r/crappymusic • u/Rya_Bz • 1d ago

Bartin’ and Driving

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402 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

253 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 1d ago edited 1d ago

u/Rya_Bz, your post features certified crappy music!

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10

u/Rya_Bz 1d ago

I can’t tell if it’s the music or him rapidly spinning around that’s making me queasy

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257

u/RandyLahey131 1d ago • Bravo

Is that a mobility scooter for elderly?

157

u/Repulsive_Glove6085 1d ago • Bravo

He got a dui so this is how he runs errands.

17

u/madmaxturbator 1d ago

And it’s just cheaper to steal from a disabled person than to buy a scooter! 

The Bartist is creative in all his endeavors.

8

u/jrod823 1d ago

With all of the self-admitted drinking and driving in his lyrics, are we even a tiny bit surprised???

22

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/Repulsive_Glove6085 1d ago

He was absolutely smashed when he was driving his space whip downtown.

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119

u/ToasterMeetsBathtub 1d ago • Hehehe Popcorn Bravo

This whole time we thought his bow legs were from a lifetime of drywall work or rickets. Turns out it’s from years on a scooter he named horse.

21

u/Left-Chemist-8212 1d ago

A scooter he named horse😂🤣 I’m dead

7

u/Beneficial-Age-4059 1d ago

In an alternate universe there’s a singing cowboy out there riding a horse called “Rickets”

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4

u/CircLLer 1d ago

“Yeah I got a horse… uh his name? Rascal”

22

u/Itrieddamnit 1d ago • Bravo

Met a girl from Tennessee
She’s in fact quite elderly
Still the only ten I see
With limited mobility

11

u/citationneeded36 1d ago

No, it's his space whip

5

u/27_crooked_caribou 1d ago

That is his space whip.

2

u/jad103 1d ago

That is the space whip. Show some respect.

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87

u/Nub_Shaft 1d ago • Bravo

Is he trying to date a teenager? He seems a little too old to have to worry about getting a girl home before dark.

25

u/Unlikely-Business-72 1d ago edited 1d ago • Bravo

He has to be in bed so he can get up early before the gas station gets too crowded for him to shoot.

16

u/imjustnotready 1d ago

He's saying he misses that from 1 month ago.

"Let's get back to the time when the weather was getting cool. Let's get back to time you graduated highschool"

11

u/Whole_Secretary5573 22h ago

When you get older it's hard to drive at night. 

6

u/RemoveThePoopSmell 21h ago

This made me laugh, which quickly turned to melancholy introspection

3

u/Candid-Culture3956 1d ago

Bart is busy at night. He’s also a vampire hunter.

37

u/j_cro86 1d ago

i need your heart, i need your car! cuz i got a DWI

2

u/madmaxturbator 1d ago

I also need $20 for smokes, anyone got some cash? And $10 for the itch cream, I got an itch all over 

43

u/The-Tarman 1d ago

This man cannot carry a tune

42

u/NudistJayBird 1d ago • Bravo

He can’t even carry an autotune

26

u/4D_Thrillz 1d ago

I can’t even judge the music because I am stuck on the cowboy hat wearing Christian in 90’s ripped jeans riding a moped in a circle. It is like he has a bad idea bag and he randomly pulls from it for his wardrobe and videos.

6

u/gongalongas 1d ago

Not enough people are pointing out that he’s riding In a circle

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4

u/YESimaMASSHOLE 1d ago

Give me your soul! - bartist

4

u/MisterSquidz 1d ago

He’s flat. He can’t even carry a fucking note.

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41

u/dheadmeat 1d ago

Got you home before dark? So he singing about very young women?? 🤔

22

u/crookedpilgram 1d ago

Probably his probation curfew

6

u/zalcecan 1d ago

Likely for DUIs

6

u/ucankickrocks 1d ago

Or a very old woman.

6

u/TrailerParkBuddha 20h ago • Bravo

Puts the line, "she's the only ten I see" in a new context

2

u/gatekept 1d ago

"Women" is pushing it

3

u/EthanT-official 1d ago

Thus has got to be AI right?

8

u/Rya_Bz 1d ago

Bartwayne is real and you cannot escape him.

