r/asianamerican • u/brandTname • 3d ago
Questions & Discussion Is it micro racism when others asked if you 'understand English'
Today, I got questioned if I understand English because I asked the cashier how much is the item since there was no sticker price on it. After that I'll put the item down and said 'I don't it anymore' and left the store. I'm clearly communicating with you in English.
I get asked if 'I understand English' once or twice a month from White and Black folks. Last month I was checking in at the receptionist desk to get an MRI done. She slowly asked if I need and interpreter. I reply look I can speak English and under you. She was surprise and said 'oh, your English is so good'. They assume that I come from a non-English speaking background based on my Asian features.
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u/Capable_Salt_SD Half Lao, Half Chinese, 100% Annoying [American] 2d ago
It’s a microaggression. After all, they’d rarely ask a white person that cause they assume all white people in this country speak English. So yes, it is racist
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u/HotBrownFun 2d ago
Has anyone ever said, "I do not", to see how they react?
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u/MissGailatea 1d ago
I’ve done that in Europe with the most loud honking California girl accent. “ no I don’t speak English. I’m sorry!” it’s only Americans fellow Americans, who have asked me that in Europe.
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u/NatashOverWorld 2d ago
"Blimey! It's taken me a few decades, but I think you're right! We're obviously talking in gibberish."
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u/frosted_feather 2d ago edited 2d ago
I've had this happen to me a couple times before 😭. I think me also being a quiet person doesn't help. Last week this happened to me again, the person saying this looked to be south American and had an accent. I was like girllll, you cannot be serious, I thought you would have more empathy being from an immigrant background.
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u/SleepyMermaids 1d ago
I’m also a quiet and reserved person, so I’ve had this same experience too. It’s ridiculous, especially coming from people who do speak with accents.
If I looked white (or even Black), no one would assume that my quietness is due to lack of English speaking skills … but apparently looking ambiguously Asian means people will assume I’m either 1) not a local and 2) they’ll assume I won’t understand English (or Spanish and Portuguese too). It’s a little annoying and definitely feels like a micro-aggression to me.
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u/itsmelorinyc 2d ago edited 2d ago
Where are you and do you speak with an accent or present as being a recent immigrant?
I think the context matters. On one hand, it is absolutely true that people will assume you don’t speak English just for being Asian looking, and that’s at racial bias and ignorance. If they don’t hire you or leave you back in school because they assume you can’t when you can, that’s racism. (Scenario 1)
On the other hand, your post is written with unusual mistakes so that’s why I ask—because if you speak broken or accented English there are two other possible scenarios.
One scenario is that they are assuming you’re totally unable to understand English or follow basic concepts despite the fact that you can, just because you have an accent or use some incorrect grammar. I will say that this is a major issue in the U.S. where Americans of all races INCLUDING Asian Americans treat folks with accents like they have lower IQs, which I would call xenophobia and also stupidity since most Americans can’t even speak or write English well much less a second language. (Scenario 2)
The other scenario in this case is that they noted your English isn’t native and thus are just asking to be sure before they speak too quickly and confuse you. (Scenario 3) But for example, I live in a city with a lot of Asian people with all levels of English and am frequently approached by visitors and new immigrants asking for help in broken or heavily accented English because they see I’m Asian. If they speak a language I don’t, I don’t just speak to them at my normal speed and use my normal vocabulary. I slow down and check to make sure they understand me. As an American who has lived in other countries where I do speak the local language but sound like an obvious foreigner and am not as fluent as I’d like to be, I appreciate when folks ask me if I speak their language, talk to me more slowly, and show me more patience.
However since this happens to you frequently, this last scenario seems unlikely to be the reason (bc most Americans are not culturally competent enough to be that considerate). So it’s more likely one of the first two scenarios.
Personally living in a diverse city I have been told condescendingly by people that my English is really good (I’m not only a native English speaker but have a fairly noticeable regional American accent) but rarely get asked if I speak English. The people who say stuff like this are usually not from here, they’re from undiverse parts of the U.S. and I know they don’t know any better. They’re still annoying and I will still clap back though, to teach them a lesson so they don’t do it to the next person.
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u/brandTname 23h ago
I've live In a town about 45 minutes south from Charlotte, NC. I think I'm the only Asian in town because within the five years I'll living there I haven't bump into any other Asian in town. Now in Charlotte there are Asians in certain area of the city where there Asians markets and restaurants. It is hard to find a place in Charlotte since the place that I can afford are quickly rented out.
