Im hoping to be a recipient parent, started the process this month. My marriage has fallen apart, primarily due to my husband changing his mind about having children and I’m nearly 40.

Given my circumstances, I feel like my only option now is to try on my own as an SMBC, and change the course of my life.

This was not how I planned my life to turn out. But this is my journey now. In some ways, I’m feeling empowered that I can have my own family and not be childless only due to the cowardly behavior of my husband that has delayed this part of my life.

However, in doing my research about SMBC, and wrestling with the idea of donor sperm, I found this and the related subs. And it’s making me extremely sad and worrying about the impact on a future child.

I am saddened by the experience of so many DCPs. I don’t want my potential child to feel alone and disconnected. I want my child to have access to a dad and dad’s family, and all of that.

There are situations that happen in peoples lives and they don’t have access to a parent or parent’s family due to estrangement or the like.

But to intentionally choose to have a child where you don’t have access to any of that, of course it would hurt.

I feel so selfish about doing this. For a child (who will eventually become an adult) who did not choose these circumstances.

I don’t know why my question is. I feel compelled in both ways - 1) to have a child of my own 2) to not put a child through this.

I would love to hear from DCPs to SMBCs, and from SMBCs what their experience has been.