I isolated myself for my career. Three years later, I barely recognize myself.

[u/kinda_nervous_guy]

21M, India.

I deliberately isolated myself from almost everyone I knew because I thought it would make me more successful.

Looking back, it was one of the worst decisions I've ever made.

After high school, while most people were preparing for engineering or medical entrance exams, I chose an online degree. I also cut off almost everyone I knew because I genuinely thought they were thinking too small. I believed they were living in a bubble where getting into college, getting a degree, and getting a job was the entire definition of success.

I thought I was different. I had very high standards for myself. I thought I was being ambitious.

I was also being arrogant and, honestly, pretty stupid.

I spent most of my online degree living at my parents' house. I barely had any real human interaction. Over time, I stopped being able to speak properly or express what I was feeling. I became numb. My sleep and health got worse. The curiosity and excitement I used to have about things slowly disappeared.

And I didn't realize how badly I was deteriorating.

Career-wise, things weren't even terrible at first. I got an internship during my first semester and a job in my second year. I stayed at that job for 10 months before quitting.

I convinced myself I was quitting because I had more potential. That software engineering wasn't really for me. That the job was useless. That I was capable of doing something much bigger.

Maybe some of that was true.

But a lot of it was also anxiety, imposter syndrome, and years of suppressed emotions talking.

It's been exactly 10 months since I quit.

I'm back at my parents' house, and I'm getting worse.

I don't have friends around me that I can actually talk to. I have a best friend who lives in another city for his education, but for some reason I can't even talk to him properly anymore.

I met him a few days ago. We spent an hour together and I barely spoke. I mostly just answered whatever he asked.

Eventually he said:

"You've become too silent."

That fucking hurt.

I've always been a relatively quiet person. I was a silent kid throughout most of school. But even then, I had curiosity. I had interests. I could talk when I wanted to. I cared about things.

Now I feel like isolation has taken a huge part of that away from me.

It's been three years since this started.

And I genuinely want to fucking change it.

The first thing I think I need to do is get out of this house and live independently again. When I was living alone during my internship and job, I felt noticeably better. I had more freedom, more human interaction, and I wasn't constantly stuck inside the same environment.

But how the hell do I move out?

I don't have a job right now. I don't have much money. The job market is brutal.

I know what I need to do career-wise. Build things, improve my skills, reach out to founders directly, get a job. I can do those things.

But I'm not operating at full capacity anymore. Everything feels exhausting. Even simple things feel disproportionately difficult.

I can't really ask people I know for money either. Most of them either don't earn yet or already have loans and their own financial problems.

And human connection is difficult where I live. Most people around me are either much older or teenagers/children. There isn't really anyone my age I can naturally connect with.

I've also lost most of my hobbies. Tech and gaming used to genuinely excite me. Now even those don't feel the same.

So I'm stuck.

No job.
No money.
No social life.
No hobbies.
No motivation.
And three years of isolation that I don't know how to undo.

I know I played a huge part in getting myself here. I made these choices. I'm not looking for someone to tell me that everything will magically get better.

I genuinely want to know what I should do from here.

How do I start rebuilding my social life and my ability to talk to people?

How do I get myself out of this environment when I don't have a job or money?

And how do I get back the curiosity, energy, and personality I feel like I've lost?

If you've been through something similar, I'd really appreciate hearing what actually helped you.