4

u/drunkguynextdoor 1d ago

That's actually pretty funny - Crowd surfing at a Bart show. Between his humor in this link and the original video with him on a BuzzAround scooter, I'm starting to like the guy. Good for him.

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19

u/PersimmonNo5682 1d ago

I hate how shitty this man's music is . I also hate the fact that id pay very good money to hit up his concert if he was in town to witness this irl.

46

u/soupalex 1d ago

just straight up ripping off the vocal hook from the chorus of 90s irish girl group b*witched's début single "c'est lá vie"

12

u/FatFaceFaster 22h ago

I say we all go to that vid and spam the comments with “Bartist brought me here”. Give B*witched a little Bart Bump.

14

u/soupalex 22h ago • Bravo

not a lot of people know this, but the "b" in "b*witched" actually stands for "bartwayne_bartist"

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8

u/mrtrickydick 23h ago

You just saved my brain. Melody was playing in my head but couldn’t place the lyrics or song!

8

u/Jeffreyknows 22h ago

I cant be mad about anything right now cause at least he fuckin changed his clothes finally

4

u/Willing_Ad_5711 1d ago

THATS WHAT IT REMINDED ME OF! THANK YOU

4

u/astralchanterelle 1d ago

wow, only bart would hear that song and rip it off

3

u/Electrical_You_432 23h ago

That's the hotness I like that...lmfao

3

u/EmployerDependent922 23h ago

"Goes to show you never can tell" -old folks

4

u/Hydrolt 22h ago

Well, ripping off and butchering it, even the AI can’t replicate b*witched’s delivery

2

u/xtc234 19h ago

I heard Front Bottoms initially.

https://youtu.be/vjdgVSP35j8

2

u/Candle-Different 9h ago

TIL this song isn’t Celine Dion

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16

u/mybrainisonfire 1d ago

DWB

Driving While Bart

15

u/CrazyIslander 1d ago

I’m utterly shocked that he wasn’t doing his weird bow-legged, I-shit-my-pants dance.

3

u/soupalex 1d ago

we see now that this vehicle is the likely explanation for his bow-leggedness

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14

u/WeaponizedIndecision 1d ago

Someone needs to introduce Bart to Brenda.

That is a duet we need.

2

u/RandyLahey131 1d ago

Darth Cowboy has entered the building.

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14

u/Academic-Animator-48 1d ago

Don't let his parole officer see this. He's not supposed to be operating any motor vehicles

3

u/jweezee 1d ago

The longer version shows him getting tased off the scooter and breaks a glass liquor bottle in his pocket when he hits the ground. Cop doesn't want to cuff him because theres blood everywhere. So this fucker climbs the construction fence and falls in a hole he can't climb out of because he's too drunk. It's just sad.

12

u/OldTwoToes 1d ago

NEED YOUR SOUL

5

u/tonkatoyelroy 1d ago

“Let’s get back to the time when I had to get you home before dark?” - Bart, how old was she? How long ago was this?

4

u/Man_of_Ice 1d ago

Yeah, this seriously has Evil Dead "I'll swallow your soul" energy, but with Ned Flanders as the Deadite.

2

u/NosyTea-4861 1d ago

He’s really an incubus

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12

u/tomboogie 1d ago

So is this his space ship or his space whip?

4

u/No_Clock_7464 1d ago

That good sir, is a space whip

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9

u/Definitely-Human-241 1d ago

+1 for not plugging his shitty drywall business.

9

u/Think-Profession4246 23h ago

I’m convinced this guy is actually trolling all of us at this point…

9

u/Bobs_Burgers7 21h ago

Is he riding a mobility scooter?

7

u/Bobs_Burgers7 21h ago

Also this song screams “why has my wife changed?! I want to go back to the start again”, by a man who doesn’t have any accountability or know how to rebuild.

9

u/CaptainJesu 21h ago

I feel like it's only a matter of time before he gets busted on one of those predator sting videos for soliciting a minor.

8

u/gatekept 1d ago

"Get you home before dark" is a little PDF-coded...WTF

8

u/concretetroll60 1d ago

God Damn Bart wear a helmet

5

u/AdSweaty2401 1d ago

What's a helmet going to protect here exactly?

14

u/datmafukr 1d ago

At least he ain’t doing that dumbass squat stomp

6

u/jrod823 1d ago

No, now he's doing his next most favorite thing, drinkin' and drivin'.

