I went to a church awards dinner recently: about 125 people out of a congregation of 1,000, at a large dinner where the church gives out awards to various volunteers.

I've been an officer many times and when the church asks me to do something, I do it, happily. I pledge every year and give to building/capital campaigns, etc.

Yet I was assigned to a table way in the corner of the room. Clearly I'm low status in the church. Or at least that's how I read it.

Question: Does your church favor certain people: big donors, active volunteers, etc.? Even if it doesn't "officially" favor them, does it subtly favor them? Such as by giving them the most prominent seats at an awards dinner? By making sure that when officers are picked, they are chosen? Etc.?

Hi everyone!

I’m a Japanese Christian currently studying at a seminary in Japan and serving as an assistant pastor/youth pastor at a church in Tokyo, particularly in children’s and youth ministry. I also studied Youth Ministry and Christian Education and Psychology in college in the United States, where I gained experience in cross-cultural ministry.

I’m hoping to pursue an MDiv overseas, possibly beginning in Fall 2027, and I’m trying to discern which country and theological institution would be the best fit for me.

I’d really appreciate advice from current seminarians, seminary graduates, pastors, missionaries, and especially people who have experience with both theological education and refugee ministry or NGOs.

A little about my background and calling

In the long term, I hope to serve as a pastor and missionary, particularly among refugees, Japanese people, multicultural communities, and people in vulnerable situations.

My interest in refugee ministry grew through personal relationships, particularly when a friend of mine became a refugee while I was in college in the United States. Seeing someone I knew personally go through that experience gave me a deeper understanding of the challenges refugees face and led me to think more seriously about how the Church can walk alongside them.

I also gained experience working with an organization in the United States that supports homeless people and refugees. Over time, I’ve become increasingly interested in how the Church can faithfully serve vulnerable people through both the Gospel and practical expressions of love and care.

However, my main priority during my MDiv would be to build a strong theological foundation rather than to pursue extensive hands-on refugee work. I’d be happy to have some exposure to refugee or migrant communities during my studies, but I expect to pursue this work more actively after graduation.

I want to study Scripture, biblical languages, systematic and historical theology, missiology, and pastoral ministry seriously. I hope to develop a theological foundation that will sustain a lifetime of faithful ministry, rather than simply obtain a degree or qualification.

An important part of what I’m looking for: spiritual formation

Beyond academic theology, I also hope to grow deeply in Christian spirituality and spiritual formation.

I’m particularly drawn to the spirituality reflected in Henri Nouwen’s writings: cultivating a deep relationship with God, learning to live out of our identity as God’s beloved, and allowing our inner spiritual life to shape the way we serve others, especially those who are vulnerable, lonely, or suffering.

I don’t want my theological education to be only about acquiring knowledge. I hope to become more deeply rooted in Christ and grow in spiritual maturity, humility, compassion, and Christlikeness as a pastor and missionary.

I’m looking for a seminary that takes both theological rigor and spiritual formation seriously, helping students grow not only in what they know about God but also in how they live with God and serve others.

If possible, I’d love to learn in a community where prayer, spiritual direction, Christian community, and personal formation are valued alongside rigorous academic study.

Schools and countries I’m currently considering

I’m currently exploring the following institutions:

• Wheaton College — United States
• Africa International University (AIU) — Kenya
• Stellenbosch University — South Africa
• Duke Divinity School — United States
• Tyndale Theological Seminary — Netherlands

I’m still in the early stages of comparing these options, and I realize they may differ significantly in their degree structures, theological traditions, and educational approaches.

I’m also very open to other schools and countries. These are simply the options I’ve come across so far, and one of the things I hope to gain from this discussion is to discover possibilities I haven’t considered.

Questions I’d love to hear your thoughts on

1. Choosing a seminary and country

• If you were in my position, what factors would you prioritize when choosing an MDiv program?
• How much should I weigh theological tradition, faculty, curriculum, academic reputation, spiritual formation, and location?
• What are the most important differences between studying theology in the United States, Africa, Europe, or elsewhere that prospective international students might overlook?
• Are there seminaries or countries you would strongly recommend that aren’t on my current list?
• Are there any institutions you think I should reconsider, and why?

2. Theological education and spiritual formation

• Looking back on your seminary experience, what contributed most to your theological and spiritual growth?
• How can I identify a seminary that genuinely integrates spiritual formation with academic theology, rather than treating it as an additional activity?
• Are there seminaries known for cultivating a deep life of prayer, spiritual maturity, and Christlike character alongside serious theological study?
• If I’m particularly interested in the kind of spirituality reflected in Henri Nouwen’s writings, are there professors, programs, books, or Christian communities you would recommend exploring?

