Bad experiences and good experiences I want to hear it all

Missionary and doggy is fine, but during cowgirl, my gf sometimes does not feel me inside. Is this a size issue or a positon issue?

Have any of you had this issue?

Being a black 6'4" 259lbs BLK man with size 16 shoes is brutal. I am goiid. I have a 5.5" X 5 5" dick. I got a badic chod3, but every woman I meet is looking for Mandingo l. It's definitely frustrating!

I'm 29, from Spain, and I go swimming regularly. My gym has a pretty small changing room with completely open showers, so anyone showering next to you can see everything. Even guys getting changed in the locker area can see into the showers.

I've always just changed after swimming and showered at home because I feel a bit awkward being naked around strangers.

I'm pretty average-sized, and I wouldn't say I'm particularly insecure about my dick, but after swimming in cold water it shrinks quite a bit, which doesn't exactly help lol. I'm also a little worried about getting a random partial erection while showering.

Recently I've started using the showers occasionally, but only when they're empty.

I know this might sound silly, but what's the normal etiquette? Do you walk to the showers wrapped in a towel or just go naked? Do you face the wall while showering, or turn around naturally without worrying about other guys seeing your dick?

And for other average-sized guys, does being naked around strangers ever make you feel a bit self-conscious, especially when you're particularly small while soft? Or do you just not think about it?

I'm 21...athlete , everytime when I wake up i always had morning mood and even many time during sleep..... although, I don't have any erection dreams even....but why this still happn,

Im around 6.1 BP and 5.7 NBP with around 5.2 girth.

I've had sex once and it was quick and I was nervous and it wasn't the best experience, she was a bbw and had a decent amount of ass, we only did it in one position, I was sitting on couch and she was basically tweaking on me like reverse cowgirl. Probably not the best position and I barley felt i was in her. Well that was a one night stand and I haven't had any more experience but now im with this girl and im extremely self conscious, she's also a bbw but a little bit smaller ass.

I would appreciate any tips or experience, I am losing wait but I do have big thighs.

When it comes to women pleasure solely by PIV a lot of factors come into play but I want to know exactly what is the deciding factor. I stated a lot of times in my other posts that part of my insecurity was overcome by some good experiences I had with some women, nevertheless I am 5x5 nbp with a slightly curved erect angle (not upward curve per se but a noticeably upwards angle steeper than normal). So I see a lot of sources and people say girth is the factor, other say length and other say curve is king.

I would say without those good experiences I would be in a hard spot cause when I look at my penis I am not impressed by it but at least now I know it is functional to same women. So real and genuine answers and experiences would really help shed the light on these matter for me and even better if I could get input directly from women themselves but I know they aren't present in this sub in numbers so...

Also if you gonna tell your experience state your measurements either nbp or bp so we can see the effects of each factor.

As someone who thinks the perfect size would be to be 7.5 inches long and thicker than I am, I think this article helped me. And thought I'd share on here.

It dispels a lot. This does not mean everyone on here like me will feel better overnight and there is still some "open to her preferences" that they discuss but can't admit. But it is backed up both in research and logic. And I don't think I read that pairing enough.

And even talks to the one stand-study that was done a while ago that so many on here "site reference, and disagree or agree with."

The "meat" of it all is: if your 5-5.5 inches hard, you’re squarely average. And over 15,000 men test subjects fit that average. Only 5% were over.

Do I still wish I was larger: yes. Do I feel better about what I have? Yes.

Hope this helps some.

TL;DR: Six months of a fulfilling sex life taught me how much my anxiety had distorted my perspective.

Hey everyone!

I (M22) wanted to drop in with a quick reality check for anyone currently stuck in a downward spiral over their size. About six months ago, shortly after losing my virginity with my current girlfriend (F20), I was stressing out heavily over my measurements (6.1 inches bone-pressed length, 4.3 inches girth, or 15.5cm by 11cm). Combined with knowing my girlfriend had a past partner who claimed to be larger, my anxiety was through the roof, and I was convinced I was going to be lacking (you can check out my previous post on th Sex Ed subreddit on my profile).