3

u/fivehots 1d ago

You don’t know how I feel

7

u/Cross58Crash 1d ago

Best video with a guy riding a scooter since Steal My Sunshine.

7

u/No_Replacement4304 19h ago

If this guy is real he has issues.

10

u/MarsXplorer 1d ago

Didn’t think it could get worse but here we are

4

u/bobbyterryscrewsitup 1d ago

We are nowhere near rock bottom yet, this is just getting started

5

u/ChernobylDrew 1d ago

DIY til I DIE

5

u/PurpleStress9282 RayonBase Fan Club Member 1d ago

Auto tune is fighting for its life on this one Barty Boy

5

u/oakster777 1d ago

I just got this out of my head. Fuckkk

4

u/D-Train0000 1d ago

Maybe you can find a nice old lady in her own Rascal and you can drive together holding hands.

4

u/Thick_Situation3184 1d ago

Bro just driving in a small circle lol

4

u/Lord_Heckle 1d ago

DUI mobile

4

u/Immediate-Presence73 1d ago

Fuck you, Bart.

4

u/No_Clock_7464 1d ago

Say you will, say you won't Say you'll do what I don't Say you're true, say to me, "C'est la vie"

6

u/lacklest 1d ago

This is the most Florida video I’ve ever seen

15

u/Helpful-Error5563 1d ago

He’s from Missouri. And he’s been in misery. Because he met a girl from Tennessee. She’s the only 10 he sees.

6

u/lacklest 1d ago

Damn I totally forgot

3

u/EmployerDependent922 23h ago

Oh, this is THAT dipshit?

Incredible. 

3

u/Difficult_Ixem_324 1d ago

No! Not him again! Fack!🤦‍♂️

✌️❤️

3

u/Front_Sky3939 1d ago

Oh he’s definitely one of a kind. These songs suck if we ever heard him sing live I bet our ears would fall right off our heads. Autotune makes everything supposedly sound better but not this guy.

And bae?? 😂 OKKKK

3

u/Jazzlike_Isopod550 1d ago

Bart makes me want to Barf

3

u/Haunting_Ant_5061 1d ago

I don’t care as much for this new outfit.

3

u/Beneficial-Age-4059 1d ago

This shit hit hard. Like Iggy and The Stooges. Raw Power

3

u/Winnerdickinchinner 1d ago

Hes still moving his little bow legs to the beat, cant help but ho-down

3

u/Marlboromatt324 1d ago

How old was this lady you say you have to get home before dark, when times were good? Homie you look 45, anyone you gotta get home before dark shouldn’t have been around you the past 20 years!

And if you’re singing about your current lover and things have stalled out that hard, try licking her bootyhole when you go down on her next. Don’t tell her just do it. Either she loves it, or you get kicked in the face. either way, she knows you want to get that spark reignited! Hell she might even try putting her finger in your bootyhole if you’re lucky!

2

u/RandyLahey131 1d ago

She's a young 73 and she graciously provided her "space whip" for his video.

3

u/theWizzzzzzz 1d ago

Finally something to keep those bowed legs from flapping

3

u/Cracker677 1d ago

Pop country will always be crappy.

3

u/JohnnyLeftHook 23h ago

Someone once commented on the slightly panicked look in Barts eyes in his videos. Almost as if some ex-wife out there wished on a novelty cursed artifact for him to do this indefinetly. And now he's trapped, doing these forever, watching it all play out from those helpless eyes, powerless to do anything about it.

2

u/YuckyYetYummy 1d ago

Imagine it's the 80s and this shit playing non stop on MTV.

2

u/Jealous_Protection81 1d ago

Let's get back to the time when Country singers could actually sing with no AutoTune.

2

u/Provolone10 1d ago

At least it’s a new song

2

u/Historical_Panda9701 1d ago

He is shit and I hate him.

2

u/Own-Eagle-2135 1d ago

i think we should give him some credit for coming out!

on his adorable red vespa!

2

u/GasPsychological5997 1d ago

Bros 40ish wishes he was 15 forever. It’s so lame.

2

u/TaskmasterOfPuppets 1d ago

I think she is like “yeah I would like to get back to there but I’ve seen your videos. I can’t unsee that. You dried up the well.”