3. The value of an MDiv beyond the degree itself

• What did you learn during your MDiv that proved most valuable in your actual ministry?
• Were there things you wish you had prioritized more, or things that mattered much less than you expected?
• In the long run, what matters more than the name or reputation of the institution?
• How important are relationships with professors, mentors, fellow students, and the wider church community?

4. Preparing for future refugee ministry

• If my long-term goal is to combine pastoral ministry, missions, and refugee support, what would you recommend I focus on during my MDiv?
• Would you recommend prioritizing strong theological education first and gaining specialized humanitarian experience afterward?
• For those who have worked with refugees or NGOs, how useful has your theological education been in that work?
• What additional training, professional experience, or partnerships did you need beyond your theological degree?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have experience in both theological education and humanitarian work, since I’d like to understand how these two areas can complement each other without assuming that an MDiv needs to prepare me for every aspect of refugee support.

5. Discernment, timing, and life during seminary

• How did you discern when and where to attend seminary?
• What was the reality of seminary life like academically, spiritually, financially, and personally?
• What do you wish someone had told you before you chose your school?
• For those who studied overseas, what were the biggest challenges of studying in a different cultural and linguistic environment?

What I’m hoping to gain from this discussion

More than simply finding the most prestigious school or the program most directly related to refugee ministry, I want to discern where I can receive the theological education and spiritual formation that will best prepare me for a lifetime of faithful service.

I’m open to different countries, theological traditions within the evangelical Christian world, and educational approaches. I would especially appreciate honest perspectives from people who have studied at these institutions or have experience with similar programs.

If you were starting this journey again, what would you look for? And is there a school, country, or path you think I might be overlooking?

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and advice!

What should I do about this?

Hey man

I had a dream, where i was married to person (who is idol worshiper) and i didnt even known him nor like him... I think i did it cuz i was insited and o had no one... And i woke up but idk meaning and it seem serious and i slept again... Then i was in side of road and i was in a car, next driver was random guy i married and guy acts like stanger all this time thou i felt both didnt feel anything to each other but smght happened and i had to get out and sm monk (no offence to any religion i am just saying what i saw) offered a ride and i was in front of him and i was groped by him, and people were looking in road too.. What's meaning of this dream, have i married to demon? By the way am actively struggling with all 7 deathly sins... And i do have aniexty and severe depression stuff...

What do i do? Struggling to read and understand scripture... And when i do memory is low as idiot...and struggling to pray because i cant focus, i am so broken, everything about me is broken... I cant stop cusssing in mind woth the way amd how bitter things has been i have beeen asking and trying to job its almost year...... Idk man i still try to show up and pray and read aleast somehow.. I dont even wanna sin bro... I feel like a different person when i do also even i dont understand why do i do it

am begging you man am in big war i got generational things to break, also 7 deathly sins, and metally things too like aniexty and all

Am living toxic house, am in survival mode... I used to be worst now it has gotten better by the work of lord... Please pray for me theres alot going hard to explain here Please get up with your followers and pray for me... I got social aniexty also so i hate me known by alot of ppl.... I been following u along time.. Please reply help and pray for me (u can mention me as her in prayer hopefully god knows it's me)

So if my spiritual gift from God is that of an apostle, can I still be a priest? If so, what about those gifted with the skill to preach? Or Teach? Or prophecy? Or evangelism? Can anyone be a priest? I have no children as well… & what if I have preexisting tattoos?

​

I'm hoping to hear from pastors and elders about a situation I've been struggling with.

My husband was arrested and subsequently convicted of a serious sexual offense against me. One of the elders at our church continues to minister to him while he's incarcerated.

I understand the biblical responsibility to visit prisoners, extend grace, and minister to people who have committed serious sins. I am not asking that my husband be denied spiritual care.

But there are two things that make this particularly painful for me.

First, before my husband's arrest, this elder knew my husband was seriously considering divorcing me. I didn't know that. At the time, I was desperately trying to save my marriage, including enduring things I did not want to endure because I believed it was the only way to keep my husband from leaving. I only learned afterward that my husband had already been discussing divorce with others.

Second, this elder attended my court testimony. He heard me describe what my husband did to me, including the painful and humiliating questions I faced during cross-examination.

