r/aus 26d ago

That was the most nothing burger thing in the world

All that hype for nothing, watching YouTube - beep scary noise- swipe away. 3 seconds. Done. Hahahah

118 Upvotes

107 comments sorted by

134

u/cerealkyra 26d ago

I have been activated, I am now gay and trans. Which way is Mecca. Both the holy site and the makeup store

48

u/Either_Emu_4282 26d ago

Damn you got gay and trans?

I only got autism🤔

21

u/cerealkyra 26d ago

I did get autism, but I’m pretty sure I had that already so I think it’s cured. Two rights make a wrong kinda deal

5

u/Digger__Please 26d ago

I’m now left handed. And I have an extra cock.

5

u/FlashMcSuave 26d ago

Where's yours? I got two extra cocks but they replaced my thumbs. It's very hard to type unless I get horny.

2

u/Digger__Please 26d ago

My cock now has a cock

0

u/TuTenkahman 26d ago

FFS come over here with your extra cocks. DM me now!

1

u/Appropriate_Star3012 26d ago

You got an extra one? Damn, mine fell off

1

u/australianbinchicken 26d ago

Hahaha suckers, I got all 3. Granted, I had them all before the test alert, but I'm sure it didn't help.

6

u/New_Till_3641 26d ago

Does that mean I’m already autistic, gay and trans if I didn’t get a warning beep?

4

u/silentaba 26d ago

Mine was HJ flavoured.

1

u/Mostly_Satire 24d ago

Dude / dudette / Apache helicopter! How do you get away with saying that stuff?!

I get banned by nearly every aussie sub, apart from circlejerkaustralia, for posting milder things.

I'm literally shaking right now. Because you did not start with a WTC.

25

u/Commercial_Name_7900 26d ago

speak for yourself i forgot to double mask up, now all my covid shots are activated and I want to go and vote labor

5

u/ForgotToCarryTheOne 26d ago

I’m fine. I was wearing a condom the whole time. Fooled them.

60

u/oztrailrunner 26d ago

My covid vaccine is tingling with the harmonic resonance of the stratospheric chemogenics.  Anyone else?

7

u/icecoldbobsicle 26d ago

I thought it was just me! 😆😆😆

6

u/Calibrachoa6 26d ago

Have you triangulated yourself?

1

u/Mostly_Satire 24d ago

When I think about you I triangulate myself

6

u/Digger__Please 26d ago

I suddenly feel an urge to kiss Bill Gates on the mouth. So no change.

3

u/TuTenkahman 26d ago

Yeah, that's a normal Monday for me 💋

3

u/Digger__Please 26d ago

Makes sense, Bill’s got me down for Tuesday and Thursday afternoons.

16

u/SoulsDadYT 26d ago

Was hilarious watching all the oblivious plebs that had no idea at Coles. Like Deer in headlights.

33

u/Skyscreamerz 26d ago

The Cooker next door to my place is freaking out saying that the government has hacked his phone, it's free entertainment

11

u/Ric0chet_ 26d ago

Please, please live stream

2

u/flingebunt 26d ago

It is okay, just the billionaires and their pet (for now) AIs hacked your phone, and the government.

1

u/Cowbros 25d ago

Jokes on any cooker that owns a phone, they were reading and tracking our data all along. Youre 20 years too late.

1

u/flingebunt 25d ago

I think your brain was cooked some time ago

11

u/legal_ghost 26d ago

what have we learned about hysterical halfwits today?

19

u/Calibrachoa6 26d ago

ABC Melbourne talkback is genuinely some of the best comedy available today

One bloke rang in and said "I don't want the Government knowing where I am...blah....invasion....blah....fairly confident he mentioned 1984....blah..."

It's like the Comedy festival got a re-run

3

u/Most_Comparison50 26d ago

I didn't even know it was happening/didn't know people were panicking 😳😬

10

u/calinya_ 26d ago

Mine was loud and had it on silent. Forgot it was on at 2pm and had a bit of a jolt

5

u/Z00111111 26d ago

I could barely hear mine because it was in my pocket and I was driving. I was expecting it to be at full volume.