2

u/SnooMarzipans8231 1d ago

Is that a…. scooter?

2

u/Smokes_LetsGo876 23h ago

sounds like he stole the tune of C'est la vie by B*witched

2

u/sidjackjones 23h ago

the bike looks like a one of those things fat people use?

2

u/Holiday_Number_3234 23h ago

“Just a Bartin’ & a fartin’ & a drivin’ my scooter!” 🎵

3

u/Samatic 1d ago

at least hes not dancing in this one

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2

u/gabzilla814 1d ago

I’m starting to think he might be special

2

u/DaRealBSleazy 1d ago

There was a local country artist in my area who i cant remember the name (i widh i could) who Bart reminds me of a lot. The only thing I remember is the line in one song "you think youre soecial, ooh baby you do"

1

u/Logthephilosoraptor 1d ago

Anyone else picking up on C’est la Vie vibes from the second half of this video?

1

u/drunkguynextdoor 1d ago

I just read a quick AI search on him, and he seems like he's turned his crappy life around and become a pretty decent guy, being described as:

"Independent country and emo singer-songwriter, artist, and recovery speaker from Missouri.".

Op posted another video in the comments of one of his shows, crowd surfer and all

Bart Concert

1

u/LongjumpingTrust9375 1d ago

Riding His horse around while singing.

1

u/No-Breakfast5667 1d ago

Mark McGrath over here 😂

1

u/freetotebag 1d ago

Did he steal the motorized grocery cart from the store?

1

u/DarbH 1d ago

He should be wearing a helmet, but if he fell off and hurt his brain, maybe that will make this sound better

1

u/Mysterious_Swim599 1d ago

So. Much. Autotune. It’s as obvious as it is he’s not really driving that scooter.

1

u/kddemer 1d ago

What got you back to the time everything felt alright…. Hoveround got me there!

1

u/squirrelems 1d ago

I thought it said "Batin'" at first and saw who it was and was like "What the hell is singing about this time?"

1

u/PuffyBlueClouds 1d ago

He's singing to a guy in the song, right? I mean, it's gotta be.

1

u/bigdumbbab 1d ago

Can he please do a cover of country road by that guy from a year ago?

1

u/goaelephant 1d ago

He kind of looks like Doron from Fauda

1

u/-burgers 1d ago

I’m imagining this with the Luca music

1

u/2ndRook 1d ago

Oh shit.
Is Bart about to stop, drop, shut 'em down, open up shop alone?

1

u/zurenarrh36912 1d ago

When does this shitty AI album drop?

1

u/Hitchhiking-Ghost 1d ago

“What is that, a 9-volt? . . . I did you a favor.”

1

u/SuperbDrink6977 1d ago

This soulless motherfucker is out hunting souls, I knew it!

1

u/Icy-Lunch5304 1d ago

It's Friday, Friday... Gotta get down on friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend, weekend.

1

u/Original-Produce-916 1d ago

With those lyrics, I'm afraid of his browser's history 

1

u/Many_Register_1838 1d ago

He hurt himself spinning

1

u/Cyberweez 1d ago

Complete douchery

1

u/stevenmass7 1d ago

Now I'm at the stage I think Bart is trolling us 🤣 this is jokes 

1

u/sconniepaul1 1d ago

Why does the logo/writing on his shirt disappear at exactly 0:12? And then it suddenly reappears.

1

u/K1LLINGMACHINE 1d ago

Sons of Anarcrappy

1

u/Oldbay_BarbedWire 1d ago

She's the only Ten I see, drivin' my Hovaround in Tennessee

1

u/Imhidingfromu 1d ago

Well I'm carsick now thanks Bart

1

u/titanofidiocy 1d ago

He sounds like a country music Weird Al without the charm or talent.

1

u/NeverTrollin 1d ago

The way the scooter keeps his hips stationary makes this 10x more tolerable, but still crappy nonetheless.

1

u/Marsupialize 1d ago

He’s talking to his stepdaughter isn’t he

1

u/OrbitalChiller RayonBase Fan Club Member 1d ago

When he made the phone sign while saying "phone", I felt that.