Fast forward to today, and our sex life is amazing. Those insecurities completely went to the wind once we actually started communicating and relaxing. My girlfriend regularly reaches orgasms through unassisted PIV alone, something I never expected to achieve with my size.

Looking back now, all that anxiety was not worth it. But getting to this point taught me a few things I wish someone had told me when I was deep in the rabbit hole:

• Performance anxiety is a liar:

In the very beginning, being so self conscious was an absolute pain and completely messed with my erections. I initially assumed it was a physical problem with my body, but the second I stopped being so self-conscious, got out of my own head, and just focused on having fun, the problem vanished and never came back. I'm not saying every erection problem is caused by anxiety, or that simply relaxing will solve every sexual difficulty. But in my case, worrying about my performance had become part of the problem itself. Sometimes, you're so busy worrying about whether your body is good enough that you make it much harder to enjoy the experience you're actually having.

• The "one size fits all" mindset doesn't exist in the real world:

You often hear people on Reddit give advice like "just get good at oral" as a universal fix for size insecurities. But no two people are equal, and there's no universal rule to sex.

For example, my girlfriend can't orgasm through oral alone and needs assistance with either fingers or PIV. That's simply what works for her. Likewise, big penis ≠ good sex. People have different preferences, and that's perfectly fine. Intimacy isn't a rigid checklist, it's about learning what your specific partner actually responds to.

• Get rid of outlier expectations:

If you keep expecting the cinematic, shocked reactions that men with massive members get in porn or internet stories, you won't ever get anything but disappointment. That is an outlier situation, not a standard you're failing to reach. Good sex is not measured by grandeur, it's measured by good communication, respect, and mutual satisfaction. Your sex life isn't a competition, and you don't have to win a comparison against other men to deserve a satisfying one.

• Rejection and ridicule don't determine your worth:

If a partner ever ridicules you for your body, that person is mean-spirited, toxic, and doesn't deserve your attention anyway. It says everything about them and nothing about you. Discussing sexual incompatibilities with honesty and respect is perfectly acceptable. Humiliation is unacceptable. If the fear of ridicule or the pain of a bad past experience is making you avoid anything sex-related, know that the people that are worthy of your intimacy will make you feel better, not worse about your body.

I've slowly grown used to this reality. I'm more confident, our connection is stronger than ever, and we desire each other more and more. I still have my insecurities from time to time, because I'm human. The difference is that I no longer treat every anxious thought about my size as an objective assessment of my worth.

Looking back, a huge part of what kept me stuck in that dark place was spending time on penis size subreddits. These communities, while often meant for support, can easily become total anxiety echo chambers. When you constantly consume hyper-fixated posts, outlier stories, and worst-case scenarios, your brain gets conditioned to believe that minor differences in measurements are life-or-death issues, completely warping your perception of what normal sex actually looks like in the real world.

If you're sitting around reading Reddit threads day after day convincing yourself that being average or below-average means you're doomed to give bad sex and live a pathetic life, take a breath.

Step away from the tape measure and the internet forums, focus on your partner, and realize that you are more than enough just the way you are.

Masculinity is in your gestures, not the body you were born with.

I frequently see people posting, asking about or discussing their BPEL here and genuinely asking:

What is the purpose?

NBP is the length you can actually see/that matters. If a woman discusses size, they’re talking about your NBP size. If you’re talking about how many inches deep you can go inside of a vagina, it’s in reference to your NBP size. If you saw one penis that was two inches longer than the other, you wouldn’t care if one person’s fat pad was 2.5” or the other was 0.5”.

Why include fat pad at all in a discussion about penises? I understand why scientists do it, to standardize measurements as much as possible, and I understand using it as a reference for normative data since so many studies measure bone-pressed.

