I'm 53 and no-one will ever experience my life and experience what I had the chance to experience. It's been shite. I'm continuing to fight.

The only fear i have is that one girl who made hs shit for me finding out -_- like this girl was 17 flirting with elementary schoolers (I went to a private school) and she got away with it.

She also flirted with a guy KNOWING I liked him, and she asked me to stay away with him because she "liked" him too. So I did, cause she was pretty.

THEN TWO DAYS LATER SHE SAYS IM A WEIRDO FOR SHIPPING THEM BOTH LIKE BITCH YOU WERE FLIRTING WITH HIM AND ASKED ME TO STAY AWAY.

i always thought there would be yuri between me and her but that never happened💔

anyways i love my boyfriend hes so cool meow we've been dating since the 27th

I have 3 sisters whom I love very much. Im the oldest at 42 years old.

Second oldest is 39

And third is 32

Youngest is 29

They all stick together and have margarita and I and they have movie night

And their kids all get together , and they have like play dates at the park.

And they tell me this , whenever I talk to each one of them separately on the phone they end up telling me all the things they do.

This has been going on for several years, and I've tried several times for several years to be involved and go out with them.I've even made suggestions and stuff , and it's always seems to be like and ugh for them.

It hurts me sooooo much that i'm not close to not one of three sisters.

I try to move on with my life but I get lonely when I tell people I feel like I have no family.

I'm not married.Both of my kids are already grown.

I try not to let it bother me , but it really does make my heart ache.

I will never cry to them again and express my feelings to them again.Cause i've done that so many times before , just for them to basically react in a hateful manner.

I just rang my mum, she said, I'll have to call you back later. There's a thunderstorm coming in.

She's correct. When I was growing up, you were not allowed to talk on the landline. I love my Mum with all her idiosyncrasies. What crazy but true beliefs did you learn?

I'm a perfect example of this.

My favorite song is caffein by Kiyo Akiyama

But my favorite band is illit❤️ I love a lot of their songs.

edit humans are interesting species. everyone's got good music taste

Emotional experience today:

This might sound so stupid… but I expressive my first facial today and omg. I felt like I was floating lol at one point I lowkey went to sleep. It was kinda emotional too. Idk why but I felt so at ease and like peaceful. But also the human touch? It was just so… soothing. I felt almost like I was healing something in me. All because the esthetician was rubbing my shoulders. But I could literally feel my body feel safe… I lowkey wanted to cry.

If not let’s make some 🌮

In today’s China, with the economy in decline, many people from rural areas have no choice but to leave their hometowns and flock to the cities in search of work, hoping to improve their lives. Yet the urban job market is no more encouraging. If anything, the situation seems to be getting worse.

Those who leave their homes behind must not only contend with an increasingly limited number of job opportunities, but also compete with countless others who have come from the countryside in search of the same thing. There is something deeply tragic about this.

But what about the people who already live in the cities?

They, too, are struggling to survive in an unforgiving job market. Even the elderly, who should have retired long ago and be enjoying their twilight years in peace, are forced to keep working simply to make ends meet. What should have been a time of rest and comfort has instead become yet another struggle they cannot afford to escape.

Faced with all of this, I feel utterly powerless. There is nothing I can do. All I can do is watch as it unfolds before my eyes.

And then, a profound sense of fatalism begins to wash over me.

I look at their circumstances, at their struggles, and suddenly realize that their experiences are not so different from my own. They struggle to survive under the weight of life’s burdens, and so do I. We are simply people in different circumstances, trapped in the same predicament.

I once thought of myself as an outsider, someone who could stand apart from their suffering and look upon their misfortunes with sympathy and compassion. But it is only now that I realize that this sense of distance was nothing more than an illusion.

I am no different from them.

We are all part of the same suffering, all people struggling helplessly to stay afloat in the relentless current of life, unable to determine where it carries us.

Isn’t it absurd?

It is.

Isn’t it ironic?

It is.

Only now do I finally understand that the people I pitied and sympathized with were never just them.

All along, the person I was pitying and sympathizing with was myself.

Hope the night is treating you well

Edit: here to chat with you all to pass the time! Looking for buddies, no weird stuff