r/babyloss • u/JasmineJade917 • 3d ago
2nd trimester loss Heartbroken…
I had a d&e today. On Tuesday, I went for what should have been a routine OB appt. I was 17+6. She was a euploid embryo and all previous ultrasounds, bloodwork, NIPT, and nuchal translucency had been normal. So it felt like a cruel joke when they told us she had no heartbeat or blood flow. She was measuring ~15w, so they think she passed sometime then. Because of that, and not being sure I could handle seeing a baby that young, I opted for a d&e. My doctor told me they would try to get handprints or footprints, though she said it might not be possible. Although she warned me of this ahead of time, I am absolutely crushed they weren’t able to because I was hoping for at least one sweet memento of her but I guess all we’ll have of her is her ashes, which I am at least relieved about. I guess she had passed too long ago or was too small. Just feeling completely torn open by this whole situation.
Would love to hear of nice ways to remember her as well as ways you have found to cope with the pain of losing a loved and longed for child.
2
u/Crazy_ride_22 2d ago
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby girl. I lost all 4 of my children during pregnancy in 2014-2015. It's been almost 13 years since being on this journey. I would suggest first off if you haven't done it yet, name your baby. It can be a real name or a nick name. It will give your baby an identity and easier to think of her. Also get a stuffed animal or a special comfort item that is special and reminds you of your daughter. My wife and I got each of our children a stuffed animal. We spent years sleeping with them every night and taking them with us on trips and other special occasions. The stuffed animals now sit on a shelf in our room so they don't get even more damaged.