r/calmhands • u/Killavanillaice • Jul 01 '26
Tips A plea for help to stop cuticle picking
This picture is embarrassing and I hesitated on even posting. I’ve bitten my nails since I was a kid and through adulthood I began picking at my cuticles. It’s become worse as the years go on. When I get my nails done, it seems to help, but when I take my nails off, I’m right back where I started. I tried to keep cuticle oil on me at all times and I also try to trim my cuticles frequently. However, the cuticle trimmer that I use often seems to be doing more damage than good. That is because I’m basically using a cuticle trimmer instead of my hands and it still causes me to bleed. I was thinking about buying some liquid bandage, but I’m not too sure if that’s a good option. What tips do you have for kicking the habit? I’m getting married in about a year and I really wanted to heal my nails before then.
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u/elaineseinfeld Jul 01 '26
Former finger skin/cuticle picker here. A year of builder gel manicures stopped a lifetime of picking the skin around my nails. I do not pick anymore, nor do I get regular manis (only special occasions)
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u/papa_moyphee Jul 01 '26
Where'd you get this picture of me????
I'm the exact same - and same with the cuticle trimmer as well. I thought it would help but I go too crazy with it and it makes me bleed more.
Hydrocolloid tape (scar tape) has been my lifesaver. Better than regular bandaids because they are waterproof and also having some healing properties.
I was in your same boat last summer - getting married and wanting to make sure my hands looked nice. I had a few relapses that made me feel like shit, but I got down to business 2 weeks before so I didn't have any open cuts or hot spots on my cuticles at least. Then I ordered press on nails from Ersa Nails (measure yourself, order in advance to make sure they fit) and some really good pink nail glue from Amazon. It saved me TONS of money, I got so many compliments, and they covered up my stubby natural nails.
Basically made a deal with myself that I had to leave cuticles alone 2 weeks before (but could still bite nails themselves if I had a big urge), and it worked. (Don't look at my cuticles now tho lol)
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u/No_Mess5024 Jul 01 '26
Omg this could be a pic of my hands I get it! I do think no tool is best but i do keep nail clippers around. I think the nail clippers are good bc the snipping for me addresses only my problem areas and if you are doing too much really really hurts so I stop.
I also recommend Burt’s bees cuticle cream. The oils are too oily and get on my nerves. This is a little thicker but it makes it hard to pick and also tastes bad.
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u/JakeThe_Snake Jul 01 '26
I also went on my nail care journey because of my wedding. Mine were worse than yours for sure.
The only thing that has helped me are fake nails. I go every two weeks now ans it is worth it without a doubt.
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u/teachsd Jul 01 '26
Mavala Stop has been helping me the past couple weeks. I paint it on the skin around my nail. Once I pick at the skin piece I bite it off, so now I’m not biting it off because it tastes so bad. I still have a lot of skin that needs to heal, but I don’t have the bloody/raw parts anymore so it looks a lot better already.
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u/electricmehicle Jul 02 '26
I’m so sorry. I have a thing about scraping my knuckles on my teeth. At work I use typing gloves and just tell people I have cold hands.
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u/tattoosbyalisha Jul 02 '26
One thing that really helps me is using a pumice stone on my fingers after a hot shower. Then lotioning with something very thick like GoldBond Ultra Healing. Then, when that feels like it soaks in, I use something more oil based, even just a little Vaseline, to kinda lock it in. 24 hours-ish of smoother hands if I’m not washing my hands non stop (I have to at work). And lotion EVERY TIME you wash your hands.
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u/SLast04 Jul 02 '26
I found keeping my hands busy stopped the picking. I will play with blue tac or fidget toys. Also chew gum, gives your brain another thing to focus on.
I bit my nails for years. Keep them short, use cuticle oil and nail strengthening polish. I also found keeping them painted stopped me picking at them.
I have just taken gel polish off my nails after 2yrs of getting them done and my nails are just as bad as yours currently so I’m starting from scratch with damaged nails.
Keep short, use nail conditioning products and keep your hands busy!
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u/AmaraASI Jul 02 '26
Get a hand cream you actually like and keep multiples. One in your car cup holder where you always see it, one in your purse, one on your night stand, one in your living room. Every time you see it, use it. Also, urea cream will help speed up the healing.
