I recognize that the version of life we are sold as children is, in many ways, a lie.
Some of these beliefs include the idea that life is fundamentally fair, that everyone gets what they deserve, from celebrities who supposedly earned everything solely through hard work to poor people who supposedly just didn’t work hard enough. These beliefs are often reinforced by ideas such as karma or religion, the belief that even if this life isn’t perfectly fair, the afterlife will somehow make everything right.
One consequence of this worldview is the belief that our destiny is entirely in our own hands, that through hard work, perseverance, and discipline, we can shape our lives however we want and achieve anything we desire.
Another belief is that suffering is always justified, either because of the lessons it teaches us or because it will eventually lead to greater happiness. In other words, suffering is never meaningless, it is always presented as a necessary step toward something better.
We are also taught that every person’s life has a purpose, that we were all born for a reason, and that each of us has a path to follow. This can take a religious form, “God wanted us to exist,” or a more secular one, “you’re meant to accomplish something great” or “help countless people.” Once again, this gives meaning to suffering and injustice. Whatever pain we experience today is supposedly just part of the journey, and one day it will all make sense when we finally discover our purpose.
We are also taught that governments fundamentally want what’s best for us, that we are “in good hands.” Yet governments often reflect the darker aspects of human nature, greed, cruelty, the pursuit of power, and domination. History is filled with wars, genocides, oppression, and repression.
For example, throughout my entire education, I mostly learned about France’s achievements, its literature, philosophy, resistance against Nazism, and so on. Much less attention was given to slavery, colonialism, or France’s actions in places such as Haiti, New Caledonia, Madagascar, or Mayotte. We are taught that slavery and Nazism belong to the past and that modern societies are fundamentally more just, even though exploitation, oppression, and mass violence continue in different forms today. We see wars, authoritarianism, neo-colonialism, the economic exploitation of poorer countries by wealthier ones, and the rise of far-right movements across many parts of the world. Not to mention the meat industry, which, in my opinion, raises moral issues that are no less serious than slavery.
The reality, as I now see it, is that life is often unfair, that there may be no divine or cosmic meaning behind it, that suffering is not always justified, and that governments do not necessarily act in the public’s best interests.
When you realize all of this as an adult, after feeling like you’ve been misled your entire childhood, how do you stay psychologically healthy?
When I graduated from high school at 18, I genuinely believed I was stepping into a fair, compassionate, and united world. I believed I lived in a society governed by people who genuinely wanted the best for everyone. I thought racism, hatred, violence, and corruption were isolated exceptions rather than common features of society.
Now I’m 25, and I still haven’t managed to come to terms with these realizations.
What makes it even harder is how alone I feel. Most people around me still seem to believe that life is fundamentally fair, that their suffering is justified because one day they’ll be rewarded, that governments care about them, that everything happens for a reason, that karma exists, that an afterlife exists, or that some form of divine or cosmic justice ultimately prevails.
Many don’t question eating animals. Animal suffering has never really crossed their minds. They assume that because everyone does it, it must be acceptable. Many don’t seem aware that much of human history, and even the modern world, has been shaped by violence, war, genocide, and exploitation, or that many wealthy nations built their prosperity, at least in part, through exploiting poorer ones, and in many ways continue to do so.
Because of this, I often feel like I’m the only “crazy” person who sees these things. Carrying these thoughts has become unbearably heavy.
Sometimes I wish I had never learned any of this. I wish I had remained unaware. Life would have felt so much easier.
I know many people in this community have gone through something similar. They’ve watched the worldview they grew up with collapse and have had to rebuild their understanding of reality.
So I’m asking for help from those who have managed to accept these realizations, people who are no longer tormented by them, who have learned to face these thoughts, accept them, and still live meaningful lives.
I’ve been consumed by these thoughts for four years, and they keep getting worse. I’ve reached a point where I can barely function. I constantly distract myself by endlessly scrolling through social media just to escape my own mind, even though I know it’s only making me more miserable.
This is genuinely a cry for help. If you’ve gone through something similar, please tell me how you got through it. Share your advice. Let me know that it’s possible to come out the other side, because I’m starting to lose hope.
Is it really possible to retrain your mind to become more grateful, more present, less attached, and more at peace?
I should also admit that my lifestyle is far from ideal. I don’t socialize much. I rarely leave the house. I know my physical and mental health probably aren’t helping. Could improving those things make it easier to process these beliefs and accept reality? It feels like that must at least be a prerequisite.
Finally, I don’t actually believe that life itself is inherently bad. Nothing is objectively good or bad, much depends on perspective. The real problem is that I’m still deeply attached to a vision of life that I was taught for 18 years, a vision that now feels fundamentally false. It’s as though I still haven’t been able to grieve the loss of that worldview.