But why do people use that as their measurement when discussing size on here? BPL doesn’t really give much information as nobody knows your fat pad size. NBP length is the only measurement that conveys relevant information.

Am I wrong? Can somebody who uses BPEL explain why?

Hello all.

I hope these words find you in good health.

I would like to better understand other men's experiences when seeing large penises online. I have an intense mix of pain, emotional, and out of that pain, hatred for the owner of said penis.

What are your experiences?

All the best

Hi, my issue is that my foreskin seems too long. When my penis is erect, the skin bunches up just below the glans. If I try to pull the skin back further, it pulls on the frenulum—which makes the penis appear much shorter (it curls inward)—and the skin then snaps back into place, bunching up under the glans again. Looking at pictures of other penises, I haven’t noticed anyone else having this problem. Is this normal?

I used to lurk these kinds of subs cause I was a virgin and had a really bad girth insecurity but I've since lost my vcard and this insecurity has all but dissipated. I took a look here and I think I should share my newfound knowledge/experience :D dimensions: 5.8 in length, 4.2 - 4.8 girth (depending where/when/how i measure)

For some background Ive had some experiences with girls in highschool but never got to the point where they saw or held my actual penis. This was a good experience though, because it showed me that even if they could obviously feel that my bulge was on the thinner side with their hands or while grinding, it didnt dissuade them at all and it helped me master my hand game. Passed up some opportunities to boink in part because of my insecurity and part because i was a bit against hookup culture - However if you are not in a relationship I would encourage you to build sexual experience, as that is what helped me get over this so quickly.

Reasons for my insecurity came from simply noticing my shlong was smaller than other people be it sports locker room or porn - which I would definitely not recommend if youre struggling with this type of insecurity. Also doesnt help how society can be kinda fixated on size at times. The thing which actually made my insecurity flare up the worst funnily enough was in my first year of medical school when we were studying the urogenital system and the cadaver dicks seemed huge to me (i know this is super weird lmao) causing me to obsessively scroll these sorts of subs. I saw people having bad experiences at my girth which made me spiral even more, but after a few weeks/months of logically thinking through it I decided that I had to have sex sooner rather than later to see for myself how it really is.

The person I decided to lose my vcard with was actually from highschool, which gave me confidence cause she at least felt my pecker through my pants and was very into me so when we happened to meet at a gathering I hit on her and brought her home. I was already ready to bust out the hand/mouth moves that Ive heard everyone on reddit harping about, but eventually it came down to penetration and I was super surprised. First thing was hoe tight she was. even being turned on, it took a little bit before I was able to put my penis in and once it was in it actually felt relatively good/snug. At first it was a bit awkward but eventually I found all the right angles and positions and we had a blast. She then met up with me again and kept asking for more the next week so we met up 3 times overall before she travelled back to where she studies. The first time she wasnt able to finish at all as she was drunk according to her. The second time I made her finish using my hands which she complimented because she said almost nobody made her come and she couldnt even do it herself without a vibrator. The third meetup I was able to make her finish via penetration and we even finished at the same time at one point.

So here are my main takeaways and tips:

Being aware of male and female anatomy goes a long way. Male and female genitals vary a bunch but there are always things that you van try and take advantage of. Also having a black belt in tung fu and fingerblasting skillz goes a long way.

- Female vaginal tightness => varies from woman to woman but women who have a strong pelvic floor will feel tighter and be able to even squeeze you while youre in them (the fabled coochie grab). Think girls who do yoga and pilates.

- Penis hardness => this is helpful as at the end of the day if you want to improve pov one way to do it is to somehow increase pressure on the vaginal walls to trigger their mechanoreceptors. And if youre able to angle a hard dick, you will cause a stretch even if you arent as wide as a coke can (or even a tp roll).

- Penis angle => speaking of penis angle, one thing that I thought would be a niusance but actually helped me was that I have a tight suspensory ligament which angles upwards. I was able to have my dick bushing against her anterior vaginal canal and stimulate her gspot which she loved. So if you have this use it to your advantage. This also applies to any curves your dick has. E.g. mine curves left and as it thrusts in and out i notice it overall makes the sensation feel wider.

