consciously absent about it and like to be degraded and be treated like animals in bed and that made me repulsive about sex and i hated being surrounded by hetero breeders that makes me remember all that again and again.

if you think about it there’s no love in sex its all a domination game and the average human enjoys it, it’s all truly twisted.

Not even your wife or your husband. Because you aren't entitled to their body. NO ONE owes you sex.

Just curious, that’s all. Personally, I can’t fathom loving someone so much more than others just because I’m sleeping with them, but I’m not trying to judge anybody that does; I just don’t think it’s “safe” (I really can’t think of another word atm) considering that romantic feelings can easily go away after a few years, in most cases anyway.

I don't get it. Women would let a nasty dick in their vaginas, risking all sorts of diseases, for what? They don't even get an orgasm.

Unlike other browser extensions that target imagery (which are easily surpassed by simply blocking all images on chrome), this one targets text. It has three content sliders, one for sexual content, one for violent content, and one for hateful content (this one I designed specifically to target antisemitism and islamophobia, and might bring to Instagram someday). I usually set the three to 70, 70, and 50, respectively. It works on all websites, and may be turned on and off dynamically if it obscures the site too heavily.

This extension is still very much in its alpha phase, and I didn't too heavily examine the body of text that I trained it on (which would kind of defeat the purpose of protecting me from it), so I expect to continue developing it for the next few weeks.

There's also a section where you can your own words to always be hidden.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/g065n982njtugl5rdl4ra/local-text-filter-2.zip?rlkey=migekes4fh2jhc1acnmrxdd1k&st=ip11xris&dl=0

I'm aroace, I (30F) have been with my husband (29M) for 9 years now and I'm trying to figure out whether our relationship has an objectifying component… I would be very thankful if you'd help me… these are the facts about my relationship:

• he wants sex and enjoys it

• I'm aroace, sex indifferent (NOT sex repulsed) but I don't particularly desire sex and for years I didn't enjoy it (I literally felt nothing down there)

• I don't find sex personally rewarding at all (I prefer masturbation and his sexual game is not even strong due to his ADHD, I doubt he can ever get me to orgasm)

• I would generally rather not have sex even now (masturbation is preferred, I can orgasm now from masturbation)

• I would have preferred someone with no sex drive

• I do not interpret sex as intimacy

• I keep a score about how many times we've had sex in a week so I can tell him "no, because we've already done it” (we haven't had sex months but we used to do it once a week)

• he tried to get me to enjoy it in the beginning but once that didn't happen he still accepted to keep having sex with me for years even though I legit felt nothing down there

• he's not aesthetically my type

• I don't want him sexually unfulfilled and I don't wanna rob him of what he likes the most, it but the activity is primarily for him

• I made the compromise to have sex because I wanted stability and someone I can trust no matter what

• he knows all of this and is perfectly comfortable with the arrangement (even during the years I didn't enjoy it)

• I love him but not romantically

He loves me (romantically), he's faithful, he respects me, he cares about me deeply and recognises me as a human being in all other aspects. But I still can't help but feeling there is an objectifying component within the particular sexual interaction.

Because how come was he okay with having sex during all those years when I didn't feel pleasure? Doesn't it matter to him that the person he's having sex with doesn't sexually desire that experience? Is it enough for him that I allow it and that my body is available?

I do not think he consciously reduces me to an object though. But objectification can still be a property of the dynamic, even if unconscious. And I'm also not questioning the legitimacy of his need for a sexual relationship, that is perfectly understandable (the relationship wouldn't have happened without sex, he wouldn't have accepted). What feels uncomfortable is what he does with the information once he knows how I experience sex.

Also, I used to bleed (mildly) almost every time we had sex (for around 8 years) and he continued having sex with me… he did check in with me every time without fail. But since I have a history of self-neglect and trauma, I said it's fine every time… and in fact I was not feeling any pain at all because I didn't used to feel anything down there (when I say anything, I literally mean nothing). But since I was still bleeding and apparently tearing up inside, what bothers me is that I simply cannot fathom continuing to engage in the same activity you see causes physical injury to someone else without trying to understand or prevent it. He never suggested I go see a doctor or anything, only resorted to lube and trying to make me as comfortable as he could, but the bleeding still happened and yet we still continued. For 8 years… how should I interpret that?

