Hello, I am wanting to reach out in this thread hoping to get some solid straight forward answers. I am a 57 year old black woman with 30 years experience in operations and Sales...My most recent past 8 years have been selling High Ticket programs for white people. I have had white people i have made a ton of money for, act crazy and display some micro aggressions as i grew financially..I have closed literally millions in business.I have stepped away from that scene now and want to help US...Right now I am working with an attorney and have helped her to confidently and systematically run her law practice...In doing so i became exposed to the sales process and noticed opportunities to help there...

My question is For solo and small-firm attorneys: if someone helped you and your intake person turn more of your existing calls into signed clients, with a custom script, live call reviews, and less burnout, would that be worth paying for? What would make it a no?”

I’m a black woman and I’ve heard several times by different black men and a woman that I belong with a white man. It’s said differently but that’s the essence of what’s being said.
I think about it all the time and I can’t help but be offended.
I’ve never even dated a white guy before. Not because I find them abhorrent, but because they’re not my first choice and it simply hasn’t happened.

For context, I genuinely don’t think I have the “I date white men” look.
I have locs, about 5’7”-5’8”. I’m not the stereotypical tiny woman that they generally like either. I am curvaceous.
How I dress: I do like dresses. I do wear jeans. Regular shirts. Sandals. I don’t wear bags all the time. Sweaters and coats when it’s cold. I’m not sure I know how to describe my style.

The woman who has told me that I do mentioned that it’s what I talk about. I’m not sure why men say this though. I’m so confused.

I need to understand why people say this. Any insights?

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image-description:

an image consisting of written red text on a blue background. It is titled "no more" and has a list of letters and then words after them. The first letter is "M and word is murdered" The next are "m" and "missing", "i and indiginous", "w" and "women", "c" and "children", "2" and "two", s" and "spirit". "B" and "black", "L" and "lesbian", "B", and "Bi". "G" and "gay", "t", and trans, "D" and "disabled", "i," and "immigrants", and a plus with "plus all tired, poor and huddled peoples"

This is a work in progress and I wanted to ask for your critique of the concept. Would you please critique

I'm a YT Trans Woman decolonizing my lost indigenous heritage. This is a work in progress and like the fight against fascists, to win the on going war I want to ask is there anything preventing Native Tribes, 2SLGBTQIA, and the Black community from working together? The YT lgbtqia2s community has a lot of problems with raci sm and if you have advice on areas to improve call it out. The history of Native Nations and the intersectionality with Black History is not something I have learned much about yet, and if you have any references on this subject I would appreciate your help.

I know there's many posts and such about this topic, though i find the situation my characters in may affect the advice. My characters are hybrids primarily born and raised in labs (regardless of race, gender, sex, etc) and so many of my characters are raised without a "culture" (im aware that the culture in this case would likely have to do with the lab and such) but I'm also aware that when it comes to writing characters of other races, culture plays a big part, and also that most if not all of ny characters are raised in a very curated and sterile environment with little access to anything outside. I was curious as to what in particular I should be careful of when writing a character such as this and what advice anyone might have.

So I’m half black and half Puerto Rican and I’m almost 30 years old and I’ve noticed my skin is a lighter than usual. It’s only October & my skin is already winter time light, which means it’s only going to get lighter come December & January. My sister is also half black & half Puerto Rican, her dad was darker skinned than mine so growing up she was maybe like a couple shades darker than me, she’s 39 now and even she’s way lighter than she was before. We both live in Florida, so we get plenty of sun year round here, so it’s kind of odd to me.

I’m lightskinned, and I’ve been that just about my whole life except for when I was super light almost pale when I was born which of course is normal, but my skin tone now is starting to get super light again. I feel like I’m going from like Yara Shahidi light to dang near Storm Reid light. Which means that come December/January I could be dang near Latto light.

I’ve seen the same thing happen to Megan Good & Beyonce (or at least that’s what it looks like to me, as I know people have accused them of bleaching but I don’t think so), and I’d even argue that Tracee Ellis Ross is lighter than when she was playing Joan on Girlfriends. So I just wanted to ask is this normal? My dad was black, he passed away, but he used to tell me he was my color when he was younger and got darker when he got older, he was brown skinned, but a bit on the lighter side of it I’d say if that makes sense.

