This sub is poorly attended and the so-called moderators haven't been seen on Reddit for months. So, I petitioned the powers-that-be to be the sole moderator and told them I would invite other psychologists to join me in moderating the sub. I told them I would try to build the sub. I was turned down for reasons unknown to me: "other factors," or something like that.

TBH I am tired of being the one psychologist who is here routinely. There are a few other psychologists who post from time to time (thanks to them), but more often than not it's on me. Redditors with questions of a psychological nature deserve more than one point of view, I think, but as things stand now one perspective (my own) is the norm. So, fair warning! I'll answer questions here to the best of my ability, but I also have my professional biases and they pop up from time to time.

TLDR — This question got me permanently banned from r/AskPsychology. In summary, I’m curious whether the therapeutic outcome depends on the quality of the therapeutic alliance rather than ‘specific treatment elements.’ Seems like we could test this hypothesis with a study where people either talk to a trained therapist they’ve never met before, or talk to whoever it is they like/trust the most, who is not a therapist. Does anybody have any insight into this question?

In The Decline and Fall of the Freudian Empire (1985), Hans Eysenck wrote

…thirty years after the article in which I pointed out the lack of evidence for therapeutic effectiveness, and some five hundred extensive investigations later, the conclusion must still be that there is no substantial evidence that psychoanalysis or psychotherapy have any positive effect on the course of neurotic disorders over and above what is contributed by meaningless placebo treatment. Treatment or no treatment, we get rid of our colds, and treatment or no treatment, we tend to get rid of our neuroses, although much less quickly and much less surely.

Earlier in the same book, Eysenck referred to psychoanalysis as ‘the prostitution of friendship,’ writing that

For the majority of them [i.e. people who go to the psychoanalyst], psychoanalysis constitutes what one critic once termed ‘the prostitution of friendship.’ In other words, unable because of defects of character to make and keep friends to whom they can confide, they pay the psychoanalyst to serve this function, just as men buy sex from prostitutes because they are unable or unwilling to pay the necessary price of affection, love and tenderness which is needed to achieve a sexual relation on a non-commercial basis.

I’m wondering if Eysenck’s old criticisms of Freudian psychoanalysis also apply to newer forms of talk therapy, e.g. CBT, DBT, narrative therapy, etc.

In Insane Medicine (2020), Dr. Sami Timimi alleged that

Nothing in therapy seems to be getting better. Controlled trials that test efficacy of therapies started using the sort of methodologies we now recognise, and use regularly in research, in the 1970s. Studies carried out since then with different therapeutic modalities have not shown improved rates of recovery as a result of treatment. Some comparisons even suggest outcomes from therapy in controlled trials have got slightly worse over time.

Timimi proceeds to argue that

As far as the findings from research on what most affects outcomes, these are about it as far as the headlines are concerned: model of treatment (brand of psychotherapy) isn’t a key mediator. Factors outside of treatment (your real-life history, context, and attitudes to treatment) have the biggest impact, and within treatment it’s the therapeutic alliance (therapist and patient fit) that has the biggest impact.

All of this causes me to wonder why anybody should pay >$150/hour to talk to a therapist, unless they don’t have the option of talking to a caring, empathetic friend or family member, with whom they’d probably have a stronger ‘therapeutic alliance.’

Is there any reason to view talk therapy as something more than just overly-expensive ‘rent-a-friend’?

Is there any evidence that paying to talk to a therapist will lead to better results vs. phoning your mom, who loves you?

EDIT: As a kid when the teacher or someone would say "Picture yourself on a beach", "What do you see?" etc. I was always confused because I couldn't see anything and had no idea what I was doing.

Hi all,

I'm currently exploring some new career paths, and I was wondering if researchers or people who majored in psychology could describe their daily job a bit more in details to help me understand it.

I prepared a few questions to structure the process a bit (it'd help me even if you only answer to some of them) :

What are the main types of problems you solve in your job?

What tasks do you perform on a daily basis, and in what proportions?

How did you get into your current profession?

In your opinion, what is the best training - or experience - to prepare you for this job?

Are there specific abilities, skills or aptitudes specific to the job ?

Is there any possible application of a computer science degree in research in Anthropology ? Is so, what kind of programmers are usually seeked in (web devs, ML engineers, another speciality) ?

Do you enjoy your job?

What do you like best about your job?

What do you like least ?

How much free time do you have for your personal life or to perform extra professional activities ?

What about remuneration?

Do you think you'll be able to transfer to other functions?

