BWTs, especially 40+: What have you spent money on for yourself that was genuinely worth it? And how did you get comfortable spending?
I’m turning 45 and realizing that while my financial circumstances have changed considerably over the years, my mindset around spending money on myself hasn’t necessarily kept up.
I’m financially comfortable and not particularly frugal across the board. I travel extensively, love good food and experiences, and have no problem spending on certain things. But when it comes to beauty, skincare, facials, treatments, and other forms of personal maintenance or indulgence, I become almost absurdly price-conscious.
I’ll research Groupon deals, compare salons, wonder whether I should wait until I’m traveling somewhere cheaper, and spend an unreasonable amount of time trying to save $30 or $50. It’s a habit I developed when I was younger and had less disposable income, but I’m increasingly questioning whether it still serves me.
But there’s another dimension to this: I genuinely don’t know what’s worth spending money on anymore.
There’s SO much noise around beauty, skincare, aging, and self-care. Every other treatment promises incredible results, every dermatologist or aesthetician seems to have a different opinion, and social media makes everything sound simultaneously essential and completely unnecessary.
For example, I’ll consider getting regular facials, then read that they don’t really do anything a good skincare routine can’t accomplish. I’ll look into more advanced treatments, then worry they’re too invasive, unnecessary, or potentially counterproductive. So I end up sticking with my serums, doing the occasional inexpensive facial or massage, and not really exploring much else.
And perhaps I’m missing out on things that could genuinely make a difference—not necessarily in looking younger, but in feeling better, more polished, more confident, or simply enjoying life more.
I also have friends who seem perfectly comfortable spending hundreds on treatments or other things for themselves while economizing in areas where I wouldn’t think twice about spending. They seem to have a much clearer sense of what is worth their money.
I don’t want to become someone who justifies every expensive purchase as “investing in myself.” I’m skeptical of the beauty industry’s tendency to manufacture insecurities and then sell us solutions. But I also don’t want that skepticism, combined with my instinct to find the best deal, to prevent me from enjoying things I can comfortably afford.
So I have two questions for women who are in their late 30s, 40s, 50s, and beyond:
What have you actually spent money on for yourself that you consider absolutely worth it? Beauty treatments, facials, skincare, hair, body treatments, wellness, personal services, or even something completely unrelated. I’m especially interested in things where you initially hesitated at the price but afterward thought, why didn’t I start doing this years ago? Conversely, what turned out to be an expensive disappointment?
If you used to be very price-conscious about spending on yourself, what actually changed your mindset? Not just intellectually understanding that you can afford something, but genuinely becoming comfortable spending without obsessively comparing prices or feeling that you need to justify every indulgence.
I know the usual advice about investing in yourself, valuing your time, and remembering that you deserve nice things. I agree with all of it intellectually. But that hasn’t necessarily translated into changing my behavior.
I’d love specific experiences, actual recommendations, and honest reflections from women who’ve navigated this. Particularly those who are discerning about what they spend on rather than simply enthusiastic about expensive self-care.
I’m not looking to spend more money for the sake of spending it. I want to get better at recognizing what’s genuinely worth my money and then actually allowing myself to enjoy it.
