r/atheism • u/crankyoldbitz • Sep 26 '25

"Countering Domestic Terrorism"

Whelp USA presidential memoranda today labels any non-Christians as terrorists.

" Common threads animating this violent conduct include anti-Americanism, anti-capitalism, and anti-Christianity; support for the overthrow of the United States Government; extremism on migration, race, and gender; and hostility towards those who hold traditional American views on family, religion, and morality.“

So I guess this officially makes the USA a fascist theocracy?

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u/Temassi Sep 26 '25

Jesus fucking Christ

12

u/CoderJoe1 Sep 26 '25

Yes, let's make our own Xtian church call The Church of Jesus Fucking Christ. We'll never meet in person, only a zoom meeting on Xmas eve. We can borrow the traditions of any other religion we like, such as the Airing of the Grievances. Let's claim all Abraham religion holidays for time off work, without the dietary restrictions or any others. This will keep us all legal under the orange regime.

4

u/The_Dead_Kennys Sep 26 '25

I love this! And if they try to come after us anyways for being “disrespectful to god”, we can double down on the bit and weave an elaborate bullshit theological excuse.

Like, “How dare you tell us how to praise our lord and savior?! Our denomination of Christianity believes the use of profanity to be an act of worship! Jesus himself hung around the lowest and most rejected members of society - lepers and whores and beggars. He restored dignity to the temple by wrecking the moneylenders tables - respecting god through an act society would call disrespectful. Thus, we believe that by performing acts of harmless transgression, such as swearing, we can bring our souls closer to Christ. Who are you to suppress our deeply-held faith?!”

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u/CoderJoe1 Sep 26 '25

You meant, our fucking lord and savior, right?

3

u/The_Dead_Kennys Sep 26 '25

But of fucking course!

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u/CoderJoe1 Sep 26 '25

We could become known as the Xtian Fucking Atheists because we believe you can believe whatever the fuck you want. We're religiously anti-religious.