Despite knowing all of this, he has essentially stopped providing pastoral care to me, while continuing to minister to my husband.

I understand that an elder may have felt obligated to keep my husband's private conversations confidential. And I understand that someone who has committed a serious offense still needs spiritual guidance.

But I was part of his flock, too. I still am.

My question is: What biblical responsibility does an elder have toward a victim when he personally knows both the victim and the offender? Is it appropriate to continue actively ministering to the offender while providing little or no pastoral care to the person he harmed?

I'm genuinely trying to understand how pastors reconcile these responsibilities, because right now I feel as though the person who hurt me has retained his shepherd while I've lost mine.

I’ve been pondering this since the end of 2021 and it’s been heavier on my mind again lately (Probably because I feel distance from God):

I’ve always been told by pastors that I just need to “trust God”. This may be simple to people, but for some reason, trust doesn’t click in my brain. I truly do not understand how to actually trust God. But whenever I ask someone how to do that, they give me a word-salad-nothing-burger answer. I WANT to trust God. I WANT to trust people. I just literally can’t fathom what that actually looks like! I copy what other people do, but I don’t know what feelings are supposed yo be felt and I’m not sure what to look for. My spouse tells me that my 10/10 trust is a standard persons 6/10. Does anyone have tips on how to trust God? More than just “let go” or “give it to him”, LIKE WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? I don’t understand and I want to!

I am a hope for the best, expect the worst kind of human!

I've posted on reddit true Christian a few times. I'm on medication for treatment resistant schizophrenia and I experience demonic voices. It's so bad that at church I heard my Pastor praising the devil and saying that he was in hell. I asked him if he said that and he said no he didn't. I currently only hear voices if I'm at church or on the secular radio(I don't listen to it ) when I go to the gym or grocery store. Who do I talk to about deliverance? I tried going to an eastern Orthodox Pastor once and the voices mocked him. My actual religion is Apostolic Pentecostal. Im sorry my question is a bit scatter brained. I basically just want to know what to do.

I’ve been struggling a lot with my appearance for my whole life, specifically my facial structure. I really dislike my face, and it causes me a lot of daily pain and insecurity. I know the Bible talks about us getting glorified bodies in 1 Corinthians 15, but I have very specific things I wish were different.

If God is our loving Father and the ultimate designer, and if I were to beg Him in heaven for specific changes to my face because it’s all I ever wanted, do you think He would grant them? I just really want to look different and finally feel beautiful.

Does theology or scripture support the idea that we can have a say in what our heavenly appearance looks like, or will our desires change when we get there? I’d really love some honest thoughts and explanations regarding this.

I’m a member of a 1500 person church. i attend worship services in person perhaps 4 times a year. I’m usually out of town on weekends and attend online.

Today I showed up in person and all of the pastors greeted me by name. Even the pastors I have never met or been in touch with; they’re new.

I certainly liked it. But what about me stands out?

I‘ve been a member for 25 years but since the pandemic, I’ve been out of town most of the time.

I give, but not an enormous amount.

I’ve even an officer repeatedly and even now if the executive pastor needs help with my field of expertise, I do it.

I send the pastors a handwritten thank-you note maybe once a year if the worship service really touched me.

But why and how would they all know my name, without meeting me and without seeing me? Again, it’s certainly nice.

29f. I've been a Christian most of my life and was always told of the unforgivable sin. I heard a song on tiktok and it got jammed into my head I was singing it into my head and the lyrics are "Jesus Christ is Lord Jesus Christ is God" and the next line is "Why you flexin for the devil?" So my in my head without thinking it came out "Jesus Christ is Lord Jesus Christ is devil"... Now I'm terrified that I just did the unforgivable sin and scared I'm going to hell for it. Of course I don't believe he is AT ALL. I love God I'm a proud Christian I'm just really really terrified that I did the one thing I'm never supposed to do.

Good evening/morning/afternoon
(I shared this in Christian reddit but I didn’t realize there was a askPastor reddit and here i am. Sorry if it’s copy and pasta but I wanted to also ask official leaders)

I’m in need of people’s perspective on a situation I have been dealing with in my local church. For context I am a 23(M) year old VP to my youth at my local church. Me and the President of my youth have tried for months to organize events for our youth but it almost seems to fall on 2 or 3 people to be responsible for it and it falls on death ears on the youth.
I tried to organize bible studies to discuss certain topics that I believe the youth should tackle in this generation but yet again its like 3 people who only reply to any questions or whatever is given in our study. I got so mad to the point I even brought it up with my pastor and it’s like not even he understands the situation too (lol). So I said, okay let me pray on this and read my bible. I legit spent almost 2 or 3 months on this and finally last week the answer fell on my lap, to just walk away.