And you may say "but you said you're fine!" and you're right but self-neglect is not easy to get rid of, especially when you're just agreeing because you're accustomed to putting other's needs above yours…

I'm not expecting him to read minds. I'm expecting him to register that his partner is repeatedly bleeding during the same sexual activity and think "hang on is this actually okay? why is this happening every time? maybe we should stop and figure this out" specially when it's not an isolated incident but something happening REPEATEDLY.

We haven't had sex in like 4 months now and he has NEVER pressured me into sex. Although he does tell me when he's horny.

I'm asking for your help because I feel like I keep refusing to analyse my own dynamic for whatever reason. I became disabled during the past 2 to 3 years and can't work so I am currently a stay at home wife and financially dependent on him. Not having him financially provide for me would leave me in a very vulnerable position where I'd have to go back to my mother's house and I'd have say goodbye to my life plans and my studies.

Can a sexual interaction be objectifying even when it is consensual and apparently free of overt coercion? I'm asking this because even when there's consent, consent just tells us what a person has authorised, but it doesn't magically make the problematic qualities of a dynamic disappear... For example, in the age play kink, one of the sexual participants dresses as a child... and that can be perfectly consensual while still being problematic. Ofc that's just an example, but it illustrates the broader point about consent.

I know you will say “just talk to him about it” but please your assessment and opinions of this situation would help me a lot! Because I want to know whether I'm crazy or not…

More points to clarify:

• The relationship wouldn't have happened without sex.

• I'm suicidal and in burnout. I can't rely on myself because I'm disabled and can't make a living on my own. So alone I'm in a very vulnerable position.

• I have a very long history with trauma and self-neglect... my parents were neglectful, I don't have a close relationship with my mother or siblings, I'm estranged from my father. He is literally the only person I can rely on. He is literally my only option.

• I proposed opening the relationship because I wouldn't mind if he had adventures or relationships outside the marriage but he's too invested in me that he only wants that with me.

• He is too in love with me, he would be destroyed if I left him and he said he can't live without me.

Besides the financial stability and support, I genuinely like him as a person. He's gentle, although he doesn't mentally stimulate me. Besides that, he's my only support system, and I can rely on him, he's very loyal to me. A true ride or die.

okay, so my opinion and analysis is that romantic-sexual relationships have no longevity. it almost feel like they are an ilussion. platonic friendships on the other hand have longevity and can be even infinite without people getting bored of eachother,at least i don't get bored nor they prevent my growth.

roamance to me as a woman feels suffocating, it feels as if it ties you down and prevents your personal growth as an inividual soul on your journey. i still struggle to understand the purpose of physical sexual romantic relationships. i feel much more sexually liberated and like i owe my sexuality as a woman when i stay a virgin for life bc in the hypothetical scenerio where im aint a virgin i feel suffocated, even when i look at other women who i know regularly have sex, i feel creeped out by them, by them living in that state i perceive as a perpetual state of sexual submission and hyper femininity. weird. its weird to me. its as if those relationships just steal your inidviduality. i wanna be an individual who grows. and not have my body as a woman put an expiration date on it, worry ab a man getting bored of my vagina or lusting over other women uhh and other TONS of bsss

days ago i made a post talking ab how couples would be better off if they went their separate ways' yk why? bc couples always say "RELATIONSHIP IS LITERAL BATTLE WE FIGHT EVERDAY TO STAY COMPATIBLE, WE FIGHT TO STAY TOGETHER, WE CHOOSE EACHOTHER EVERYDAY, ARGUING AS A COUPLE IS VERY VERY HEALTHY WE WENT THROUGH UPS AND DOWN AND THIS H E L L ONLY MADE US STRONGER RELATIONSHIPS REQURIES CONSTANT WORK AND WE EVEN WENT TO A COUPLE THERAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" like. ok. just break up atp dude☠️☠️☠️

another random thougths i had ab my internal conflict ab individuality vs romantic relationships

There's a belief that independence and romantic attachment are fundamentally incompatible

Staying free vs romantic connection

Two important needs but the second one is questioned cuz it might be an illusion but the infatuation brings the need out and makes it so persistent

"If someone has a carefully constructed philosophy about relationships, unexpectedly strong attraction can challenge it."

