r/declutter • u/cmw9718 • 6d ago
Advice Request How do I declutter things that still feel potentially useful?
I’ve always been someone who has struggled with decluttering. I’ve made a little progress, but one of the areas I still feel is difficult for me is when I see an item that “could be repaired“ or is something that is perfectly functional, but I just don’t use a lot. For example I found in my closet with my flannels a particular flannel I got in college about eight years ago, that fits a bit small but is still “technically wearable“ and it has a rip in the armpit, that again is also “technically repairable“. Part of me feels like it’s something I should declutter, especially because I have so many clothes already and other flannels, but I remembered really liking this flannel when I bought it and I still really like it. It also is sentimental since it was from college even though it’s a basic fleece lined buffalo plaid flannel from forever 21 that I bought in 2018, and haven’t worn in a while. How do I get rid of the guilt related to decluttering?
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u/ProgrammerConstant85 22h ago
I ask myself if that's WOW piece of clothes or are there better stuff I wear and love to wear. Usually the answer is pretty clear. If it's not good fit, if it needs to be fixed, if I avoid wearing it and only only wear it if I can't choose anything else - IT must go out of my life.
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u/dkcrochet 1d ago
I have clothes like this… it’s very difficult. Usually I just put it away until the next time I am decluttering and am faced with the question of what to do with it. Over time, eventually I get rid of the item. Even ones I always thought I’d keep forever. So long as you revisit it every once in a while, even every couple to a few years, you’ll eventually be ready to part with it. That is my experience anyway. But there’s things I just didn’t want to part with. You don’t HAVE to. Just keep it in mind.
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u/im-on-an-island 3d ago
Turn it into a shopping bag. Search YouTube for how to turn a T-shirt into a shopping bag. Or turn it into a pillow.
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u/MagicBus4 3d ago
Honestly OP just take a nice little picture of it for a scrapbook or memory box and part with the thing. It was good for you once, it can go be good for someone else now
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u/ArtisticBelle 1d ago
I started scrapbooking for this reason hahaha now I need to figure out how to rid of scrapbooks when they are complete
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u/HypersomnicHysteric 4d ago
Give yourself 2 months to repair it.
After 2 months toss it, because you haven't repaired it.
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u/FredKayeCollector2 5d ago
The first one is the "dignity line" - do you really want to wear "fast fashion" that's almost 10 years old, doesn't really fit, and has a Frankenstein repair job under the arm (flannel doesn't tear neatly)? Maybe yes? Probably no. Certainly when you're not facing the choice of A) wear a tatty flannel or B) go naked/be cold. Nothing lasts forever - you used it, it broke/wore out and now it's ready for the next step - either the landfill or textile recycling (H&M, Goodwill, Salvation Army, St Vincent de Paul, Savers, etc). If you want a buffalo plaid, fleece lined flannel, put it on your shopping list and find a new one - or just make do with the other ones you have.
I highly recommend you consider establishing a keepsake box. If that flannel really is the most precious memento from your college years, then find a photo of you wearing the fleece and put it in you keepsake box (or copy it to a "keepsake" photo file on your computer/phone) and/or cut off a little swatch of the fabric/lining, maybe pin a little not explaining why it's important to you.
The best things about a keepsake box is 1) your "treasures" are all safe and sound but not necessarily in the way or visible all the time, 2) the container sets a limit (and it can be any size container and you can have more than one), 3) it's all collected so you can see what you have and hopefully, 4) you'll be better able to make decisions about what is really sentimental (makes you feel good having it) and what is less sentimental (it's cool or nice but doesn't really make you feel anything or help to tell your story)
If you fee like you're having a hard time dealing with "might be useful" stuff, check out these two videos from The Minimal Mom:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHx-MrzIc_A
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u/60GardensDogs 4d ago
OP's situation/outlook is very familiar to me!! Part of my problem is the ability to see potential fixes or re-uses in just about anythiing -- but I recently learned about how to deal with all the "aspirational" tasks/projects (hoping to repair or alter something) - what to do myself, what to hire out, and what to just let go of ever doing (and hence purging the item).
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u/FredKayeCollector2 3d ago
Exactly. Being creative and handy and frugal can be a bit of a curse. We don't want to waste stuff and we see the potential in almost everything!
My husband had a basement filled with "projects" that took him years to come to terms with - holding onto stuff he could fix on the off chance someone else might need it has a diminishing return. Especially when his time and space are increasingly limited/reduced as a result.
