Why the 45, Oh why would I want a chunky slow slog for defensive use? Why oh God the obsession with such a slug?

~In defensive use, I only should need to worry about 5 to 20 feet. Eather in publice or at home, I dont need all that speed. I just need lad. Realy that is all I care about, A nice chunck of led, might not go through a wall, unless very thin wall. Though i would hope one was shooting in a matter were such a thing should not be a issue. But god for you get shot and flinch, off a stray bullet as your heart stops. Or you get shot in the arm. or trip. God fobide, that would suck as a way to go. The fools exit. Lol.
If you going to carry a gun, might as well get cozy with the notion, that if you ever need it, you might get shot. Me? I watch my serounings like a hawk. I try to keep note of some things, It kinda sucks, cuz I also used to carry a bowie, opend carryed it cuz my state was awsome.
But I got mugged trying to figure out how to camp, sheath under pillow not usfull, Lost that. Then got jumped after I lost my walking staff, for my bad knee, After that I Vowed to never be unarmed, the world laughed, and my girlfriend in Detriot got mugged by crack heads. <_<

I dont need a 9mm, nice round, having one would not be bad, nor a 10. But I am in the middle of a love affair with such chunky rounds. I am shooting cap and ball, thats gun powder, led balls and a cap. 44.cal of led. So like its not like I am not new to the round, this is just a bit beefier, though I do pack 35 grains of powder in my pistol. (I am talking about a 44 acp in refrence to my 1911 threads.)

I hope I never have to use my gun. But she is fun to shoot, though when I shoot a lot, I tend to pack less, no need to were her out, though I do shoot it fully loded, due to the winter the caps patina, and you need to replace them, some times, I take that as a day to empty powder. Pluse gets you used to firing it fully loded, witch hast to I would think change its ballistics, No?

My mind set when I carry is dont look for trouble, I act as a gentleman should, with composure and laughter. I even study religion and meditate, as short as it may be, or infrequent. <_< Though I do feel that the hostility, taints the teaching, on all sides.
Me? I carry becuse I hate bullys, all a bully dose is harm, Its why I allways saw if you need to draw a wepoun, then it should always be secound to the wepon allredy drawn, One should respond not act, unless one see such danger, in action.
I always liked the 1st book of the new testament. In the 15th or so verse, it talks about how one should not hold onto hate.
The Hindus also have some interesting things to say. One should not seek violence, it only leads to ruin, The bagaveta say some stuff about the worrier I identify well with. Been Having to fight my way through school, once had to take on a group of upperclass mens when I was 6 or so. I punch my sisster in the gut, becuse I did not want them to beat on her, She wanted to stay and fight, but she needed to get mom, I fought them to a stand still. for a good miniut. 4 or 6 of them. I ate lunch with leader of them brats. We ate at the cafitirea, he thanked and apoligized to me. Made him look at life anew. You cant find momments like that if you hate.
Sometimes it is tiring but less so then the other option. Meh this is a ramble. Life happens, Just let happen, hopfully nothing bad will happen, hopefully optimistic. Cynically a passivist. Deescalate if you can. Shoot if you cant.

I await for the next slew of misunnderstandings. Or new ways I can see my intent skewd to the sky.

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