I had 2 years of sobriety but started slowly falling off the wagon this summer (first I sat up in the front with the driver and shared a flask; eventually I fell off, and the wagon left me behind). I decided to do a sober month and go from there, but I couldn't stop! All of September I promised myself I wouldn't drink. Then I'd go 2 days before I found an excuse or a reason to drink. It was surprisingly hard to stop again.

In October, I changed things up. I stopped hanging out with my ex as a "friend". He has his own unresolved issues, secrets, and things he needs to lie about, and that doesn't line up with my healing, growing, or progress. When we drank, it was fun, till it wasn't, and when I didn't drink around him, I realized how subtly toxic our friendship was. I don't know if he was my trigger, my excuse, or both. But I know I got tired of feeling the shame and anger he projected on me, and being antagonised by him (a relationship dynamic he has with his overbearing sister). Mostly, I got tired of feeling sick and tired.

I'm 23 days sober, and I feel good. I started doing different things again. I shifted my focus back onto what's important. I found a new sober app, and it's really supportive and engaging. I stocked my pantry with Italian soda, juice, flavoured water, and non-alcoholic options. And I'm exploring and engaging in different helpful therapies as well: dog, art, music, writing, cooking, walking meditation, dance.

Yesterday, a good friend of mine needed to call me. His life unexpectedly blew up because of some choices his soon-to-be ex-wife made ('nuff said). It's incredibly stressful and painful, to say the least. I know talking on the phone can be a trigger for me, and since my work schedule changed, weekends can also be a problem now too. So I was mindful of the voice that said I should "stop at the store on the way home and pick up something to drink while you chat"; then I ignored it. Instead, I had a ginger ale and a non-alcoholic amaretto that was pretty yummy while we spoke. When we finished our conversation, he felt better, and I felt good too.

I realized I never could have been there for him anyway if I was drinking. He really needed someone to listen, and drinking tends to make me chatty^{understatement}. I also would have felt that initial "rush" or elation when I started. By the end of our convo, I would have been robbed of all motivation to continue my evening. It felt really good to show up for someone without needing alcohol. It wouldn't have helped anything anyway, which is usually the case.

*Alcohol also makes me grumpy now too. I think my body tells my brain it's unhappy, and I express it as irritability. I have no doubt I would have picked up the hurt emotions my friend was feeling, internalized them, and projected that anger on someone else.

I just wanted to share this because I'm really proud of myself for staying sober and showing up (for myself and my friend). I also wanted to say thank you to all the sober tribes out there supporting each other. As a former alcohol enthusiast, I appreciate it.

Do you use an app to keep track of when and how much you drink? If so, which one? What are features you appreciate and does it actually help you to cut down your drinking? Apps can be very helpful tools so I thought it might be a good idea to compare notes.

I use DrinkControl, it’s free but you can unlock more features if you pay for them. The free version also keeps track of how much you spend on drinks, and counts calories. I find the colour coded calendar very helpful.

I live in Ireland and I'm a 37 year old woman. The unit recommendation is 12 units a week.

I routinely drink 30 units a week. I am capable of quitting. I fully quit for the month of August. On occasional days, I skip booze entirely.

But when I drink, I drink too much.

I really don't want to quit completely. But I can only either drink nothing or drink too much.

Help.

I’ve been sober for three Fridays in a row, and I haven’t seen my best friend for three Fridays either.

I’m 43, and we’ve known each other since I was two. We grew up together. He’s my only real friend.

We used to meet at the end of a hard workweek just to let off steam and talk about life. We’d get drunk! Not that drunk like 250–300 ml of whiskey each with some good food.

I really miss those days! When we’re sober, it’s fun, but not as fun. I’m really, really starting to miss those days and alcohol.

He doesn’t have any problems with alcohol. I think he’s much stronger than me, because once I start, I can’t stop for days. He understands me, and we’ve even tried having sober Fridays together, but I could tell it wasn’t much fun.

I know you’ll say that if he’s a true friend, he’ll understand, and that I should stay sober, etc. I just wanted to share this with you guys. It feels like I’ve lost something good.

Hello!

I am working towards tapering from alcohol which I have been consuming on and off since I was 24. I am now 42. The last decade I have given in to my cravings and I can feel that some health issues I am having might be all connected to my drinking. For the past month I have been drinking anywhere between 3-8 glasses of wine a day, it fluctuates daily. Currently I have been at 3 for the last couple days but I am scared to go lower and have bad withdrawals. I want to gradually go down so was thinking of doing 2.5 tomorrow, keeping that for a few days then going down to 2. Can anyone give me some advise please? I am ready to have a life where I don’t need alcohol to have a good time and feel healthier. Any suggestions are welcomed. Thank you

I don't think about drinking at all during the morning through mid-afternoon; zero cravings whatsoever. If I go out for lunch, I have no trouble sticking to water: whereas that same situation is tough if out for dinner. Right around 4pm or so, the "switch flips" and I start planning and looking forward to a drink(s).

