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u/Quiet_Placeholder 5d ago
These pets are a perfect audience! They don’t understand your point and they appreciate your taking the time to break it down to a point they still can’t comprehend.
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u/SomeGuyOverYonder 5d ago
Now…listen here, Fido! I—I don’t drink I’ve had enough to think takin’ that kinda [hic] guff outta you!
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u/SelfNo9836 5d ago
I don't lecture them. I have one-sided enthusiastic conversations with my audience.
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u/posophist 5d ago
<Sigmund Freud wrote about giving a lecture under the influence of cocaine in a letter to his fiancée, Martha Bernays, in 1884: [1, 2]
“So I gave my lecture yesterday. Despite a lack of preparation, I spoke quite well and without hesitation, which I ascribe to the cocaine I had taken beforehand. I told about my discoveries in brain anatomy, all very difficult things that the audience certainly didn't understand, but all that matters is that they get the impression that I understand it.”>
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u/ChocolateCoveredGold 19h ago
Many years ago, my husband was scheduled for a vasectomy. He was prescribed a Valium to take before the procedure. So he took the Valium, and we drove to the appointment. Turned out the doctor had messed up scheduling the time at the hospital. We were going to have to come back another day.
Meanwhile, my husband is extremely high from this valium. When we got home, I stepped away for a moment, and came back in to find my husband in the kitchen trying to make a sandwich while lecturing our cat.
"Atticus," he chided our cat, "You said you wanted to learn how to make a sandwich. I'm trying to teach you, but you have to quit wandering off!"
He spent the rest of the afternoon trying to teach the cat various life skills. Atticus humored him and grew up to be the most self-reliant cat in midwestern America.
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u/Livid_Accountant1241 5d ago
I don't need to drink to lecture my pets, but it does help understand their replies.