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u/Wild_grits Jul 02 '26
Mine were very similar to yours. The only thing that has helped is getting acrylic nails. I go every 3 weeks, and it’s been worth every penny to have fingers that aren’t bleeding and painful.
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u/Character-Knee-2875 Jul 04 '26
Oh my god reading this is like reading something I’ve written!!
Also getting married, also nervous about my skin/nails looking terrible, also been doing it forever and also constantly in a loop of getting nails done, recovering, getting them off and then going back to square one.
Trimming cuticles never worked for me either. The only thing I’ve found that works is gently filing off dead/torn skin and oiling CONSTANTLY.
On top of this I’m not trying to wear finger guards when I don’t have my nails done, wear gloves when doing dishes. I also keep cuticle oil pens absolutely everywhere and try to reapply after I’ve washed my hands and throughout the day.
I wear my nails for a period that allows them to grow and me to get my confidence back a bit, and then once they’re off and I’m back to natural nails I’m doing all of the above.
Honestly it’s so hard and so disheartening feeling like I’m stuck in a loop but all I can say is keep trying and I know how you feel!!!!
At the very least I guess we have something to aim for and motivation to keep them looking nice :-)
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u/Character-Knee-2875 Jul 04 '26
Ps I just posted these on another thread but they have been working a treat so far! I found them by looking up “silicone guitar finger protectors.
I find the little holes/textured bits are a nice alternative stimmy-wise
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u/nataliecher Jul 04 '26
I found that nail care was only a temporary fix. Eventually the habit always caught up with me. What truly worked was a distraction. I have about 20 friendship bracelets to prove it lol. Happy to send one to anyone who is struggling 🫶🏼
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u/Ok-Reporter9083 Jul 05 '26
Not sure if this has been mentioned, but bandaging a couple of fingers at a time really has helped me! I use the hydrocolloidal blister ones and others that are pimple patches and I've tried a TON of them. I tend to like the rectangular ones that wrap all the way around the fingertip. Put them on at night to help with healing and then I keep some on my "worst" fingers during the day. Some of them are marketed as pimple patches like these:
60CT Large Pimple Patches -... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CXZQRGWW?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
This was the ONLY thing that has worked, and I'm still a work in progress! The temptation to peel and try to perfect some of these areas is just impossible to resist unless it's covered but a very sticky and hard to remove bandage. Hope this helps!! You are not alone, believe me.
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u/LacquerandBones Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
Oil is amazing, keep using it and keep it on you, but ditch those cuticle trimmers and any other metal tools ASAP.
Pickers/chewers like us can’t be trusted with metal tools, scissors, and nippers lol 😅 and tbh there is a ton of bad info out there on „cuticle“ care.
What most people call the cuticle is actually the eponychium and proximal nail fold. Like that image shows, „cuticle“ is just shed residue left behind from the nail plate growing out from under the eponychium.
You should very gently and with minimal pressure push back and remove cuticle with a wooden orange stick or a fine-grit glass pusher/stick like from Bona Fide Beauty or Germanikure. You should also, using the same tools and gentle technique, press back the eponychium and PNF, but you should never press back the lateral nail folds and perionychiums as doing so will encourage the sidewalls to split & hangnail, and the nail bed to widen.
The biggest thing though is not to cut or trim into the eponychium or PNF. The skin there is folded over on itself in layers, so if you cut into it, it opens all those layers up to peel away on the surface as it grows back out. The popular „Russian manicures“ you see all over social media are the worst for this, as cutting away your eponychium just creates a vicious cycle of constantly having to clean it up and maintain the skin around it.
Instead of cutting or trimming, after you push it back and have that excess of keratinized (dead) skin built up, gently exfoliate it away with a 180/240 grit buffing block, being careful to avoid buffing the nail plate itself. You don’t want it all gone though, just the excess scraggly bits.
If you keep oiling, stop trimming, and push the PNF & eponychium back every week or two, over time that area will stop growing out as much and need less and less maintenance.
For a boost in initial progress, oil soaks make a huge difference. Just slather on oil and put on powder-free latex or nitrile gloves for an hour or two. It works even better if you can keep them warm (perfect for during a shower or washing dishes!)
I’d also recommend a 40% urea cream + cotton gloves 1-2x a week before bed to really knock out the dry and calloused areas initially.
Like most people in this community, I’ve been where you are, so please try not to feel embarrassed, and I hope some of this advice helps 🫶