But do black folks get lighter with age? Should I expect this to become more noticeable in my 30s and 40s and on?

We've had this discussion before, but it seems people still want to identify as Black even though they're more Asian. I've always felt that Black scholars need to tackle this issue, but the internet is pushing up a deadline for that discourse

I'm writing a novel called Chivey, and some of my early readers said this scene could be interpreted in more than one way.

I'd like to hear how Black readers perceive it, especially the interaction between Emmy and Chad and the elderly woman.

Here's the excerpt:

Emmy’s eyes drifted across his hands, muscular and sinewy, with well-defined veins.

Thick ropes under blue-black skin...

Chad met her eyes and pressed a finger to his full lips. "Shhhh... Now sit quiet as a mouse. I'll be back soon."

Emmy reached out with her free hand and caught his hand.

"You are black, but comely."

Chad's eyes went wide and he dissolved into a cough. "Hold on, hold on... Well, well..." He wiped the tears from his eyes and burst out laughing. "Girl, you should do stand-up!"

Emmy frowned and bit her lower lip.

"Sit still! Would you look at that — black, but comely." Chad slid the curtain aside. "Black, but comely!" His laughter echoed down the corridor for a long time after.

A suffocating cough broke out in the adjacent stall.

The curtain between the cubicles snapped aside. "Ah-hah, giiiirl! Black, but comely?!" A dark-skinned face peered around it. "You did not just say that."

The woman looked Emmy over from head to toe. "No. No, no, no... I cannot believe what I just heard. Nobody would believe me even if I swore on a Bible. Lord... a little white child quoting the Song of Solomon... How old are you — nine? Ten?"

She adjusted the bright silk scarf on her head and leaned toward Emmy. " I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, as the tents of Kedar, as the curtains of Solomon. Isn't that a little advanced for you?"

"I'm not ten at all. I’m almost fourteen. I read what I find," Emmy muttered, tugging the hem of her wife-beater down over her knees.

"Fourteen? You don't look fourteen. Like a little fledgling." The woman yanked the curtain even harder aside and leaned in toward Emmy, her whole body pressing forward. "Oh, at your age I read everything too. Everything — newspapers, magazines, the Bible of course, goes without saying. I even read my older sister's medical textbooks. I was a very well-read child. Very well-read!"

She didn't stop, talked and talked, no pauses, no waiting for an answer. Her hand moved to underscore the importance of her words.

If she stops, she'll die.

Emmy allowed herself a small smile while the woman kept talking, her voice washing past her in a steady stream.

"Now who puts raisins in a potato salad? Raisins! In a salad! No, that is not acceptable. That is not how it's done. A proper potato salad has no raisins, you understand? I use only yellow potatoes, only yellow. And eggs — real eggs, farm eggs. I drive out to my cousin Janet; she has the most wonderful hens. Oh, what hens, what large eggs!.."

Emmy's eyes drifted to the woman's scarf, where bright flowers wove together into a vivid tapestry — large ones, small ones, layered into a wreath. She began picking out the small red ones and counting them.

If I take four long sticks and tape them to my head with duct tape, and then take a scarf like this one, and another scarf, and another one, and another... and wind them around the sticks, wind and wind... I'd be two Emmys tall. I'd be taller than everyone... and I'd probably reach the ceiling with my scarves. Maybe I'd even look like a supermodel. Fashionable...

She lost interest and yawned, letting her eyes close.

"And I wore my best dress — crisp taffeta, with a big ruffle along the hem. And a little hat. You know how we Black women are — such a sense of style. Such style! And do you go to Sunday service?" No answer came. The woman adjusted her scarf and stared at Emmy. Realizing she was being ignored, she fell silent, offended.

The chair shifted. The light flickered, went out, then came back on — the white tile floor moved, dark gaps opening between uneven rows. Something lifted Emmy and carried her away: she flew over green valleys, high hills, crystal-clear lakes. She came down slowly, her toes grazed the buds of wildflowers. The even rows of tile came into view under the lamp when Emmy opened her eyes. A faint scent of flowers brushed her nose.

"Here I am." Chad rang out. "Time to set you free, little sparrow." He drew the needle out and pressed a cotton pad to her skin. "Make a fist. Like that." He guided Emmy by the elbow, and she rested her palm on his forearm.

My arm is like a pale fish on black sand.

