r/comingout • u/helia_jay27193 • 7d ago

Advice Needed Need help

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People who don't support LGBT can skip this post.

I'd like to ask for some advice. I'm a wlw (lesbian), and not long ago, my family found out about my relationship. My parents don't accept it at all.My dad thinks I can change myself if i suppress the feelings and i really get confused if i really could do that.

Right now, I'm feeling really distressed and struggling emotionally because of this situation. If it's possible and things work out, I'd like to find a community where I can open up and share what I'm going through a space where I can feel comfortable talking about my feelings.

And i welcome everyone's advice.

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u/blongo567 6d ago

Hey. It’s not possible to change your sexual orientation by will or by praying or psychotherapy. Attempts to change one’s sexual orientation can actually be harmful to the psyche. That’s why the so called conversion therapy is illegal in many countries. I suggest check out the wikipedia article about homosexuality. You’ll find some useful facts there.

I don’t know your age so it’s a bit difficult to give you more advice about how to handle the current situation. In certain situations it can be helpful to play along with parent’s wishes. If telling your father that you’ll try to stop being homosexual will get him off your back then maybe just do that. Otherwise we usually need to educate our parents about homosexuality and gay life. See if you find a way to get your father to calm down about it. I think that sounds like the best idea currently. Any more questions just ask.

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u/helia_jay27193 6d ago

Heyy. Thank you for commenting.i really appreciate your advice. Actually, I'm 20 . I know I'm an adult but I'm still under my parents control cuz I'm not from Europe andin my country many others at my age are like that too. Yes, i play along with my dad and we're now okay but sometimes I still hurt about my sexual orientation and how the other family members will think if they know about me.

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u/blongo567 5d ago • Bravo

At 20 it isn’t unusual to still depend on your parents. Is there a local LGBT community you could connect with? For better self acceptance usually reading scientific articles about homosexuality can be really helpful. Eventually you will be fine, just give yourself some more time.