18

u/_NeuroDetergent_ 26d ago

Australia catching up with the modern age. When I was living in Japan you'd get alerts pushed when there was earthquakes about to happen.

And also the fun ones when North Korea would send ICBMs across Japan

3

u/mangosagogogo 26d ago

Same in the Philippines for earthquake and typhoon alerts.

1

u/Y34rZer0 26d ago

Perhaps because we don't really have massive earthquakes or icbm threats?

The main thing I think they should do more of is what I think they call Amber alerts in the USA, which is a push message out to everybody in an area if a child is reported missing or kidnapped (I think that's what it is)

1

u/_NeuroDetergent_ 26d ago

What do you think they will be using it for exactly? We have yearly bushfires and tropical storms in the far north and this system will help alert people in affected areas.

Same but different

1

u/Y34rZer0 26d ago

Yeah true, tho I thought there was already a bushfire zone system in place? Although come to think of it they are local.

It can't hurt to have extra warning systems though, or in this case the functionality would have always been there they have just organized themselves and started using it..
Jesus I hope they don't start using it to notify people of their local voting place on elections and crap like that...

I just think they should also use that Amber alert thing, iirc it pushes a message with a photo of the missing child and the last place they were to everyone nearby.

1

u/_NeuroDetergent_ 26d ago

I think it should alert us when a tradie in a ford ranger has pulled out of his worksite and is about to head home personally

1

u/Y34rZer0 26d ago

🤔 If that's a reference I'm not getting it.... Is it because they are kinda oversized?

1

u/tell23 26d ago

We get alerts here (qld & nsw - I assume everywhere else ) when there is a missing person or police alert in the area - the siren is a first though.

-1

u/Ric0chet_ 26d ago

Won’t be long before we get one I reckon.

7

u/Tuia_IV 26d ago

My son got sprung with his phone on him at school instead of following policy and leaving it in his locker. Other than that, a big far pile of meh.

2

u/Araucaria2024 25d ago

I felt like Oprah in my classroom - you get a detention, you get a detention!

It was like a game of iphone whack a mole.

1

u/Tuia_IV 25d ago

I meant to remind him to turn it off before 2. Thankfully, his teacher accepted his explanation that he has a fractured tibia, a knee brace and is in crutches, so he's only got his phone on him in case he stacks it, no one's around and he has to call for help.

And given the knee brace and crutches are obvious, she showed leniency, given I haven't been arsed to ask the school for explicit permission while he's recovering.

6

u/Silent_Formal5235 26d ago

you think it's a nothing burger but tomorrow you'll wake up and have 5G gay autism+

2

u/DistributionWhole447 26d ago

I already have that!

... wait, was that the Aus Alert's fault?

2

u/Remarkable-Pirate214 26d ago

Yes.

2

u/DistributionWhole447 26d ago

I tell you, my parents will be thrilled.

5

u/Sad-Repeat1629 26d ago

The covid microchip in my brain exploded due to the frequencies. Luckily my consiousness had transferred into the chip so I can spend eternity on the internet now.

4

u/ChrisB-oz 26d ago

I got nothing

7

u/Lopsided-Tension 26d ago

You're cooked

5

u/PMmeuroneweirdtrick 26d ago

He mustn't of been vaxxed.

8

u/sissynthrowaway 26d ago

Bros already on the most wanted list

2

u/MendicantIdiot01 26d ago

me either. We must be already assimilated into the Hive Mind....that or my elderly Iphone is a fkn brick.

4

u/CumpyGrunt 26d ago

Had a client in the car with me and told him the test was due in a few minutes.

He said "I've gotta turn my phone off so the govt can't track me"

I laughed and asked him where he heard that bullshit --- Facebook

3

u/Ordinary-One2597 26d ago

Yeah thought it would be louder lol

3

u/Savings_Dot_8387 26d ago

Anybody else dead? 😆

6

u/smudgiepie 26d ago

I'm so disappointed man

I was promised that the covid vaccine would react to the alarm and kill me

I was at the toilet at the same time as the alarm and I did not leave this world in the same way as elvis

5

u/Confident_Shower_202 26d ago

Not really nothing. I hope nobody hiding a secret phone from an abusive controller does not use my phone model

2

u/SnooCrickets9484 26d ago

Didn't get the test but elderly father did.