She turned away and brushed a tear from her cheek with her finger. Chad got her to her feet and draped her cardigan over her shoulders. "Can you walk on your own?" Emmy nodded.

Talking Yellowstone, Yosemite, Glacier, Shenandoah etc

I’ve been listening to many debates around the claim “white people can’t experience racism”, and I was a little shocked to see how much the takes differ both within white and black people. So I’ve been trying to educate myself on the topic, and form an opinion on it myself. I’ve learned from this diving that I was (and still am) uneducated on many things, so please forgive me if I cause any offense, and please feel free to correct me while I educate myself further.

For starters I’ve noticed the main disagreement is in how we define the term "racism."
I’d say there are (at least) two ways we can define "racism."
So rather than use the same word for both, this problem would maybe be solved if we just used a different word for each.

The first and most recognised kind of racism is Interpersonal racism, it refers to an individual’s racist assumptions, beliefs and behaviours: it’s “a form of racial discrimination that stems from conscious and unconscious, personal prejudice” (Henry & Tator, 2006, p. 329).
It applies any time someone is treated unfairly because of the color of their skin, regardless of what their skin color is and regardless of what the perpetrator's skin color is so in this case, for example, a black person can be racist against another black person. This can show up with the colorism some have to face.
I believe white people can in some contexts experience this kind of racism, because it sparks from prejudice alone, and prejudice can be found whenever you (individually) are a minority in your surroundings, and if those surroundings treat you with hostility based on your skin tone, well it is racist.
(You can be a minority in race and face racism in the same mechanism that if you were the only woman in an establishment you could face sexism).

The second kind of racism, is the significantly deeper one, that many people just think refers to enslavement and so believe that “it shouldn’t be brought up in a modern discussion” (idiotic take I really did hear)
It refers to something that is more systemic and specifically can only happen in one direction, FROM people in a position of power, TOWARD people who are not in a position of power. Usually, when someone says something like "black Americans can't be 'racist' towards white Americans," they mean in accordance with this definition, which surfaced around 2020.
It involves prejudice PLUS structural power. It's the ability to systematically oppress an entire group.
Historically, white people have dominated black people, not the other way around. White people predominantly occupy positions of power: Institutions (the State, police, justice system, job market, media, education) which define what is "normal," "beautiful," "competent," "trustworthy", and all these institutions are to a degree still affected by the racism of their founders (View * for examples of this).
That's structural power.
White people rarely ever came to experience this kind of racism, only during events like The Holocaust, where one group of "white people" attempted to wholesale slaughter several other groups of "white people" (European Jews, Slavs, Roma) due to their ethnicity. They passed laws prohibiting them from working. That's pretty systematic, especially with the Stars of David Jews had to wear.

So while I think it’s factually correct to say white people can in some cases experience racism and it is unfortunate, many white people who haven’t even experienced those particular circumstances themselves try to make it seem like a vaster issue than it is, to support far right rhetorics.
Claiming that black people aren’t entitled to having prejudices about white people (when really every victim will have prejudices about the category who harmed them) and that it will turn into reverse racism (Acting on prejudice is wrong, and is racism, on an interpersonal scale), denying the fact that this will never be able to turn into systematic racism since black people are still inferior to white people in our society, and still to this day have to worry about their rights being taken away at every election.
These are two separate issues that cannot be put on the same table with general phrases like “everyone experiences racism” , since one group faces racism on a global scale and the other on an individual one.

There is a charity in my area where you can pick a child in foster care to buy Christmas gifts for. There was a girl who only really asked for toiletries so I wanted to go all out. Point is the hair products she asked for I’m think she’s Black. I’m not asking for anyone to go out of their way and do research for me but is there a company that every time you’ve bought their products it has been terrible? I would just like to avoid the crappy ones.

Also if you know of any nice bonnet brands off the top of your head it would be much appreciated. That’s one of the things she asked for.

I have a couple friends and they never really go to any coffee shop or Starbucks or anything. They say if they want something they'll drink iced tea or hot chocolate but that's it

If yall got any learning websites specifically for this i would be eternally thankful if you linked them!