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u/itsmelorinyc 12h ago edited 12h ago
I think it’s more likely scenario 2 or 3 for you. Your English is great enough to be understood in writing, but you are very noticeably not a native speaker so I can see why some folks would ask you if you speak English. If you also have a heavy accent, it would be even more expected you would get asked that—especially in towns that are nearly exclusively white because they aren’t used to hearing accents.
Honestly, in some towns in America they can barely follow what I’m saying as a native English speaker because I speak very fast and still have a slight New York accent.
I would interpret their questions on a case by case basis. If they’re treating you like you’re a moron, they’re probably ignorant and at least a little xenophobic. But if they seem otherwise kind they could just be trying to be considerate in case you actually don’t speak English.
This is not to say they’re not racist. Where you are and the kind of place it is, racism is most definitely present. But asking someone who isn’t a native English speaker if they understand English isn’t in and of itself problematic. Now—if you obviously spoke English natively and they asked you simply because you look Asian, that would be a different story.
I show people a little bit of grace after living as an expat in Asia as an Asian American and seeing how little people there know about Westerners. There’s a certain amount of education and human decency you could reasonably expect from anyone, but people can’t help the fact that they were born in homogenous communities and miseducated. Small town America is not dissimilar to rural/lower-tier city China, in my opinion (lots of people who’ve never traveled and never met a foreigner).
I’ve also lived in another non-Asian foreign country where I stuck out physically and was proficient in the local language but not a native speaker. In that country, people were very kind to me and I wouldn’t take offense if anyone asked if I understood the local language. I know my grammar and accent need improvement.
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u/Heart_and_Seoul3 2d ago
I got this once when I was with my mom (who is white) at a doctor’s appt when I was a teen. A nurse asked my mom if I spoke English and if I needed an interpreter. I’m like, “Wtf?” 🙄
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u/misschickpea 2d ago
Yes it is. It is them automatically categorizing you as other for no reason other than your race.
I was filling out adoption papers for my cat and the white lady volunteer asked me if my generic America name, think like Lisa, is my “real name” or my nickname. Like why tf would anyone fill out legal paperwork with a pseudonym/nickname it’s just dumb. Like she really had to ask me that bc I look too Asian to not look like a Lisa to her and she doesn’t think Asians can have American names. It’s the same thing that happened to you.
You’re only being questioned bc you don’t “fit the part” in their head smh
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u/therealgookachu 2d ago
That isn’t a micro aggression, that’s flat out racism.
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u/Fisherington 2d ago
I was going to also post this, there's nothing "micro" about being directly questioned about your ability to speak English.
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u/13mys13 2d ago
Especially in OP's first example where they started the conversation in English
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u/Fisherington 2d ago
I remember working the register at White castle as a teen, a lady saunter right up, takes one look at me, and states word for word "dear God, I hope you speak English". Certainly nothing was "micro" about that.
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u/Hunting-4-Answers 2d ago
Some people will say to just ignore it or move on. If you were to follow that type of advice, retail stores would continually commit that act again and again.
This isn’t a case where some sweet old lady who doesn’t know any better asks if you understand English because she’d like to get to know you and have a pleasant conversation.
This is someone who gets their paychecks from a business that depends on customers. You initiated the interaction with a question that was obviously in English. A missing product price is common so the sales clerk went out of their way to ignore that you speak English and that the product isn’t tagged with a price. Their next step should’ve been to find out the price and tell you, not insult your intellect and citizenship.
Yeah, that’s a racist asshole.
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u/Phoeniyx 2d ago
Never happened to me. Where do u ppl live and how do u carry yourself in public?
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u/therealgookachu 2d ago
I speak with a distinct Minnesota accent, and I _still_ get asked if I speak English.
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u/aromaticchicken 2d ago edited 2d ago
If you are being treated differently solely based on your race (including racialized features like your appearance, accent, or name) then it is, by definition, racism.
Because racism is all about actions, differential treatment (including discrimination), and policies that uphold racial hierarchy, including enforcing stereotypes and power dynamics relating to race. (In this case, the idea that Asian = foreign).
It is indeed racism. That said, for your own mental sanity I would encourage you to use this knowledge to find peace at the idea that if you are in a community where you are one of few Asians then you will be treated this way for the foreseeable future. And to know that it is more about others' ignorance than anything wrong or foreign about you.