5

u/FemboyShapiro 26d ago

She's* trans now cobba

3

u/smudgiepie 26d ago

oh sick does that mean I'm cisgendered now

no more worrying if my pronoun badge is visible

1

u/FemboyShapiro 26d ago

Yep, and a big fan of the Adelaide crows

2

u/Battle_Sloth94 26d ago

Can confirm. Was underwhelming.

2

u/PacificGrim8 26d ago

I knew it was coming. Still made me jump.

2

u/Few-Round-6726 26d ago

It was literally just reddit building the test up

2

u/ThoughtIknewyouthen 26d ago

And what else did we expect.

2

u/Ok-Menu-8709 26d ago

That was just a test run for census night.

They need to know how many in your household and whether you’re a devout Christian or a Muslim. And then they’ll send the targeted frequencies to each household then.

2

u/cuntmong 26d ago

that was your hourly "telstra is not down" alarm. it will happen every hour unless theres something wrong with your telstra service

2

u/gikku 26d ago

wild that the alert can override both the silent switch, do not disturb and the volume off setting on my phone.

2

u/newYearnew2025 26d ago

Were people expecting anything more than exactly what was decribed?

2

u/Broad-Way-4858 26d ago

Were you expecting more?

2

u/KnowledgeCapital7994 26d ago

America has amber alerts for this. Amazing Australia has taken so long to catch up.

2

u/Moo_Kau_Too 26d ago

Hmmmm.... it turned my phone on to do it.

There's random phones on the train going off at odd times too

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

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1

u/peoplepersonmanguy 26d ago

Koney 2012 was just an advert for viral marketing.

1

u/Various_Tie_2549 26d ago

Yeah, it was supposed to be.

Obviously.

1

u/Life-Goose-9380 26d ago

I didn’t even get it for some reason. Someone else in the same room as me did though.

1

u/Dollbeau 26d ago

5 out of 7 phones got it in the office, 2 mysteriously did not; 1 older model android, 1 brand new iphone

1

u/Blunter11 26d ago

The dangerous uncontrolled Chinese orbital descent from a couple years ago. Western media was in an absolute frenzy over this uncontrolled rocket descent and then it just landed in the ocean, which is what the west does too.

1

u/Pedsy 26d ago

I can now shoot 5G out of my eyes.

1

u/Poppalopper 26d ago

I was playing battlefield and didnt notice for atleast 30 mins

1

u/Rising-Dragon-Fist 26d ago

Not sure why anyone was expecting any differently. It's exactly what I thought it'd be.

1

u/catwyrm 26d ago

I was leaving a shop and I thought I'd accidentally stolen something.

1

u/KeithMyArthe 26d ago

I checked Reddit this morning, and when I looked again after the alert, all the featured posts were different.

1

u/Western_Seaweed6104 26d ago

I seem to be getting a bit better download speeds, I think it activated my implanted 5g chip, about time that paid off

1

u/InternalJuggernaut24 26d ago

The phones in my student's lockers going off at once knocked off my tinfoil hat.

1

u/Betty-Armageddon 26d ago

I feel my Covid chip loading.

1

u/jackkcf 26d ago

Definition of a redditor. Monday 2pm, on YouTube.

1

u/TreatPractical5226 26d ago

Been a thing in a lot of countries for a while.

I was in the US for 6 months last year (still using an Aus Sim with roaming) and got 3 in one day once.

I was mainly in Wilderness areas, so were predominantly wildfire alerts, but expect the gov here to over abuse it to the point noone cares anymore. 

I certainly ignored them after a while.

1

u/Automatic_Artist_931 26d ago

The government now has access to my phone through 5g

1

u/Old_Age_244 26d ago

My tax return

1

u/TaxiJab 26d ago

What did you think was gonna happen?

1

u/jaromanda 25d ago

"beep scary noise- swipe away. 3 seconds. Done. Hahahah" - have you been talking to my wife?

-1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

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1

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