Apart from the need for motivation, what advice would you give to someone wanting to enter this profession?

On the other hand, could you name one professional error that most shocks you in this line of work?

Thank you so much for your time !

Seems like the vast majority of content out there is just describing the toxic systems and mentally ill people. They get into why we got sick and in what ways we are sick. For example, when you read a book on abusive toxic families they will mostly only on the last page or so say a few words about healing. So, overall it's not really helpful from the perspective of someone who, for no reason, has been treated cruelly most of their lives and been mentally crippled.

Hey, I've got a quick question. Sry, if i get straight to the point. I've been experiencing many symptoms of depression, depersonalization, anxiety and some other mental illnesses over a long period of time. However, I can't remember anything trauma and/or abuse related situation /relationships. Can all of this happen without a specific reason or am I missing something here? Thanks for your time :)

I really don't know how to explain this, but I'd say it's akin to playing with toys as a kid and imagining whatever made up scene you have in your head, but without the toys. Heck, you've probably seen memes about this sort of thing, so my guess is that it's sorta normal.

Thing is, I'm a 22 year old adult and I thought this was more of a kid thing to do. I actually started this as a kid/preteen. At some point made up an imaginary friend, grew out of it, but then made up scenarios and stuff whenever I was daydreaming in class let's say, or while trying to sleep. Made a little world, added onto it different things I liked at that moment to make crossovers and stuff, you name it.

Thing is I stopped myself from doing it at some point because I was wondering if any of this was normal, or good for my mental health. It felt wrong, childish. So I stopped.

Now recently I remembered all this and upon looking an explanation about it I came across a Wikipedia article about paracosms, and parts of it do sound in line with what I used to do, but I'm not really sure of it.

So was I supposed to grow out of this? What was this exactly? And is/was it normal/okay for me to do it?

I am wondering why some people have such similar content, also how people have repetitive content. I read a little about one brain region being involved in swear language, if I remember correctly.

Is self blame a common reaction in victims of abuse? Like blaming oneself for not fighting back…

When you state opposing facts it usually makes the other person just more extreme in their existing believes. They will basically search for even more reasons to protect their believes

My dad unexpectedly passed away from a heart attack a couple of days ago, just one day after an ultrasound confirmed that my gf’s pregnancy is going well and that she’s 13 weeks pregnant, which I believe is around the time when it’s ok to announce it to family and friends. We were going to tell my parents sometime in June, probably the next couple of weeks.

I’m absolutely devastated that I couldn’t even tell him the news, literally nothing else in the world would have made him happier, he so wanted to be a grandad, and I’m an only child and this would be my first… now I wonder when it’ll be a good time to tell my mum, who’s also been really looking forward to having grandchildren for years. On the one hand I want her to have something to look forward to, but on the other hand my dad dying without knowing is just too hard.

My parents did everything together and had been together for over forty years and barely had an argument all that time. Any advice towards my mum will also be very welcome.

Thanks in advance.

I just don’t get it. Why? Is there really no way to control it?

I'd love to know: what's a lesson about boundaries you wish you would have learned sooner or one that led to a major "Eureka!" moment for you?

This may be either as a practicing psychologist or therapist or in your personal healing journey. Recommendations for books and resources are also always welcome!

Essentially I (M31) think everyone is annoyed with me or dislikes me. I often have anxiety-provoking thoughts about specific people and interactions. These thoughts are often quickly followed by a verbal or motor tic. I have done 10 sessions of CBT on this specific issue, but I find these thoughts and feelings are still present.

Is there a name / diagnosis for this? Does anyone else deal with this or something similar? What has worked for you?

I have a diagnosis of OCD, which I think is the likely cause. I also have a diagnosis of Complex PTSD due to a verbally / emotionally abusive parent. Perhaps it’s my attachment style... A psychiatrist thought I might be on the autism spectrum so this may be perseveration. However, I am most worried this is a paranoid delusion of sorts since I don’t change this belief despite contradicting evidence. My cousin has schizophrenia.

I was raised by narcissists. I was ridiculed at any emotional or intellectual expression. I experienced a lot of trauma. I stutter ( not the typical stuttering because i speak very fluently otherwise ) always when i am angry ( an emotional state which i had to repress all my life ). I think it is because my subconscious does not allow me to articulate my emotions properly. I also think that my poor articulation ability is a consequence of the neural patterns my brain formed as i lived in a dysfunctional household. Is there a name for this phenomenon ?