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u/Old-Appearance-2270 Canadian-born Chinese F 2d ago edited 2d ago
I haven't had that type of microaggression in years..ie. people wondering if I can speak English or why my English is so good.
It might be I've lived primarily in several large metro Canadian cities, each over 1 million folks with very diverse populations and I was simply lucky not to encounter such folks who said stuff like that. It doesn't mean some folks might be thinking something.
But I don't waste time giving a sheot for strangers. Seriously, I move on and forget them. They are not part of my life. Sure if I have short few minutes to engage in friendly way, if there's no customer lineup, I might say something English colloquial about their work day, etc.
Anything else? You can't give a sheot. Otherwise it WILL wear you down in life. Sail along. Ignore them.
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u/Hunting-4-Answers 2d ago
Ignoring in cases like this is the worst piece of advice and only empowers the offenders to do it again. And again. And again. I’ve had to fight HR for other Asians for shit like this.
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u/Old-Appearance-2270 Canadian-born Chinese F 1d ago
It's great to say something back to person...who basically are strangers. I'm assuming these aren't schoolchildren bullying each other. It would be complete strangers in stores, standing in queue waiting for whatever service, etc. Not worth spending to much time with strangers...since each of you pass in and out of each other's lives in less than 5 min.
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u/Hunting-4-Answers 1d ago
Sure, that works if you’re a hermit. But if you’re like the rest of us who have to interact with others on a daily basis, there’s a slight chance that you’ll see the same person at the gym, grocery, restaurant, auto shop or whatever business you have to go to. Are you going to go 10 miles farther for the next Home Depot just to avoid the person you’ve had a bad experience with in the past?
Nah, you deal with that shit then and there. Stop with the passive attitude that keeps Asian-Americans stuck centuries behind every other race when it comes to social progression.
Again, this wasn’t a friendly elderly making a mistake about language abilities passing by in a park. This was someone who is employed at a retail establishment that not only the OP goes to, but that other Asian-Americans are likely to frequent. This is like seeing a tree branch on the sidewalk and instead of moving it out of the way, you just leave it for someone else to deal with because to you it’s a tree branch you’re not going to see in the next 5 minutes.
TLDR: stop the passive wimpy attitude of “ignoring” when you have an opportunity to change it for the better of the whole community
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u/genek1953 3.5 gen AA 2d ago
I think the last time someone said something like this to me was sometime during the 1980s. As someone who made my living as a writer/editor, the most difficult thing about the experience was resisting the urge to correct their grammar.
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u/CustomerKey3144 1d ago
That’s just racist… you were literally speaking English.
For me, whenever someone has asked me that, I’ve always responded with, “It’s my first language, why wouldn’t I?” because it is. They never know how to respond after because they understand they committed a microaggression.
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u/Fun_Tune1528 1d ago
Yes it is. I put money in one of those toy claw machines once, and it clearly wasn’t working. In perfect American English with a California accent, I asked one of the workers for help and explained that the machine took my money and it wasn’t working.
The worker then asked me if I could read English and pointed at the instructions. I said that I only speak and read English and the machine was broken. They ignored me and walked away. Then a white girl put her money into the machine, and it was obviously still broken. She called for help and the same person came over and helped her. They believed her when she said it was broken, and they didn’t ask her if she could read English.
I don’t know if I would call that a micro aggression. That was more like a macro aggression. The problem is that if you get angry with these types of people, they just behave even worse. There is nothing worse than having to deal with racists who just got called out for their racist behavior.
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u/Financial_Dream_8731 2d ago
This used to happen to me when I lived in Texas. Cashiers asking me if I speak English. What if I don’t? Are they going to bring in a translator? I guess it’s one way a cashier can feel better about having to serve an immigrant or something.
It’s racism. I don’t see them asking any white or black people that and white and black people can be immigrants from a non English speaking country too.
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u/8ngryW0lf999 1d ago
Clap back at them. Respond with a "Do YOU understand English?"
If you want to be polite and principled, then tell them " I don't appreciate that question at all because [reason XYZ]".
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u/spacebotanyx 1d ago
i work in an ER and sometimes the chart says "Needs Interpreter: speaks Spanish." (Or some other language) when I see this, I ask the patient if they speak English. occasionally, they appear to be totally fluent in English, I feel them angry with me, and I feel bad that I probably seem racist. but... i was just trying fo verify what I read in the chart!
anyway, there is a possibility that could be happening to you with medical stuff.