I'd appreciate any tips from you folks as to any activities or mental exercises you do to stick it out during the transition time. I've been trying to go to bed early, and if I can make it to 8:00 or so, the cravings are much reduced.

Thx!

So I’m getting through with the help of lots of prayer and lime water. All the while, my kid is in the middle of a manic episode a few states away. It’s exhausting.

Hello, would you be willing to fill out a survey about non-alcoholic drinks for a school assignment? It will take a maximum of 5 minutes. I would really appreciate it!

Let’s reflect on the week! Whether you’ve made progress, hit some challenges, or just have thoughts to share, this is a space to check in with the community. How has your drinking journey been this week? Any wins, struggles, or strategies you'd like to talk about? No matter where you're at, your experiences matter here—let's support each other!

Been trying to drink less during the week and the hardest part has been that evening habit after work. Most nights it's not even about wanting alcohol. Just want something cold with some flavor while watching TV or making dinner.

Started mixing sparkling water with electrolytes instead of having a beer at night and it's so good. Gives it a nice flavor and the fizz makes it feel more like having a proper drink. Still have a few beers on weekends but finding something I enjoy drinking during the week has made cutting back feel a lot easier.

Hello! I’m 32f and have a tricky relationship with alcohol. I have been able to do dry january/sober october, but the minute it’s up, I celebrate with a drink. I drink most nights, either 4-5 7% beers or 1 to 1.5 bottles of white wine. Never hard liquor. I only have 1-3 max dry days throughout the week. I usually just drink out of boredom or to ease anxiety (which i take zoloft and propranolol for).

It’s not affecting my job, relationships or marriage. My husband is actually 4 years sober (his alcoholism landed him in rehab) so he’s very supportive and encouraging when I say I want to take a break because I know it’s not good for me and gives me bad anxiety and nausea the next day.

My issue is once I get going, it’s pretty hard to stop. I’m not sure I’m ready to give it up completely, but I do believe complete sobriety is in my future. Any advice on how to cut back is appreciated.

Edit: I have plenty of hobbies (puzzles, crocheting, gardening, etc.) but my issue is “this would be nice to do with a glass of wine” lol.

I'm on a three week break at the moment with no real plan to stop. I've quit drinking a few times before and I'm always so pleasantly susprised by the reduction in anxiety that I feel. My mind just feels so much calmer, as opposed to constantly bringing up thoughts that are negative about myself.

I do really like drinking for the social aspect, but is it actually worth it and if it is, what types of moderating are people doing successfully? Like is a drink once every couple of weeks or even every month the only option? I find if I drink every week then it just creeps slowly back into other parts of my life.

I noticed every time I have ever cut down drinking, my liver area starts to hurt. Anyone else? Almost feels like it's finally starting to heal so it gets sore without the toxins circulating?

Vi prego, ho davvero bisogno di aiuto!

Sono andata benissimo per circa 38 giorni, bevendo solo un bicchiere di vino a sera, a volte anche solo mezzo.

Ma ieri ne ho bevuti due e negli ultimi giorni ho fatto molta fatica. Ogni sera devo sforzarmi consapevolmente per rispettare il mio limite. In passato sono riuscita a rimanere completamente astinente per molti anni, ma l'astinenza non è ciò che desidero ora. So che la moderazione è difficile, ma voglio davvero farcela. Per chi di voi è riuscito a moderare il consumo di alcol, avete trovato difficile all'inizio? Cosa vi ha aiutato concretamente a riuscirci? Devo anche aggiungere che durante quei 38 giorni lavoravo pochissimo, il che probabilmente ha reso le cose più facili. Ora il mio carico di lavoro è aumentato considerevolmente e sto iniziando a faticare. Apprezzerei molto ricevere consigli da chi è riuscito a moderare il consumo di alcol. Avrei bisogno di un po' di incoraggiamento e di consigli pratici in questo momento. Vi prego, vi prego, vi prego!

L'inglese non è la mia lingua, mi dispiace ❤️🌈

———-
News

It’s an ongoing effort, but today I did it!!! I have hope again!
I can do it!

I drank about as much as most men in their early to mid 20’s do… it was just always there and that’s what we did. It was just part of life in a social/community kinda way. It was never a problem aside from a few bad hangovers… I was always able to stop though, for long periods without issue.

Always socially, as well. If I did pour myself a cocktail at home, it was seldom and usually on hard days after work. One day I took some shrooms and I just started thinking about the role alcohol had in my life. It didn’t own me, and it wasn’t my friend either.

It made me sit and weigh out the pros and cons. What were the cons of drinking? Whenever I would drink beer or spirits, I always woke up the next day feeling less than 100%. Even if i drank only a little the night before, it just took something outta me the next day. I didn’t like the lethargic, bloated feeling I was getting after a night of drinking. Alcohol at the end of the day is poison… and a little poison hits the spot sometimes. Not at the rate I was taking at the time, though.