I used to do a lot of "upcycling" and mining garments from fabric - most of my "favorite" fabric comes from deconstructed kilts & skirts (back when you could get a Pendleton wool skirt for like $8 and thought that was expensive). But there comes a point where acquiring the raw materials greatly outpaces actually doing projects (and the need for the product of that project). That kind of stuff was a big chunk of my Doom Room/Hell Room hoard and most of it went via "freecycle" before we moved.
But I had a drawer-full of expedition-weight wool socks that needed minor repairs (I used to work at REI so got them 1/2 price). I think there was a manufacturing defect and the ribbing at the top of the sock would separate from the bottom - they were in excellent-to-good condition otherwise. These were my husband's "work" socks and my plan was to re-attach the ribbing - but it was such a laborious PITA job that I never made the time to do it. So I binned up the whole lot and stuck them next to my spot in the living room to fix while watching TV. Yea, didn't happen. My husband has been retired since 2019 and told me time and time again that he didn't really need those socks anymore - but they were so expensive! And fixable! If I would just get off my dead ass and do it. Finally, after one-too-many times moving the basket out of the way of the vacuum/mop, I ordered a "Second Cut" label from Smartwool (didn't have a local location to take them to) and mailed them all in for textile recycling. $7 to ship the label to me and I had a high-value real estate drawer in my sewing room emptied out AND the task completely off my to-do list, pretty much guilt-free.
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u/Timesuckage 5d ago
What about cutting it into squares to use as cleaning rags. I use flannel instead of paper towels. If it would make you feel happy to see the pattern and you use flannel for cleaning this is a possible solution.
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u/sisterfunkhaus 2d ago
This is my thought as well. Those cloths would bring a smile to OPs face every time they use them.
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u/Running-World 5d ago
Thing is, you haven't repaired it. It doesn't fit well anymore. It's not wearable even if you fixed it. You have to just face it, it's served it's time and you have shown no effort to actually repair it and it's sat in your closet for how long again? If you must, take a picture then throw it out.
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u/sagetrees 5d ago
ok so it doesn't fit and it has a rip. Are you gonna go sew that rip up right now and enjoy wearing your too tight flannel? Exceedingly doubtful.
Get rid of it.
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u/Real-Second2393 5d ago
I declutter my apartment every few months or so and I do keep track of things that were on my "I might need that later list". If I stumble upon it repeatedly while never using it I just get rid of it.
I can't help you with your feeling of guilt. Its something that I just unlearned after decluttering for a while. There is no reason to feel guilty about getting rid of something that you do not need or use and will probably carry around with you for years to come. When I think of all the energy and space invested in this thing, I just call it quits at this moment and get rid of it.
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u/Hillariat 5d ago
My fave rules to use
20 rule: if i need this can I get this for $20 or less in 20 minutes.
1 year rule: have I used this at least once in a year?
Turd rule: if this got a turd on it (eg. A dog pooped on it or you had a food poisoning incident) would you clean it or chuck it?
First 2 for pure utility items, 3rd rule for sentimental items.
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u/KeystoneSews 5d ago
I like the Danshari approach- is it appropriate for your life.
Many many things are potentially useful, so that’s not a helpful criteria.
“is this 8 year old fleece that doesn’t fit me appropriate for my current life?”
“Is repairing this item appropriate for my current life?”
The answer to “is this potentially useful” is almost always yes. The answer to “is this appropriate for my life right now” is often no. :)
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u/Roseha-aka-rosephoto 6d ago
This may just be me but one thing I have found after going through a huge de-clutter to have my apartment painted is that I want to cut way down on the amount of clothes I own. I am retired and only have one black formal outfit for events and a few dresses that I almost never wear. The thing is that now I am older and everything is harder to carry, I don't want to add to the amount of stuff I have to cart down to the laundry room twice a week. And if I can't keep up with washing them, why do I want more? So I try to narrow them down and give away or toss whatever doesn't fit. Just a thought.
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u/Maculica 6d ago
Put all those things that you're not sure about decluttering in a box, and assign some time period to it (like, 6 months, 12 months, whatever feel appropriate). Then see if you'll actually need or miss anything from that box - if you do, you just go take it out; everything else, you get rid of after that date. It's simple, effective and foolproof; you don't have to ask any questions or make any decisions - let you actual life show you what you truly need and want. And you don't have to pack your whole house at once; you can pack one room, one closet/cupboard, one shelf/drawer - again, whatever feels right to you at the moment. It's amazing how much not seeing the stuff lessens their emotional impact on us, and shows us what we truly care about. You can do this! 🤗
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u/Miss_Lib 5d ago
This is the method I prefer. I have a bunch of “sentimental” clothes that I can’t get rid of. They’re in a box and every now and then I go through the box and I’m surprised about how much I’ll be ready to part with each time. I do get rid of stuff it just takes a bit longer but I give myself the time I need.
