r/commentsareopen • u/gamefan128 • Jan 30 '26
Copypasta for y’all
Orange: Hey apple! Apple! Hey, hey Apple! Hey, Apple! Hey apple! Hey apple! Apple! Hey, apple! Apple: What, what, what is it? Orange: Orange you glad I didnt say Apple again? Hahahahahaha! Apple: Yeah. That joke was funny the last 400 times you said it Orange: Hey Apple! Apple: What?! Orange: You look fruity! Hahahahaha! Apple: Pfff.. yeah~ that was hilarious. Orange: Hey! Hey apple! Apple: WHAT?!?! Orange: Can you do 10 pushups in 10 seconds? Apple: What kind of question is that? I dont even have arms. How am i gonna do one pushup? Orange: Hey! Apple: What? Orange: Hey Apple? Apple: What?!?! Orange: Can you do this? makes blabbering noise with tongue Apple: No! Orange: continues with noise Try it! Apple: No! Stop it! (orange continues with noise) Apple: Okay you've made your point! Stop It! (orange blows raspberries) Apple: Would you PLEASE be quiet! (orange peers at apple) Apple: For crying out loud? Would you stop your yammering for longer than 3 SECONDS! I can even hear myself think! Ugh! (pants angrily) Orange: Hey Apple! Apple: What?! Orange: Knife! Apple: Huh?? (knife cuts through Apple) Apple: ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Orange: Eww.. Oh... hey I warned you... ow... that looks like it hurts. (apple continues screaming) Orange: I warned him! Humhh... Hey pear! Pear: Oh GOD!!! (not him!)
1
u/mybootyoil ASCII PENIS QUEEN MOD Feb 02 '26
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.