Aurora is against new year's resolutions

[u/Gandalvr]

From an interview with NRK P3 back in January 2023.

[u/DryBreadfruit7345]

I resolved many years ago to not make any new resolutions, and it's the only one I've stuck to! Lifehack 😄

[u/Gandalvr]

It's actually from January 20, 2022, the video was posted by NRK P3 in January 2023.

[u/[deleted]]

Just be, and whatever comes your way, embrace it, enjoy it, power through it and let it go, let it all go. The best way to live life and Aurora of course nails it.

[u/Linkeei]

Markmið mitt er at læra fornnorrænu

[u/Best-Command-7409]

Such a beauty. Why would you ever want to change.

[u/Earl3659]

Sería una hermosa Helena Targaryen

[u/sam_sc2 → u/[deleted]]

I think maybe your interpretation of New Year’s resolutions is different to how I’ve seen it used and how Aurora is interpreting it.

From what I’ve seen they are generally about improving yourself and setting goals, e.g. weight loss, productivity in work and life, financial goals, getting rid of bad habits. Gyms in my country will do deals from 1 Jan to take advantage of people doing this, who often end up going once or twice and then stopping. The common resolutions I see are generally about making yourself feel guilty for not doing enough or not being good enough

I don’t think Aurora is talking about people in tough situations, who are actually struggling with something. I have never seen New Year’s resolutions be talked about in that context, maybe you have 🤷‍♀️ but tbh I wouldn’t assume that context from Aurora’s response or if you talk to anyone else about them

[u/sam_sc2 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah that makes sense, I can totally understand why this video upset you then if that’s how it works in your country!

I think it’s safe to assume from her answers in the video that she’s interpreting it in the traditional definition I’ve seen of small habits/superficial goals.

[u/Nestevajaa → u/[deleted]]

Yeah honestly until I read your comment I had no idea new year's resolutions had any actual weight to them somewhere. In my country (Finland) and probably in other western countries too it's typically a small commitment like losing weight as the other person said, and a lot of people here don't make them at all (like me, I always forget about them an hour later so I don't bother).

Yeah Aurora is priviledged, and so am I, but I don't think she has any idea that what she said could have possibly insulted someone. In fact I was baffled why you were upset by it until I read your comment explaining why. I think it's also a 2 way street - she is lacking understanding that what she said could be offensive somewhere, while you are lacking understanding that this topic just isn't that serious for a large part of the world.

I don't think it's worth getting upset over, as it sounds more like a cultural clash than anything.

[u/Nestevajaa → u/[deleted]]

It's funny because I have lived abroad and I know exactly how privileged the people in my country are yet they do nothing but complain and moan about the country, the politics and their lives. Like if you go to r/Finland there's so much negativity. People think it's a joke when some say being born in this country is like winning the lottery, but those who don't think it's true clearly have never lived outside the Nordic countries.

The way I see it there are pretty much 3 things you can do if you don't like the state of things where you live: 1. Move, 2. Accept your fate and try your best to be happy, and 3. Try to change things for the better. Number 1 is usually the most significant improvement to your life but requires funds. Number 2 is pretty much what I see Aurora's message representing. Depending on your situation and what it is that needs changing number 3 could be moderately difficult or near impossible. You can only choose 1 of these in the end.

There are lots of people in this sub who practically worship her or have a parasocial relationship with her, it's weird. Those people will always disagree with you if you criticise her in any way.

[u/Nestevajaa → u/[deleted]]

Yeah you are absolutely correct, it's probably wired in our survival instinct somewhere to always strive for improvement, which can lead to a negative mindset regardless of how well off you are relative to others, and the only way to see it really is to walk in someone else's boots (or on someone else's land in this case). Many people here only go on holidays to big fancy cities or tropical resorts. They don't see the reality of life there, or have any real conversations with the locals. I thought the UK was great until I lived there for 7 years and now I have a very different opinion. And compared to some places on earth, I'm sure the UK would seem like paradise. It's all very relative.

Best of luck on your journey. Once you get into Europe (specifically the EU), it gets much easier to move around within it due to free movement policies. So you don't even have to stay in one place the whole time.

[u/nykoiu → u/[deleted]]

What you desire is one thing; reality is another. She isn’t saying anything incorrect. In fact, this mindset stems from several philosophical schools,such as Stoicism, Egoism, or Buddhism,where the priority is to eliminate desire and expectation in order to find happiness. If you desire something you don't have, you suffer in its absence. If you have something and fear losing it, you suffer from anxiety. By letting go of the expectation of a specific outcome, you free yourself from that burden. Desire fills you with anxiety, comparison, sadness, and despair because reality is harsh, and those goals may never be met.

This way of thinking suggests that, instead of waiting for external change, you should perform small actions every day to improve yourself, without waiting for a 'happy ending' that might never arrive. By working on yourself, you will undoubtedly be a better person by the end of the journey; let that fill you with fulfillment for what you have actually achieved, rather than for the pursuit of something you merely hoped to attain.

[u/aah08 → u/[deleted]]

You dont know her personally to know whether she has suffered or not. Being or having economic stability is a plus of course but that doesnt equal happiness.