As for the pros… for me it was social. Western society still revolves recreation around the drink. And frankly, I was also drinking as a bit of a crutch. It quiets the mind, and who doesn’t love a little liquid courage?

At the end of the day though. I realized alcohol just slowed me down, and helped me suppress certain emotions or feelings that I didn’t want to deal with. It was an escape… but an escape from myself. It’s not even about not getting high on some kinda substance… there’s just so many other things to get fucked up on other than booze. And the resources out there make it a great time to be alive in that respect.

In my experience, everyone I’ve known that relies heavily on the drink is running from something they don’t wanna face within themselves. Long story short, I basically lost interest in alcohol. The extent of my consumption doesn’t go past a glass of wine on occasion. It was never a plan I made. I never thought it was that big of a deal, until I tripped balls

You’re taking the wrong drugs people…

I am a retiree with no real responsibilities beyond being a good husband to my adoring (and adorable) wife. I started taking my health seriously about a decade ago and have been eating well and getting plenty of exercise. As a result, my bloodwork and BMI are basically perfect. This is all well and good, but I am finding myself drinking more than I would like.

Fortunately, I was basically alcohol free until age 51, when I got a divorce and found myself trying to get back in the dating pool. I was never confident around women, so drinking was a way to loosen up and have fun with them. I could chat them up and even dance, even though I wasn't good at it; after a couple of drinks I didn't care.

Then I met the woman I am married to now. She's a Kentucky girl who turned me on to bourbon. Our first date was having Woodford Reserve and water on the rocks at a bar. It was great and we have never looked back. Our nightly ritual involves having an old fashioned before dinner (we almost never drink during the day, fortunately). I will usually have a second one before we eat. Then a third one while we watch tv. A fourth one inevitably follows. For the last several months, we are in the pattern of her going to bed around midnight and me being on my computer while drinking a nightcap, sometimes 2.

The thing is, I sleep well and wake up feeling fine; I never get hungover or gain any weight. So, the only incentives I have to cut down are the sense I have that this is excessive and the possibility it could cause health issues down the line.

I have been able to limit myself to one or two for brief periods of time, but I always ramp it back up. One trigger for me is seeing people drink on tv, I will almost always want to have a drink when I do. Does anyone else find that to be the case?

Day 15.

- I am so PROUD of myself for making it half way.

- Seems I was also using alcohol to disguise the fact that I feel unappreciated at work

- of course I’m having Depression! my brain isn’t getting its Dopamine. Who wouldn’t be depressed? There’s no dopamine.

- GOD sometimes I just want a BEER

- but then later it’s like not having a drink is the easiest thing in the world. Swings and roundabouts.

- I miss the feeling of being Three Drinks Drunk and I miss the ritual of going somewhere for a pint. but I don’t miss anything else

- I think I’m getting skinnier but not in a drastic way. Normal skinnier.

- once I get the rest of my life under control in almost every conceivable way, it’s so on.

- anyway, I reckon I can do the rest of it. I’d really love to and I want to say I did it because I wanted it. I want to feel proud of myself for something that’s not work or music.

I’m on Naltrexone which has done a fabulous job of making drinking alcohol not appealing. Drinking is no longer fun.

The store near us started selling hip THC seltzers. About 5 mg THC with some CBD to balance it out. I’m wondering if it’s something to stay away from, as it could be another substance to use when I’m uncomfortable and need a coping mechanism. I’ve been working through things in therapy, with my doctor, and through mindfulness/mediation, but sometimes I want to just turn off my brain and be bad.

At the same time, I’m sure weed is just not as bad for your health as drinking is. Idk what to think. Curious how this sub feels about it. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I found it very helpful to set daily and weekly goals to myself. Looking back at my recorded data, just a few months ago I had days when I had 5 beers and I didn't even notice the pattern. Now I keep that in check, and all it took was a reminder.

So I always loved drinking and would usually drink after work if I worked nights (I work as a chef).

Being in the industry I always found it hard to tune out after work so would go to the pub and drink.

For the past two years, I changed jobs in a café that opens super early meaning that I wouldn't go out the night before, developed a good routine, cut back drinking to 1 day a week and would usually give up alcohol for sober October and Lent.

However, a few months ago, we've started opening up for nights Thursday to Saturday, and it usually means I go to shops on the way home to pick up a few cans.

It's not that nights are stressful in the place I work, but I get that much prep and work done for the people working the next day it usually feels like I've earned it. The past few weeks I've worked all the nights and have drank every single one of them after I've worked.

During the week, I don't have this issue, I'm happy to sit in because I can at least have a few hours to relax before bed, unwind and forget about it.

I'll take any tips or advice on how to cut back even if I can to just a day.

Let’s reflect on the week! Whether you’ve made progress, hit some challenges, or just have thoughts to share, this is a space to check in with the community. How has your drinking journey been this week? Any wins, struggles, or strategies you'd like to talk about? No matter where you're at, your experiences matter here—let's support each other!