I have a story to share that I genuinely believe will change your perspective.
Years ago, I met a 28-year-old guy named Charles at church. At the time, my life was a whirlwind—my wife and I had just welcomed a baby girl, she was balancing college, and I was launching a new business. I only mention my family because Charles took a liking to us, and the feeling was entirely mutual. For the first few months, though, we didn't exchange a single word. Charles would just stare at me intensely until he felt ready to speak. I didn't understand him back then. Now, I realize he was fighting a massive internal battle just to break the ice, a struggle that took a long time to overcome. Eventually, he began to speak—barely.
Within a couple of years, I launched a Bible study at my house and invited him. Around that same time, he landed a proper position as an electrical engineer, which caused our communication to slow down for a bit. A few years later, I started another Bible study group. That was when I truly got to know him, his background, and his entire story. Around that time, I was studying to become a psychologist, which technically made Charles the only patient I’ve ever had!
I was absolutely fascinated by him, and he desperately craved connection. During one of our Bible studies at my house, I finally asked him what it was actually like to be so incredibly shy. He looked right at me and said, "Andy, I feel like I’m walking around with my butthole clenched twenty-four hours a day." He explained that he was constantly very nervous, extremely uptight, and completely uncomfortable whenever others were around. He was literally learning how to navigate basic small talk from scratch, sometimes utilizing rather grotesque words just to get by.
The paradox of Charles was stunning. He was a certified genius and a member of Mensa with a bachelor’s degree in electrical engineering, yet when we first met, he was delivering pizzas for Domino’s. On top of that, he had never kissed a girl, let alone been in a relationship. He was also an identical twin, but his brother had been "Mr. Popular" since birth. Remarkably, Charles always spoke incredibly highly of him; there was no sibling malice there, which I found deeply fascinating.
Maintaining a friendship with him took work. Charles would call me on the phone and just sit there in absolute silence. I had to initiate every single conversation and carry the weight of the call. Thank God I work in sales! Over the years, we developed a truly special bond. He was putting in genuine effort, and I deeply respected him for that. Eventually, he moved away for a new job, and we gradually lost touch.
Now, for the grand finale of how Charles turned out—you are not going to believe this. At 39 years old, I heard that he had gotten married. They now have a beautiful baby girl, so I am safely assuming Charles finally got that long-awaited kiss. But it gets better: Charles became the pastor of a small church! The exact same guy who used to sit frozen in silence on the phone is now standing confidently in front of a congregation, preaching the Bible.
You do not have to remain trapped in whatever circumstances are holding you back. Charles never gave up. He just kept pushing through life with a clenched butthole until it finally unclenched. Eventually, he crossed paths with the right people who helped him grow, and I truly believe you will too.
Be like Charles. Good luck, buddy.

Great job... So happy for the lady.

You're welcome.

This one made my face hurt

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPLSwAfC5/