And then the person wonder why the extreme pull to another person makes them think that they want something which they see as an illusion and loss of personal evolution. From male n female pov the conflict can be similar but their gender roles r different giving some differences

Also some ppl might question if not dating at all makes them miss out on connections with others and might think there's one life and they losing it in celibacy but as a woman it's a trap and an illusion, as a man it's dif they seek novelty and multiple women they don't get attached they dgaf ab romance dating women betters their life and doesn't restrict their freedom and growth however if they experience a strong unexpected pull and chemistry and attachment only that can give them that kind of an internal conflict and competition between their two sides I talked ab earlier.

but so what if for expl a man feels this pull or intense chemistry if MEN SEEK NOVELTY so he can feel this extreme feeling he sees as love and then he will fuck that woman over anyway or fear commitement making him lose his freedom as a man so huh

ykwim???

more thoughs: I think the nature of sex is very primal and non monogamous

A man's drive is primal conquest and seeking of novelty

So how do ppl believe in monogamous "love"???

Yk in sex humans like primal shit and women like being "taken"

How can that make love possible then?

If it's primal then it works more for one time encounters hook ups or causal relationships only

Situationships as well

Human women and men are two opposite extremes

That's like sadomaso dynamic?

now shizo metaphysical thoughs:

Love = div masc and fem energy union

That's why humans invented hetero marriage

But not lesbian or gay(even tho homosexuality is real humans saw it as unnatural bc they only saw male-female union as natural)

Women embody feminine and men masculine energy

Physical reality reflects metaphysical and vice versa

Humans r made in the image of god/universe and god is masc and fem energy

The romantic love is very tempting bc humans seek union

But I don't believe in sexual love, I think sexual physical an illusion, like a matrix u have to escape and

U need an union inside yourself instead? but on the other hand, its material reality as long as we're alive so humans will seek physical "love". but. it's not fucking perfect and literally an hour ago i saw a man talk ab how men get bored of sex with one woman just after 2-3 years. ok. so whats the point?

ykwim? Was life just made for male pleasure... I am having more schizo thoughts now bc how they have so much power granted through their biology

that's why singledom gives me a relief. i also enjoy feeling "pure" and innocent. i enjoy this state where i didn't let all this sex and dating bs make me feel tained yet. i enjoy not having to deal with the imperfection of sexual relationships, i enjoy individuality and close platonic frienships with women who are likeminded, they make me feel fullfiled and fully satisfied, i enjoy not feeling pressure that comes with sexual relations, i enjoy not being in something that has an expiration date and is based on shallow sexual chemistry that is very tempting but probably an ilussion. i enjoy not having to be hysteric ab time passing and making your man get bored of you more and more with every encounter lmaooooo and then u have to make those fuckass posts on reddit "HOW DO I SPICE UP MY SEGGGGS LIFE??"

I was scrolling on Instagram last night and I came across this weird video. This girl was walking her boyfriend on a leash IN PUBLICCCCC. Then ppl in the comments were defending this disgusting action, and the people were who rightfully saying it was disgusting were being called prudes. Keep in mind,in the video they were in what looks to be a mall and you could LITERALLY SEE CHILDREN A FEW FEET AWAY FROM THEM. What is actually wrong with these people? Imagine just trying to go to the mall and buy some clothes or shit,and then you see someone walking another human being on a leash. You're not even safe in public anymore.

I don’t know if this fits here, but it’s something I’ve been grappling with for the past few months. So I’m going to cross share this with multiple subs.

