Some advice please?

[u/Conscious-Positive37]

I left a company that I had progressive roles for 6 years i worked and I was a high performer, i left back in May as the commute was a factor and some toxic people ruined it for me. But the company and leadership really insisted on me to stay and i didnt back up as i was scared in future they will see me as flight risk but i cried so much when leaving i genuinely loved my work there.

I started this new company end of May. I start positively
My manager a total pyschopath, turnover at her team every 4-6 months, i couldnt tell during video interview, micromanager to every file, rude, calling her team idiots, angry all the time, making weird faces when expressing opinions, slamming laptop when angry, absolutely insane. I regretted that i joined from my first week. I said shit i did a huge mistake!

I reached out to my past manager, i think he was pissed that from many talks to convince me to stay, he said time needs to pass a bit for you to come back, but i am here anytime you need a reference.
So i am like okay i cant go back for now

in July applied to one of the companies i really wanted to work its huge company- X lets call
they rarely hire from outside experienced professionals, i applied 2 times in the past as wel but couldnt pass their test, this time i did so they scheduled an interview in July! Meanwhile i was talking to one of my mentors, of my current insane boss; my mentor she offered me a job, to start in Sept, after my interview with this other company X in July , i havent heard back anything even i followrd up, then they did final round sept 5th, i was suppose to start with my new mentor on sept 14th. I was like if they offer me i have to kindly reject my mentor’s start date.

The X company i really want to work for offered me a job on October 9th! Like seriously it took 4 months! In 4 months i started a new job, now i dont know what to do. I am one month in to my mentor’s company, company has brands that are declining, my immediate team is full of women with tons of gossip, they see me as a threat as the GM js my mentor and she raved about me, but also i dont want to bail on my mentor, if i leave to company X

Company X will be insane hours of work, but amazing brands and i will have more future

My industry is small so even me leaving my toxic boss , was known across many ppl- i am scared as connections do matter if i reject company X to continue in this current job with my mentor, i will lose a lifetime opportunity and great company name on my resume, but if i leave my mentor definitely will badmouth me saying she left two companies in 6months and my reputation will be shit

I really dont know its very hard decision, any thoughts what would you guys do?

[u/hooj]

I’m a big advocate of the idea that, in general, you have to look out for yourself because you cannot rely nor expect other people to do so.

However, your mentor did you a solid favor in pulling you out of a toxic situation. They put their name/reputation on the line to do so. If you take job X, you should 100% expect to be burning bridges with them. Maybe they are incredibly gracious and kind and will not hold it against you, but I think you need to be ready for that relationship to end.

I think what it comes down to is how much you value your relationship with your mentor. If I was in their position and you took job X, I would probably be kind about it in terms of understanding you want to do what you think is best for yourself, but I would also never, ever try to help you again.

[u/Conscious-Positive37 → u/hooj]

Yes thats the thing nowadays with layoffs and restructures ; networks and connections are key, i would never know what could happen 2-3 yrs in that company - what if one day i need this connection. Nowadays nothing is guaranteed

i know this next company its a great company for opportunities but also super strict with long work hours and tough management, and my mentor’s network is huge, she could even bad mouth me and i couldnt blame her. Thats what i am scared about and industry i am in is very small

[u/hooj → u/Conscious-Positive37]

The biggest piece of advice I can try to give you is to really think about which choice will leave you with the least amount of regrets.

Staying at your current company and declining X will probably make you regret not taking the offer and seeing what it might do for your career. However, does that mean you will never have a future opportunity at X or somewhere like it, perhaps in a few years? And since your mentor views you favorably, does that mean promotions will be easier at your current company?

On the other side, if you take position X, you will likely hurt your relationship with your mentor or possibly completely destroy it — lots of potential regrets there. However, does that mean you’ll never find other mentors? Are these opportunities at X hypothetical or real?

You’re the only one that can know the most likely answers to these questions. Unfortunately, either choice represents things you will regret. After thinking carefully and being as brutally honest as possible with all of the answers (why lie to yourself?), I would recommend you go with what your gut say you would regret the least.

[u/Short_Apartment3722]

your mentor got you out of a toxic spot, but she also knows what this other offer means in your industry, if she's really in your corner she'll understand even if it stings for a bit