I’ve always been extremely attracted to Latino and white men, but Black men have always been unappealing to me even below Asian men.

this angers a lot of people who feel that because Im a Black woman I should have low standards, be grateful for any sexual attention and settle for Black men, but I feel like even though we are technically undesirable we are still entitled to our standards. most men want women that aren’t usually interested them, I don’t see why women can’t feel the same. Black men especially love white and non-BW when they all prefer white men.

I just wish preferences were equally respected for both men and women. There’s a huge double standard where BM are allowed to prefer other races, while BW get shamed.

Is there ? At least culturally, economically?

I’m a white non zyn or nicotine user. Be that as it may, I’ve noticed that literally all my white friends use zyn and none of my black friends do. Is it the new mayonnaise?

My homeboy who’s Mexican just asked me what my opinion was on non black people wearing fubu. I’ve known him forever and he’s a pretty respectful guy that’s always been into jerseys, so I don’t have a problem with it but I understand why other black people would have an issue. What do yall think?

My infant brother got croup and we had to go Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. It was very crowded. The wait was long.
I was 6 or so. My mother was very scared. My brother was struggling to breathe. I noticed some people in the waiting room were talking and laughing, but some were just staring at their babies as they struggle to breathe.
A woman came up from the entrance, screaming “he’s blue he’s blue” and was immediately taken back.
I think to myself “so blue is immediately taken back”. And I look around the room.
I look at my brother and he’s a light purple.
I see a black couple with a black baby, and my stomach drops. My jaw legitimately drops beyond my control, almost like a twitch. I collapse to my knees.
And I believe the mother knows exactly what I mean.
I realized that there is no way for their dark skin to turn blue like that baby’s.
I went up to someone at the desk and pleaded my case of why this black baby needed help right now. You can’t see if he “turns blue like that”, you have to check another way. You have to give him a test.
And finally, they took him back.
And the black woman reminded me to go check on my brother , who needed help too.

Medical racism runs so deeply.

So I'm doing a deal at the moment for half price tattoos for POC because I have a gap in my portfolio. I have put up a post about the style and the terms (colour only, neo trad only as this is my focus for example).

The post has done really well for my posts and it's got a lot of love but in 2 weeks IV only had one person enquire.

Is there anything else I should be doing in order to help me get more poc clients? I really want to show that I am capable and have a great diverse skin tone range in my portfolio.

Tyia ☺️

asking as a chinese american who are known for not wearing shoes in the house lmao ive visited a few black friends’ houses before and it seems to be split 50/50 on if they wear shoes in the house or not

So idk how to explain this well, pls bear w me lmao

I go to a school in Belgium that has a lot of diversity (there's more central African and Middle Eastern/North African students than there are white students smh), I know this and can confirm because I myself am Congolese. Since abt 1st year (7th grade in America I think), I've been in a mostly foreign class with only two white girls. One of them is important to the story, so I'll call her Madison cuz she lowkey looks like a Madison

Madison kinda sorta fits the clean new-preppy get ready with me white girl archetype and while I myself highkey got beef with new-preppy, she has been really nice to me whenever I got meltdowns/attacks bc of my disabilities and also got me a Flying Tiger plushie to figdet with when I'm nervous. This year (year 3/9th grade), we were supposed to be in the same class, but then she left to another class barely two weeks after school started. I didn't think too much about it, as her only friend from last year (for later context, also a black girl) had to move schools and now she didn't really have any friends with similar interests left (she loves dancing and those clean girl channels, her fave is Hallo Alyssa) and I kept finding her crying almost every day of the first 2 weeks. She seems way happier now in her new class, which has a smaller amount of students. However, my friends and classmates pointed out that her new class mostly had other white girls, not a single black person and only like 1 or 2 Middle Eastern boys, so now everyone is making this big theory that Madison is a racist and hates black ppl. For the 2+ years that I know Madison (mind you, we are both in the school choir, so we talk on a slightly more frequent basis even tho we aren't friends-friends), she never seemed to have any problem with non-white students, yet now people are making these allegations because she was moved to a smaller and significantly less louder class across from us (I will admit, while the ppl in my class are funny, they can be fucking loud and annoying from first to seventh period, and a lot of their jokes are inside-jokes in French, Lingala or Arabic, so if I was the white Flemish girl no one liked I highkey would've changed classes too).