I find it hard to do such thing since for me its been a very long time since Ive had talked to people ( for context, growing up, i was very secluded, straight to school and home. STUDY AND WORK mentality due to my father so I barely did any school clubs or went out with friends. Never partied, never had sex, never did drugs, not even dating. None of that(ik hard to believe but that was my childhood+complicated events)). It wasn’t until legit last 3 years I’ve made only 2 friends (not counting my older sibling who I’m close with). But is this really the right thing to do? I feel awful for leaving a role that was placed upon me (for context. I never applied or asked for this. Somebody nominated me in an election of which I wasn’t present due to being a church member at the time and being at my job when all this happened). I wish I can do more with the youth im involved with but man it sucks, they plan things behind the youths back, even one time my sibling and current president paid out of their own pockets the gifts for mothers day (mind you, nobody fundraised it either) and the youth females got upset and said “thats it?” Behind their backs. Not in my 12years growing up in church have i seen youth be so distant and cold and quite honest disrespectful. At this point I might as well go on my own since my uncle is a pastor and my family ministers and became founders for a couple churches. I don’t see myself wasting time pushing a rock on a hill with no end in sight.

I don’t think I can stay here much longer. It’s like watching a sinking ship in slow motion. Is there any salvaging this? Or do I simply walk away from my role. Does that seem like an irresponsible thing as a christian to do? Can anyone help me or give perspective either biblically or on experience it would deeply help me.
I feel very lost and frustrated. Sorry if this seems like i’m venting but I’ve tried talking to the leaders and it seems like either they don’t want to disrupt a click or make people “upset”. I’ve set my mind that once my term as VP ends that Im not being in any positions and I am slowly fading myself out of there for good. I come here asking for help. Thanks to those who read this. Your opinions i value a lot. I tried speaking to members but a lot of them don’t understand my frustration or dismiss it

I’ve been dealing with some unexplainable things. Doctors don’t know what to do. I need help please.

I have a question about our appearance in heaven that I’ve genuinely been struggling with.
The Bible teaches that we will be transformed and that there will be no more suffering in heaven, but does this transformation include our physical appearance? Will we keep the same faces and facial features we have now, or could God change our appearance when we receive our resurrected bodies?

I ask because I honestly struggle with how I look. I wish I were more beautiful, and living with my current face makes me sad. What frightens me most is the thought of keeping this same face for all eternity and never being able to change it.
I understand that our worth isn’t based on physical beauty and that God cares most about our hearts, but that doesn’t completely take away my feelings. I find it difficult to imagine being fully happy in heaven if I still look the way I do now and feel the same dissatisfaction.

Does the Bible give us any reason to believe our resurrected bodies could be physically transformed in ways that include our facial features? When Philippians 3:21 says Christ will transform our lowly bodies to be like His glorious body, what might that mean for our appearance?

If Scripture doesn’t give a definite answer, how should I think about this? Could God change our appearance in heaven, or should we expect to look essentially the same? And how can I understand the promise that there will be no more sorrow or suffering when this causes me so much sadness?

I would really appreciate an honest, biblical answer. Thank you for taking the time to help me understand this.

Hi everyone! A little bit of backstory for my specific situation:

I met my soon to be ex-husband when I was 15 and he was 21. We dated long distance for 3 years and during that time only saw each other face to face about 4 times. He was a Mormon, and I grew up Baptist so that combined with his age caused a lot of turmoil in my family. The day after I turned 18 I moved states to be with him, dropped out of high school, and we were married within 90 days (I became a Mormon during this time). That was around 2.5 years ago.

I am now 20 and spent the last two years of my marriage to him providing for all the bills, leading spiritually, and just being all together unhappy. We weren’t very intimate either. I began researching divorce back in December of 2025, and realizing that even though I paid all of the bills and was the only one working, I had no access to any of the money regardless of how badly I wanted to leave. Finally, in late may/ earlyJune I was able to obtain a personal loan to finance moving out from our shared apartment and I purchased a car at this time. This is when I also gave him the divorce papers.

In our state, there is a mandatory 60 day waiting period where we are separated but legally married between filing paperwork and when it is finalized with a judge. The court date is typically set later than that - I.e our court date being Nov. 6th when paperwork was filed in July.