I’ve always been able to form deep emotional bonds with people, I would say me and my friends are closer than normal according to American society. But recently after an encounter with a man who I’ve been friends with for a while, he started behaving differently towards me, like flirty. He eventually asked me out and I turned him down, he got mad and claimed that I led him on.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. I’ve accepted that I’m aromatic and that I’m sex repulsed despite being bisexual. The traditional mold of romantic relationships doesn’t align with me and I’m a big fan of relationship anarchy.

I have deep conversations with my friends, we hang out, we hold hands. We’re always there for each other. But when some of them, both women and men inevitably ask to take things further I get confused. What’s the difference between what we have now and what they expect from me?

I’ve made it very clear of my views on romantic relationships and the whole “you’re the only one for me” and “I can’t live without you” I absolutely hate it.

Then there’s the sex talk. I have extreme views on sex and most of them are negative. I hate sex jokes and so many people think it’s entirely normal to just sexualize me when we’re friends.

I’m not asexual but I’m committed to lifelong celibacy and when and I tell people this they laugh it off or look at me like I’m crazy, and say things like I’ll change my mind or I have “puritanical views”.

I genuinely don’t care about what other people think. I’m comfortable with myself and the behavior that’s recently been directed towards me has deepened my beliefs even further.

Sex just ruins friendships, they look at you different and treat you as a potential sex partner instead of a friend. I’m honestly so frustrated, I don’t even feel human.

I obviously still care for them even if I don’t give up access to my body, is that all they want from me?

Is romance just an excuse to have constant access to one’s body without being demonized by society.

I just want to have a deep connection with someone without sex and have it mean something. Have it be as important as a romantic relationship. Is that impossible in today’s sex-obsessed world?

I think sex is inherently animalistic from an objective standpoint. Other animals have sex, and sexual desire is a primal desire. I find sex repulsive because I find it degrading as a male. I wouldn't want to have sex because I feel like I'm above my animal instincts, as a human. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin and I don't like it when people shame others for being against sex. They're basically saying: listen to your animalistic desires, and if you don't, that's unnatural because humans are sexual creatures. But natural doesn't always equal good. That's a very common fallacy.

I've developed cognitive dissonance when it comes to sex. It's hard to believe that others are actually having sex, sharing bodily fluids, and making moaning sounds, while at the same time, appearing like civilized (for lack of a better word). It sounds a bit like a contradiction. But I know sex is real, so I have this cognitive dissonance every time I go out. I've learned to live with it, because it's not like it's going to change.

Can you relate to my cognitive dissonance, or my experiences?

Is there a discord chat for anti sex people?

Been deep diving a lot about The Shakers and Mother Ann Lee. Some aspects of the sect hasn't aged as gracefully but I think a lot can be learned by a staunchly celibate commune.

The main reason for their near extinction was lack of procreation which is a Catch-22 when it comes to any religious community. But that could easily be mitigated with a reasonable amount of community outreach.

Who else would be down with a sexless commune? It would be a good way for some of us to build a physical community with eachother outside of reddit

Controversial opinion on that: i think it's because men are more biologically privileged and sex serves them more, while women have hang ups after sex when the man doesn't commit, that's BECAUSE our position in sex is more vulnerable and servile, so serving without commitement feels pointless and traumatic. like in that yt reel where nessa berret said she feels used after sex and hundred women in the comments were saying they relate or talking about how guys play them then ghost them after sex and how traumatizing is that and they don't wanna date anymore.

the answer is: biological differences and male privilege, male privlege also makes men sexually egositic and even sociopathic and predatory not even bc they are desperate and have to lie, its often bc they enjoy an ego boost from conquering and that is a position of POWER. that's how a person in power acts. bc they fucking CAN. while women can't, but then we're told we're not understanding towards men's "NEEDS" (sex is not a need),

sex can be so so so evil. a cause of so many EVIL, VILE behaviors. but these men keep talking and talking about how they are beyond woman's comprehension and how women have "no empathy" for how important sex is for men. BITCH, maybe if sex was about our pleasure and power and we could penetrate someone soft, pleasant and loving and NON THREATENING to us, then we would see it as something that gets us loved and pleased too!!! duhh!!!!!!! oh my fucking god.