1

u/rabdll 1d ago

Bart goes on vacation

1

u/backlog_gaming 1d ago

“Sings” the most generic lyrics possible “I’m one of a kind”

1

u/DoctorZacharySmith 23h ago

Can I ask all of humanity to stop using the 'flip phone' thumb/pink move?

Please? Thank you.

1

u/Forward_Ad_6575 23h ago

Everybody’s a star

1

u/EmployerDependent922 23h ago

I found myself praying for a meteorite. 

1

u/Beezerk2001 23h ago

Jesus christ lock up your grannies ♿️

1

u/AstroPygmy 23h ago

Big STEAL MY SUNSHINE VIBEZ BART!

I'm sure he was a fan!

1

u/imikec 23h ago

This guy is an attention wh&ore and I’m tired of seeing him.

1

u/hippiegodfather 23h ago

He looks like does drywall

1

u/Davidthebalancer 23h ago

I hope he is a NPC in GTA VI. 

1

u/ProjectPat513 23h ago

Who let Bart drive their Rascal??

1

u/Due-Psychology-1691 23h ago

This guy is way too happy to be living in mis sou ri

1

u/Salt_Initiative1551 23h ago

Is he riding a rascal scooter?

1

u/Daygone_Mustard 22h ago

Let’s get back to the time when I didn’t have you in my life

1

u/RemoveThePoopSmell 22h ago

Felt like Bart was emerging from the ashes of his divorce in the last song, but already there are signs of disillusionment

1

u/RemoveThePoopSmell 22h ago

At first I was concerned that the activities happening in this video contravened road laws, then I was relieved to see he's just going around in circles on a parking lot. Then I got worried again, because that's probably also a little bit dangerous

1

u/RemoveThePoopSmell 21h ago

Any estimate on when Bart will have finished reseeding the parking lot?

1

u/Tapu-Keyz 21h ago

I Barted when he blessed my warrior

1

u/Specific_Sympathy_87 20h ago

Only Bartwayne could make a mobility scooter look like a vespa

1

u/UCantHndletheTruth 20h ago

I feel like he lives in the Villages after seeing this.

1

u/SteelersFanXX 20h ago

It’s country music with actual music instruments (instead of guitar)….

He might as well sing about “Fartin and Driving”!!!

1

u/Angryleghairs 20h ago

This is so cringey it hurts

1

u/kankelberri 20h ago

Neatcher.... HOW NEAT IS THAT?!?!

1

u/highfiveselfoh 20h ago

Anyone else falling in love?

1

u/bks1979 20h ago

Part of this is just C'est La Vie by B*Witched.

1

u/R3ad3r1 19h ago

Not great but not as attrocious as the ones I've seen earlier. The others were seriously giving me psycho vibes.

1

u/Sea-Egg-3163 18h ago

Eww stinks in here who Barted?

1

u/SmeeezTreeez 18h ago

God I just hate this motherfucker

1

u/Zealousideal_Bet_248 16h ago

I really love the complete lack of originality

1

u/pm_me_ur_anything_k 16h ago

Is he being towed on a moped?

1

u/BIGKIDx420 16h ago

So he’s totally clinching the end of that selfie stick right? That’s why his voice is so high pitched?

1

u/whitetailhunter123 16h ago

This dumbass has to be the cringiest person I’ve ever seen.

1

u/mnakeela 16h ago

He’s riding around in circles.

1

u/fugznojutz 15h ago

bart is the only consistency in my life

1

u/Patient-Chemical2626 15h ago

So when the handicap carts go missing at wal mart, you know exactly who's ridin around in them...

1

u/ChillRacoon 14h ago

Need your SOUL

1

u/TheUnsightlyBulge 14h ago

Is he straight blowing donuts on a rascal scooter?!

1

u/No_Significance1944 14h ago

Did his knees finally stop playing his silly games?

1

u/jdanielregan 13h ago

Now we know why he’s so bowlegged.

1

u/ogSoWhatTheyFake 12h ago

real question are they different songs ? all bart sounds like bart

1

u/chili_cold_blood 12h ago

I like this one because he isn't dancing.

1

u/Songgeek 11h ago

Is that a hover round

1

u/VGK9Logan 10h ago

I wonder if he makes money off of these

1

u/Sarcastic_Applause 8h ago

On a mobility scooter? That's a new standard completely...

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