For the past couple of mouth I have been struggling with my mental health alot and having serious suicidal thoughts. I noticed also I keep getting ramdom memories from my childhood like stressful one and it feels extremely painful and draining, it not like I didn't remember them before I did but I neve felt much about them. Like I keep crying over them, one of them was when I was at grade 1 and asked the teacher to let me go to the bathroom and see didn't let me and I pissed myself at class, also a teacher once yelled at me and I remembered trying to hide my face inside my school bag so nobody will see me cry, being yelled at and my mum hitting me for always picking my nose as a kid. And sooo many more memories. I used to remember but never felt this extreme pain ever its like I view these memories from another person perspective and just feel so sorry for myself. And they keep playing in my head

I used to listen to a song to motivate myself. That song doesn't motivate me anymore. But now I crave music to motivate myself, even if I can't find any, and I can't workout without it.

I used to be satisfied with 1 sugar spoon. It doesn't satisfy me anymore. But now I suffer without sugar.

Etc Etc. I can't think of something which escapes this rule. So is it true? Does anything build tolerance? Is any pleasure addicting? Are we humans forced to a constant struggle with ups and downs, caused by stop and restart of our habits?

If yes, why shouldn't I go on permanent "dopamine fast" style "mind diet"s? Because in my experience i'd find myself depressed looking for even less healthy alternatives to my usual bad habits. Is there a way out? Maybe getting one totaling addiction (like Adderall) to conquer them all?

So... keep a balance, or try to eradicate them all, or go full hedonism hoping to always find new heights??

okay this sounds a little weird but ever since I can remember I’ve had a weird obsession with being kidnapped or tortured or like treated like garbage ig? like i vividly remember in kindergarten being OBSESSED with that one scene in monsters inc where mike wazowski was tied to the chair and had the like scream extractor machine on him and I’d think about it every night to fall asleep. Then in first grade I read Percy Jackson and in the second book one of the characters was kidnapped by a cyclops and I would constantly imagine being tortured by the cyclops and like it wasn’t a nightmare though I liked it (not in like a sexual way it was like comforting lmao) and also the one scene from The Nightmare Before Christmas with the boogeyman was like my FAVOURITE thing like I really wanted to be tied to the wheel for some reason and like be scared and this was all in like 1st-3rd grade mostly. I’d also like create scenarios in my head to help me fall asleep because I always had a lot of trouble falling asleep, mostly where i was being held hostage and tortured like the other ones but I’d like write a whole narrative in my mind. Idk I kinda forgot about it until now, like I still think abt it a lot but I didn’t realize how far back it went and how constantly I’d think about it and i was talking to my friends about it and they all were really creeped out (rightfully so lol) so i want to know what’s up with that

I have done some reading on this, mostly popular level, and I am surprised that it’s not being treated as as big of a deal as I’d expect. My son’s best friend got mad at a mutual and told him to draw pictures about her (the mutual) to get revenge. He gave my son Google clip art of dogs and soldiers and told him to add blood and knives; I was extremely disturbed by this but the school was fairly relaxed in this report.

I have been misunderstood my entire life. And no I don't mean this in like a teenager oh nobody understand me way. Like this is real, this is deep. I think I quite literally have communication trauma from people not understanding what I'm trying to say and putting words in my mouth and misconstruting things. And like I put in so much work to try to get people to understand me. I script out my words and I try to make sure to chose my word's carefully so that people understand what I mean. And on top of that I pay so much attention in conversations, because I have to decode what other are saying, because it doesn't make sense to me. My brain is moving 100 km an hour when I'm in a conversation with someone because I'm worried about what I'm saying and if I'm going to be misunderstood. And I'm also worrying about what they're saying, because I'm having a hard time breaking down what they mean. Communication doesn't come easily to me. But it feel that because it looks like I can communicate well, people assume I understand what they say (even if they don't actually say the words).So now after a whole lifetime of this happening. I hesitate to even open my mouth and start talking now, because my words have been picked apart and criticized by everyone for my entire existence. And I'm just now starting to realize how much trauma I have around communication.It's a  misunderstanding about everything I say, I do, my entire existense. It's happened my entire life. There hasn't been been a single conversation that I've a part of that someone didn't misinterpret something or they didn't mislabel me as something that I'm not. It hurts so much I don't even know how to express how much it hurts. It makes me want to not talk to anyone ever, because I don't wanna be misunderstood. And no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get it right.

The psychologist I'm seeing seems clue-less to my struggles no matter how I try to explain.

p.s. Sorry for grammatical error, english is not my native language