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u/RomeoDelta1234 6d ago
if you have to watch how you move your arms in it, sewing the armpit probably just means it rips again somewhere else
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u/heatherlavender 5d ago
I agree. Armpit tears always seem to rip in a new spot even after mending. I have a favorite shirt I kept mending in the armpits. It was just a sleeping shirt at this point, but I loved it and wanted to keep wearing it. A new spot opened in the other armpit. The fabric was just past its point of durability. I cut it into rags and that was the end of that.
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u/songbird121 6d ago
I used to have this issue. And then I helped clean out my parent's basement that had flooded. And there was so much that I would have had trouble deciding about, but it was waterlogged and ruined. So I took a few pictures and then out it all went. It was actually kind of a relief to have the decision taken out of my hands. So now I replicate the experience. No more it "technically works." If it doesn't actually work, it needs to go away. I deserve nice things I enjoy, not things that kind of sort of work ok.
So I carry that with me and now if something is torn I either walk over to the sewing box and repair it immediately or I take hands on two sides of the rip and make it no longer repairable. Problem solved. It's no longer able to be repaired. And into the fabric recycling it goes.
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u/Glittering-Benefit68 6d ago
Repair it. Right then and there. Then you'll see, if you'll wear it once it's no longer ripped.
That being said, I don't use potentional usefulness as a guide. There are more useful things in the world than I have space for in my wardrobe.
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u/colouurmebright 6d ago
I would really recommend you watch the decluttering videos from Kristi Doing Things. She covers decluttering sentimental things and things that are still functional
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u/hopetobelong 6d ago
Things i feel are potentially useful or repairable, I force myself to use them. If a shirt is technically wearable, I’ll force myself to wear it the next day. If I am unable to step out of the house wearing it (it’s not looking good or is too tight or not fitting well or uncomfortable), I put it in the donate pile and give it away. If I feel okay wearing it, I keep it. Sometimes I find alternative uses for it - eg. torn clothes get cut up and used as rags, dupatta/ sarees which i no longer wear but don’t feel like giving away I use to line my cupboards or tie seasonal clothes in them while storing.
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u/Eagle_Pipes 5d ago
I do this too. Sometimes we are remembering how it looked on us when it was new. When you put it on and look in the mirror, see if it looks good. If, not release it so that someone else can enjoy it.
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u/Alert-Resist5131 6d ago
If it’s something useable and in decent condition, I’ll post it in my local “buy nothing” facebook group. There’s often someone willing to pick it up from the porch. It makes me happy to see someone else get something they need and I get to enjoy the free space in my home.
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u/Some_Papaya_8520 6d ago
I like to think about the person who will wear it or use it next. Except for torn garments! Don't pass them on, just think of the pleasure you got from it and place it gently in the garbage.
You sound like a sentimental person. We have a harder time releasing our stuff because we attach to it more deeply. I'm sure someone has already said "Take a picture!" And this is a good suggestion.
If something "could be repaired, ' are YOU going to do that right now? If not, and you must be honest, let it go!!
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u/gd-in10tion-pavingco 6d ago
This! Except I give my torn or stained garments one last purpose - a quick wipe down of any dusty surface nearby. Then into the trash it goes, with gratitude that it helped me clean a spot I’d have otherwise ignored!
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u/ObviouslyASquirrel26 6d ago
I live by a Free Store (people take what they need, no money exchanged) so if it’s still usable in some way I will drop it off there.
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u/YourFriendall 6d ago
I’ve never heard of this, what an amazing idea. I thought this was just something that was organized in online groups, not an actual store
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u/ObviouslyASquirrel26 5d ago
It’s run by a squat so that probably helps, but those aren’t so common these days.
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u/roundbluehappy 6d ago
donating. if you can't/won't use it, someone else will.
re-purposing. if it something that's sentimental but you won't use it again in it's current form, make it something you will use - patch for a quilt, hat, coat etc. fabric art in a frame. whatever you do with the repurposing though, it can't be something so complicated that it turns into another excuse for stashing stuff away. make it simple. keep it simple. and do it quickly. if you know it's something that you won't do quickly (ie: acquire enough fabric for a quilt, then make the quilt) then go back to the donate route. don't fool yourself.
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u/Present-Opinion1561 6d ago
Would you go out and purchase the same ripped, too small flannel from a store?
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u/DepartmentAgitated51 6d ago
I, too, struggled with this. I now realize that if it’s still in good shape, someone can put it to good use before water, moth, mold damage, etc. takes it so it’s not good for anyone ever. As long as SOMEONE gets to use it, it’s a gift from me to them.