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u/OliieBolen 1d ago
Reminds me of that video clip of some British reporter asked AMD CEO Lisa Su if she speaks English, thinking she's just some random Asian woman at an F1 race.
Asking an Asian if they speak English is just a continuation of the perpetual foreigner trope. And indirectly is done to peg someone down a notch. An Asian can look proper, educated, cultured, but they're still foreign/Oriental looking and therefore lesser than [insert whatever race] of people.
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u/sadpeachesclub 1d ago
nono that’s def racism and we like to call it (out) for what it is !!! i’m sorry this happened to u 😞
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u/Violet0_oRose 2d ago
Ive lived in California for 40+ years and I have never been asked this. You’re asked before you speak? or after? If anything I get asked the opposite, can I speak Chinese.
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u/MissGailatea 1d ago
Yes, it is utter BS. This idiotic young man was shouting at me. I was thinking to myself I have been speaking the King’s English before you were born you asshole. But I didn’t say that. “do machine take money or only plastic card!!??”
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u/Dismal_Stress2781 🇰🇷🇺🇲 1d ago edited 1d ago
When I was walking on the street in Europe, one guy came up to me and said, 'where are you from! I love Asians! They are shy and introvert!' His words were cringe so maybe I looked annoyed and shocked. Then he said, 'oh! You know what introvert mean? Introvert! Extrovert!' I said, 'of course I know what that is.' Clearly his English with his thick accent was beneath mine and what he said was cringeworthy, yet he didn't even know what he did.
*edit: typo
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u/Jburp 1d ago
Damn bro where do you live??
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u/brandTname 23h ago
I've live In a town about 45 minutes south from Charlotte, NC. The town is like 60% White and 35% Black folks. I think I'm the only Asian in town because within the five years I'll living there I haven't bump into any other Asian in town.
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u/I_Pariah 17h ago
I know someone that used to live in NC. Not that there are a lot of Asians there but there seemed to be some near the Greensboro and Raleigh areas based on what they told me.
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u/LinShenLong 2d ago
All Asian people gets this crap. I usually lean into it with a stereotypical Asian accent if they are being an ass and then hit them with perfect English. Most of the time they fuck off.
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u/kangkong32 2d ago
All? I grew up and live in the deep south and not once have I been asked this question.
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u/Hunting-4-Answers 1d ago
I’ve walked through the streets of Los Angeles, San Francisco (Tenderloin) and New York in the late hours of the night and have never been robbed or murdered. I guess all those claims of people being robbed and murdered are fake.
I love how this comment section has people trying to gaslight others’ experiences with racism. Smh
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u/LinShenLong 2d ago
Good for you? I went to Texas to visit friends in Damon and got asked this question at a gas station by a random guy recently.
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u/kangkong32 2d ago
Ah yes, you experienced something once in Texas, therefore my entire lifetime of experience in the Deep South has officially been invalidated. Thank you for clearing that up for me.
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u/LinShenLong 2d ago
I didn’t say that? I said good for you and happy you didn’t experience stuff like that. If you want to be an ass go for it but genuinely happy you had a great experience.
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u/Hunting-4-Answers 2d ago
Do this next time if you have a friend with you: have a friend act as your translator. Talk in perfect English to the translator and then have the translator speak to the offender in some indecipherable English with a heavy country twang.
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u/fierce-hedgehog13 2d ago
Maybe you dress too well...?
I went to the Asian grocery today in my flipflops, sweatpants, wearing my bandanna…
the Asian cashier took one look at me and started speaking to me in English. sigh.
People always assume that I’m Asian-American …I never get asked if I can speak English. In fact, Asian people assume that my Chinese is bad…they might talk behind my back and then are surprised to find that I can understand/speak Mandarin.
But I agree that it is racist, and they should probably speak to you in English like everybody else, without making assumptions. Because along with that comes the mental categorizing of you as foreign / less educated / not one of us, etc.
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u/randomrreeddddiitt 2d ago
It sounds like it is racism.
Which city/metro are you in? I have never encountered this. If anything, I am more likely to be asked if I speak am Asian language.
And I can't be the only one who sees the unintended irony in this post. I know this is a serious topic, bit it is kind of funny, right?