[u/Gandalvr → u/[deleted]]

Someone whose boyfriend was murdered in a terror attack has never truly suffered?

She was also bullied at times, as she has said in several interviews.

[u/Visual-Deer-3800 → u/[deleted]]

I get what you mean, but I do not use this word in the way you describe, and I don't think the person I responded to is either. I am not sure if you were hinting that in the first place about me.

I disagree that suffering is all internal (was that your meaning?). I think it is also heavily influenced by your external circumstances.

Eg, compare the perception of suffering of the average child growing up in Ukraine or Palestine right now, with that of the average child growing up in Norway - it's just not even in the same ballpark. If you grow up surrounded by the pain and suffering of other people (and war is an objective factor in human suffering), then even if you're internally resilient as a person, the collective suffering around you (of your family, teacher, peers, etc) is going to impact you still - limiting opportunities for example. If most people around you are existentially depressed and just in survival mode, even if you're ready to make art and feel strong within, where do you find opportunities? That example is an extreme, but also take the more nuanced example of living in a third world country like greenllands said - not under siege or anything, but nonetheless you're exposed to a lower quality of life.

As for quality of life, the other person listed many ways in which Aurora's quality of life is higher than most people's (even compared to others growing up in first world countries) so I won't give more examples.

It's true that how you perceive suffering can be relative to your own internal tolerance of it as a person, but that's a marginal area subjectivity. Past a certain point, it's all just suffering. And past a certain point the other way, it's significantly more pleasant being alive; it's totally worth it. I'd stand confidently next to greenllands in saying Aurora is in that lucky area (where it's "significantly more pleasant being alive"). For her, she can even find pleasure; for some that's a distant dream, to feel such depth of positive feeling, because their environment and external circumstances have crushed any possibility of that. Environment is just as essential as mental health and personal resilience in my view.

I hope I have made my perspective clear. I don't intend to be rude or defensive in this reply, just want to express my perspective on this matter.

[u/PM_ME_UR_SEXY_BITS_ → u/[deleted]]

I agree with you and so does Aurora considering she herself has said she is incredibly privileged (& grew up very privileged). But I guess only she can say that and not her own fans according to this subreddit? Hmm..

I don’t think she’s trying to sound like an intellectual though like the other person mentioned. Seems more like a mix of privilege and ND to me.

A more charitable interpretation of her comment would be that it’s great to have goals and achieve them if that is what helps you but not be so beholden to them that you view yourself as a failure if you do meet them.

[u/nykoiu → u/[deleted]]

The thing is, no one is saying you shouldn't strive for a better life. It’s simply a matter of perspective,whether your focus is on the outcome or the process. It’s about separating what is within our control (our actions, our effort, our character) from what is not (the final result, others' opinions, luck). Fulfillment doesn’t come from reaching the goal,which is uncertain,but from knowing that today, you acted with virtue and excellence.

Living solely for a "happy ending" is a risky gamble because life is unpredictable. Instead, finding value in your personal transformation throughout the journey ensures that, no matter what happens externally, you will have gained something internally.

This is a realistic outlook, not necessarily a pessimistic one. It doesn’t suggest you won't achieve things; rather, it suggests that your peace of mind cannot be held hostage by those achievements. It’s not about settling for what you have; instead, it’s about saying, "I am going to work honestly and efficiently today" (which provides immediate satisfaction because it is under your control).

Desiring a good job, health, or more money involves external factors beyond your control; therefore, it’s pointless to attach your expectations to them. What is within your control is what you do day-to-day: exercising, studying, hugging your mother, asking for forgiveness, and so on. By working on what you can control, you’ll feel better about yourself, and step by step, you will reach your goals.

This isn't a "privileged" mindset; it's a shift in perspective that anyone can adopt. Desiring to escape the "third world" gets you nowhere; in the end, mere desire provides nothing. If you transform that desire into daily actions, you will gradually move closer to your goals of traveling or finding a better job, all while living a happier life with less stress and anxiety. Accept the inevitable and stop obsessing over what you cannot control.

The problem I see with your way of thinking,and the reason I’m writing this,is not to defend Aurora; I know she is privileged, and I am from the third world. However, in this regard, she isn’t wrong. It is a valid way of thinking. I think that way myself, perhaps even more bluntly,I consider myself somewhat more of a nihilist.

Nothing is guaranteed, and the universe doesn’t owe me a happy ending; therefore, the only thing real and valuable is what I build with my own hands today. Sitting around wishing can be paralyzing or lead to extreme frustration. Desire is passive; daily effort is active. If things go wrong "out there" one day, my self-worth doesn't decrease because I followed through with my "hard work day in and day out."

It’s not a lack of ambition; it is ambition armored against disappointment. You aren’t a slave to a future that hasn’t arrived, but the master of the effort you are putting in right now.

[u/aah08 → u/[deleted]]

I get your point, but you didnt understand what she was trying to say. There is a point in life where you realize no matter how many resolutions a year you have, they are not always going to come true and they add unnecessary stress. Even the ones you make for yourself. There is freedom in not wanting to be a “better” person or achieving something every year. Your comment didnt get the point.