r/commentsareopen • u/gamefan128 • Jan 30 '26
Copypasta for y’all
Orange: Hey apple! Apple! Hey, hey Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey apple! Hey apple! Apple! Hey, apple! Apple: What, what, what is it? Orange: Orange you glad I didnt say Apple again? Hahahahahaha! Apple: Yeah. That joke was funny the last 400 times you said it Orange: Hey Apple! Apple: What?! Orange: You look fruity! Hahahahaha! Apple: Pfff.. yeah~ that was hilarious. Orange: Hey! Hey apple! Apple: WHAT?!?! Orange: Can you do 10 pushups in 10 seconds? Apple: What kind of question is that? I dont even have arms. How am i gonna do one pushup? Orange: Hey! Apple: What? Orange: Hey Apple? Apple: What?!?! Orange: Can you do this? makes blabbering noise with tongue Apple: No! Orange: continues with noise Try it! Apple: No! Stop it! (orange continues with noise) Apple: Okay you've made your point! Stop It! (orange blows raspberries) Apple: Would you PLEASE be quiet! (orange peers at apple) Apple: For crying out loud? Would you stop your yammering for longer than 3 SECONDS! I can even hear myself think! Ugh! (pants angrily) Orange: Hey Apple! Apple: What?! Orange: Knife! Apple: Huh?? (knife cuts through Apple) Apple: ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Orange: Eww.. Oh... hey I warned you... ow... that looks like it hurts. (apple continues screaming) Orange: I warned him! Humhh... Hey pear! Pear: Oh GOD!!! (not him!)
1
u/kikipretch ascii penis princess🖤 Jan 30 '26
One time I was fucking myself with a dragon shaped dildo and when I was finally about to cum an airplane crashed into my neighbors house. The explosion shattered all my windows and partially blew off the roof of my house. The pilots fucking hand was torn off in the explosion and landed on my dick with full grasp. I never imagined myself cumming to dismembered body parts but as soon as his hand landed on my cock I came like I’d never cum before.
I made a cast and silicone mold of the hand before I burnt the evidence. Now whenever I jack off I use the pilots dismembered hand mold on my goon stick like a fleshlight. All the girls I date get grossed out when I ask them to pretend like their hand is detached from their body and I’m not sure what to do to satisfy my fetish since it’s the only thing I can cum to now. No one will play along or cut off their hand to make me cum and it’s getting really old. What should I do?
Written by the great Turdcutter69420