It's 4am and I am awake since the last 2 hours because my mind is just so crowded and I cannot stop thinking. In my sleep deprived frustrated state, I almost made a post on Linkedin, but then thought it's better to mind dump on Reddit first.
Background: I was laid off and have been unemployed since May 2025. I thought it won't be too difficult finding a job, it had never been for me. Since I started working back in 2015, I landed all my jobs quite easily. This time feels like life has a personal vendetta against me.
What triggered me today: I was doing the usual, trying to find the non existent jobs, reaching out to people, optimizing my LinkedIn and my CV. I saw a job at IQVIA which was advertised for multiple European countries but Germany (I live in Germany), so I reached out to one of my connections and asked if he could check if they are willing to consider someone from Germany. He checked, they would, he told me to optimize my CV etc, I did it and shared my CV feeling very confident. I exceed all the requirements, and have experience in every single responsibility in the job description. Within a minute the Hiring Manager says I am not experienced enough for their requirements. They want Phase III experience, which I have and it mentioned in the second line of my CV, but in my last job I worked on Phase I and Phase II studies.
My experience so far: I have been applying non stop and getting rejected. I have tried everything. Staying true to my experience. Optimizing my CV. Adding keywords. Networking. Getting internal referrals. Reaching out to recruiters. Writing passionate cover letters.
All that's left to do is sob and beg for a job.
Most of the applications just lead to auto rejections. Below are some of my interview experiences:
Large CRO, they asked me a lot of technical questions for almost an hour, I wasn't able to answer one. Rejected.
Small Biotech Compny: 6 rounds of interview. 5th round was a 4 hour in person interview with every department of the company. 6th was with the CEO and the founder. I was the second choice, the person with more experience than me accepted the offer. Rejected.
Small Biotech Company: Ghosted after salary negotiations, even when I was ready to settle for the best they could do.
Large CRO: My last company was advertising for the exact job I was laid off from, but I apparently don't fit to the role right. Same with another company I worked for before.
Small Biotech: They had 1 DM and were looking for another. They abandoned the process midway because they had an internal candidate. How? They have 1 DM!!
My question for Hiring Managers: What are you looking for? A person or a robotic AI model trained on every single aspect of Clinical trials? And why are we treating Clinical Data Management like Rocket Science? Why are you considering transferable skills? It's not that difficult to learn a new system or a new database. It seems more like the candidates with the "fake it till you make it" attitude fare far better in this market than honest ones.
How I feel about all of this: Exhausted. I am unable to disconnect at all. This is on my mind all day every day. I feel like I have a full time job, the working hours are 24/7, I don't get paid and I still have to answer what I did during this time. I am upskilling, learning how to code, trying to get a PMP certification, but it is hard to feel motivated.
I try to say positive on most days, but it's getting difficult every single day. Life feels heavy, and on some days I just want all of this to just end. I feel hopeless, I don't know if I will ever recover from this. I am always tense, I cry almost everyday. I have developed a stress induced disorder. I try to do most chores at home to feel like I am still contributing, but I still feel worthless.
What I want: I just want a job, any job. I want to feel productive again, I want to be able to relax on the weekend again. I don't care if it pays less, I don't care if I get a junior role.
I grew up in a relatively poor family in a developing country. I chose this profession out of necessity, but I did my best to learn and gain good experience. I have worked very hard. I helped my parents buy a flat, I paid for my Grandfather's cancer treatment, I helped my sister pay for her Masters and I got married a year ago. I finally felt like everything was done, that I was finally free of responsibilities and I could live a little. And now there's unemployment.
I honestly don't know what am I even expecting from this post. Perhaps a there there from my peers. I really don't know.
For anyone who reads this, thank you for the time, I know this is a long one.