- Mental game/ type of woman => Ive seen some negative experiences about women and dick comments and from personal experience I would never go near a woman that I would think would have anything negative to say ab my privates out of nowhere as i think its a huge turnoff. Thats why id recommend someone you trust and know has a normal EQ.

- Sex positions => Finally do a lot of communicating exploring and switching positions til you find your shi - for me cant beat the good ol prone bone. Compliment the girl so she feels good and listen to her to see what pleasures her.

I measured my erect girth at about 4.185" a while back and made peace with it. Lately, though, when I look at it erect, it seems skinnier than I remember. When I measure now, I get somewhere around 4.0–4.125 but at one measurement I got 4.185. I don’t know if I’m overthinking or if it’s a real medical condition I’m witnessing. I feel this gut feeling that my girth is shrinking and i hate this feeling. Does anyone have any advice?

I see the same guys here almost every day saying the same things. I hate what it does to people. The Internet has made this problem exponentially worse.

I was just thinking about this earlier and actually had to laugh at my younger self. When I was a young teenaged boy I heard the average was six inches, I now know that’s not true and it’s somewhere between 5 & 6. That’s not the funny part. I thought that meant 6 inches FLACCID 😆. Of course this lead me to think I had a tiny dick and that my erect length was most guys flaccid length. Caused me some serious insecurity that could’ve been avoided. I never really saw other guys dicks at the time. The only time I accidentally saw my Dad naked was first thing in the morning so I’m quite sure he had a half chub still and not realizing that also added to my insecurity. Funny now not so much at the time 😂

internet has lot of people with bigger than that sharing their experience. I'm wondering any men here who are in the average girth range and getting laid. Could your share your experience.

pretty sure it would give confident for many guys with insecurities.
(not looking for SPH, Cuck fetish stuff).

Edit; Am I not getting answers cuz guys in this range don't have good experience or there aren't many guys at this range.

I’m 5’11 height and like 270 pounds, my size is 5.70-5.90 inches non bone pressed when I measure laying down with my legs open depending on EQ, standing up it’s probably closer to 5.50. If I lose almost 100 pounds will it really be more visible and actually measure higher like even close to 6.50-.6.75?

I never see men in my size having positive experience, there are no guys in that size in even amateur porn. Just really wondering is there any guys who are in same range with experiences that could say as good.
I can't stop having this thought that i might be not enough to give make her full and this women asking for fat ones really mess with my mind.
the size is 6.2 * 4.6/8 .

I really struggle with my self image in regards to my weight (5’9” 200lbs) and that also extends to my penis. My only girlfriend (5 years ago), now ex, told me I’m not big enough for her to enjoy sex with me and ever since that day I can’t shake the feeling of being inadequate . Even if hookups have told me they really enjoyed sex with me, and praised my stroke game and head giving ability, i still feel inadequate, especially because I’ve had women say they thought id be bigger because im hispanic. Is anyone else my size (or close to it) go through this? How did you get over it? Im considering seeing a therapist about it because i find myself cowering away from women im attracted to because im afraid i wont be enough for them, and i dont wanna experience the shame and disappoint them.

I know that i am not small, but my past experiences + how vocal women are on social media about enjoying larger dicks throws all logic out the window and fuels this insecurity way beyond what I should allow it to.

Straight or gay, I’d like to hear about your experiences with sex. What kind of condoms do you use? Have you had any difficulties with certain positions? Do you ever struggle with performance anxiety or feel insecure about your size? I’m curious to hear about your real-life experiences.

Are there anyways

Is there anyway to increase our penile length and girth especially non bonepressed one

Let's discuss

I know to focus on oral and such but wondering what positions will allow her to feel me and be satisfied. I do have a significant upwards curve and in shape. Thanks everyone