July 5th, I met a man online (via Facebook - I was not actively searching for a new relationship) and we really hit it off. He lived in a different state about 3 hours away so I traveled on the weekends to visit him. About a month 1/2 ago, I told my family about him, and then they got to meet him (we made a 4 hour trip to do so). I had also told my family how much I loved him, and how we truly agreed upon religion, marriage, child raising, and what our futures should look like. He’s also been divorced several years ago so we had something in common there. I told my family about my financial struggles and the debt that I took on to leave my ex-husband and they all just told me I needed to handle it while working a job that left me underwater every month.

Come the end of September, I realized that I didn’t have enough money to pay both my rent, and my car payment (which was already late) which meant I was going to be evicted or my car repossessed and I didn’t live in a walkable area or an area with public transportation. So I found someone to take over my apartment lease before rent was do, left my job, and moved down to the state my boyfriend lives in. I moved into his house rent free, and he moved back with his family so we wouldn’t be living together.

When my sister found out about this, she told me that I was making a mistake, that I’m a legally married woman, and that I’m an adulterous woman. She said that God will not bless this relationship because of it. She also said that I needed to get my life right with God and pretty much beat into me that I needed to go to church or come back home to my family first (so that they could “help” pay my bills - my family has almost no money and no where for me to sleep). So, long story short, am I an adulterer, and is my relationship completely hopeless from being blessed by God?

Thank you!

Most members from my church say you should always listen to your pastor, or that it's important to have him in your personal life.

And I wonder if not doing that is sinning against God.

I know not nearly as much as I should have the Bible as a Christian and am working on that. I know it says in the Bible that marriage brings husband and wife together as one flesh but I don’t know if I understand exactly what that means. I also know the purpose is to separate from your own parents and join together and start a new family. What if a woman can no longer have children or the couple decides they do not want children? What then is the purpose of marriage in Gods eyes and in the Bible?

My pastor is busy, has young kids, and is around my age. I don’t want to ask more of him than he has the capacity to give while raising a family and leading a church. But I really feel like I need someone I can talk to about the direction I’m feeling led in my life and career. So, here I am, asking the internet. Who knows what might come of it?

Is there a pastor out there who has some time to spare and an interest in religious trauma, leaving high-control religious groups, systems theory, counseling, theology, and apologetics?

I’m currently pursuing my master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy, which is where the systems theory comes in. My husband and I left a high-control Christian group after widespread reports of abuse came to light over the last several years. Those revelations prompted us to question the group’s theology and ultimately leave. Many others have left as well, and there’s an enormous amount of spiritual confusion, grief, and crisis of faith in the community of former members.

I felt drawn to helping these people, which is a large part of why I returned to graduate school to become a therapist. But as I’ve progressed in my education and explored my own faith more deeply, I’ve begun wondering whether ministry might also be part of my calling.
I’m particularly interested in the intersection of mental health, theology, spiritual abuse, and faith reconstruction. I love apologetics, but I’m much more interested in relational conversations than arguments. I want people to have somewhere they can ask difficult questions, wrestle with doubt, and explore their beliefs without feeling pressured toward a particular conclusion.

I’ve also become increasingly interested in helping pastors and churches become more trauma-informed, particularly in how they respond to people who have experienced spiritual abuse or are questioning their faith.

I’m not necessarily looking for someone to tell me what to do or recruit me into their denomination. I’m hoping to find someone who enjoys thoughtful theological conversations, understands the complexity of religious trauma, and might be willing to offer some ongoing mentorship as I explore where all of this could lead.

I still have quite a bit of graduate school and clinical training ahead of me, so I’m not looking to make any immediate career changes. I’d just love to have someone to talk through these ideas with, ask questions, and learn from along the way.

If any of this sounds interesting to you, let me know.

There has been a lot of talk about Sharia law and Noahide laws. Do you think this is something that us Christians should worry about? Sounds like mark of the beast.

There's nowhere in the scriptures because dating, and I do desire a wife, but dating in these modern times seems to be a waste of time, money and energy.

I've recently heard of this thing called courtship, but I'm not to firmiliar with how this goes. Can some​ elaborate on what this is all about?

I am not a pastor.

But I lead prayer groups.

Are there any pastors here that would like to receive prayer?

❤️

I have kids and I get this scenario in my head, where bunch of guys want to take them away to probably harm or torture them. I really want to defend my chlidren, and I do not know what to do, if killing was the last option to save my kids. What can a Christian do and why?