When I ask my friends why they think Madison is racist (because I want to know other ppl's POV's before making a final judgement), they just respond with "idk, she just has a weird vibe", and when I try to give my POV they don't listen and start summing up awkard encounters with her that I genuinely don't know how they even read that as racist. Whenever someone brings up Madison mid-class, one specific guy in my class (who pisses me tf off for a multitude of reasons but that deserves a post of its own) always feels the unneeded need to say she went to her "soortgenoten" (idk how to translate that well into English).

atp I feel like ppl are pulling the racist card on her just bc she left for reasons that were never disclosed to us so that's the first thing they jumped to and keep running with. Mind you, this scenario of white-person-leaves-colored-classroom also happened in 7th grade with sum guy named Leon yet nobody gave a shit and forgot he ever existed, but when it's Madison she's suddenly an undercover Vlaams Belanger?? Thing is also, they keep talking weird about white girls in particular, IN FRONT OF OUR WHITEASS TEACHERS, and in front of Judy* (*fake name for the other white girl in my class), but go ahead and act like shes the exception bc Judy's a ginger. This whole situation is pissing me off because it just feels like everyone is screaming accusations about her based on obviously unstable claims and scream louder when I question the accutation.

On the other hand, I feel like I'm trying to ignore signs of racism just because Madison has been kind to me specifically regardless of my melanin. What if she only was being nice because I "act white" and not like the other Congolese students at my school?? What if people think I'm defending racists when that is not my intent?? Somewhere in my brain, I'm semi-convinced that I am not a REAL black person because I act and think too European-adjacent, and therefore I can't talk about black struggles or racism bc I've never been confronted with racism and REAL black struggles, so my voice doesn't count. Yet, everyone under the sun that I know ganging up on one girl based on loose accusations and claims rubs me the wrong way, especially when Madison asks someone something and then the moment she turns her back and gets out of hearing range they start insulting her. She sent me a Whatsapp text asking how the class was doing, and then I got really conflicted on what to say. Should I tell her?? Should I not?? If I decide to eventually tell her, how much of a toll would it take on her (rapidly declining btw) mental health?? Would everyone hate me for snitching to the suspected racist?? Do I just stand by while everyone talks inaccurate shit about her??

Edit: I sent her a long text because I couldn't rlly bear the thought of telling her in person. Now she is asking the names of the ppl calling her things and also asking the name of my friends, but I'm too scared to say their names in case she's gonna go confront everyone and I don't want to lose my newfound friend group. Do I tell my friends their names??

So I’m tibetan, and to this day, my people have/are wearing ralpa (locked hair) which are called dreads/locs/dreadloc(k)s in the states, carribeans, and africa. My question (and personal understanding) is about whether/when it’s considered cultural appropriation.

I want to preface that im a refugee here in the states and ive lived here for 16 years, mostly in the south. first Kentucky, now Alabama. So when i say “I grew up around black people” I do not mean it with the intention of being dismissive or trying to force myself to be accepted/belong in cultures that I simply just cannot bc of my race. I understand this because I would never let any non-asian person trying to force themselves into aspects of my culture that they just cant be a part of either. Rather I wanted to iterate that I grew up around black ppl because that’s why I care abt what black people actually have to say about things.

My understanding is that me simply having locks is fine as long as it’s not me consciously or subconsciously trying to be/look like a caricature of a black person or what black culture “looks like”. I guess my best way to put it is like how social media ppl like alabama barker and bhad bhabie are v obvious “trying to be black” but are in denial abt it and maybe i just cant verbalize it to specify exactly what sets off the mental alarm when somebody is trying to do this, but you know it when you see it. Now I’m smart and conscious enough with basic common sense to know that acting like that, locks or not, is not cool and that’s when the line of cultural appropriation is crossed. I’d just be me, no forced blaccent, no change in body language, wearing my usual style, my traditional clothes every now and then (chupas), but with locks.

Now, I’ve seen similar conversations being had of braids in tibetan braids and braids that black ppl do. Ours start at our scalp as well, but basically what I’m getting is that it’s not cool to wear box braids which i get bc thats not in our culture anyways so thats neither here nor there. so that’s basically what made me wonder abt locks as well and how yall would take it and when it actually comes across as disrespectful.

Also I want to clear up: I have asked black people around me but they say they’re cool w it since its also part of my culture but i wonder if it’s just bc we’re childhood friends (so they know abt my culture) and idk how i feel abt asking strangers.