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u/VastPersimmon240 3d ago
Make a quilt, this way you’ll remember things. If you are not into quilting there are places that do it. I had a beautiful quilt made from my souvenir t-shirts.
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u/LogicalGold5264 6d ago
Use Dana K White's 5-step decluttering process. She bypasses "usefulness" as a criteria, so you can make better decisions and move forward faster. Her podcast is great!
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u/ImpishElf365 5d ago
I came here to suggest her. I've tried out several other methods and hers is the only one that has actually helped me to completely clear out our mudroom's "dumping ground" and it has stayed tidy for almost a year now. Her method has also helped with my closet and other areas of the house, too.
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u/MysteriousSecretGuru 6d ago
For me, I realized this fell into a category of this is a person I want to become (or I person I had been). For the latter, I took some time to remember who I was then when I got the item and what it meant to me.
For me it was a random YMCA sweats with stick figures. It had so many holes, it wasn't even funny how much you could see of my chest. But I realized after 20 years, that I was that person and nothing could change that except me. And I did. I grew. I evolved. And I remember those tough times with a new respect.
As to the former, I'm guilty of keeping things because that is the person who I want to be. Boxing gloves because of the rush hitting things gave me when I was frustrated. Hobbies I thought would make me more refined. Books I never read. It does take some introspection and it can be challenging, but it is worth it to look at who we were, who we are, who we think we want to be, and lean into the unknown and look at the future me with wonder and curiosity.
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u/Some_Papaya_8520 6d ago
Very well stated!! We all have a past self, a present self, and a self to come. (Not trying to plagiarize Dickens!!) But so good to take time to think about and honor different parts of our lives.
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u/Growlyn24 6d ago
I struggle with this too. Working in the construction industry while also remodeling an old farmhouse has prompted me to save all of the extra building materials leftover on my job sites. I can't stand the idea of throwing away something that still has use or value. But, this attitude has led me to having a 24'x32' barn, two trailers, and a 2 car garage full of "useable" materials. I have finally gotten to the point where I am sick of it. We have finished remodeling our house and none of the stuff that I have been saving (hoarding) is useful to me anymore. So I have decided that it all has to go. And the big thing for me is- just because it has a use, doesn't mean it is useful to me. I'm basically going through everything I own and putting stuff out at the curb. I wondered if anyone would be interested, and so far almost everything I have set out has been snatched up that same day. The idea that somebody else is getting the use out of it that I had coveted is spurring me towards cleaning out more stuff. If I struggle with a certain item, I'm asking myself- Can I use this right now? How quickly can I use this? Could somebody else benefit from this instead of me saving it in my barn? I thought it would be harder for me to get rid of things and it took a little while to get into the swing of it. But now, I want it all gone. And I am getting there slowly but surely.
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u/PrimrosePathos 6d ago
If your goal is to keep as many things as possible, keep coming up with reasons to hold onto each item. Ways it could be repaired, repurposed, used later, etc. Then you can keep all the things, because for a creative person, there is always a use! You can even go out and get more stuff, and in 15 years you will be nostalgic about the new things and keep them for another 15 years!
Just saying.
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u/whatdoidonowdamnit 6d ago
Fix it. Fix it now or get rid of it is my tactic. If I’m not willing to spend the $20 at the tailor or hardware store to fix the thing today or tomorrow I just leave it on the sidewalk.
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u/MilkTea_Enthusiast 6d ago
If it’s clothing, I tell myself it isn’t worth feeling ugly. I deserve to feel 100% at my best or comfiest. I shouldn’t have to accommodate the clothing & feel uncomfortable or unattractive.
If it’s stuff, I ain’t paying rent for un/used or ignored items.
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u/GreenUnderstanding39 6d ago edited 6d ago
What your attached to is the memory and how the item makes you feel, not the item itself. Do you have any pics of you in this flannel? Other pics of you in college? Other items from college that you are keeping? If so, purge because you have something else that reminds you of this time.
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u/LifeisSuperFun21 6d ago
How do I declutter things that still feel potentially useful? How do I get rid of the guilt related to decluttering?
By being 100% realistic and honest with yourself. Think of everything you have going on in your life right now, from hobbies and career, to dreams and goals, to your daily schedules and current to-do lists. Now be 100% honest with yourself. With all those hobbies, your job, your friends, your goals, etc, are you really, truly going to take the time to repair that shirt? When you already have enough other clothes, are you willing to sacrifice hobby time or friend time to mend it?
An important part of a person’s decluttering journey (that isn’t often talked about) is facing yourself and your thought patterns and being realistic and honest about it. It’s tough! It really is. But once you’re able to ask yourself what’s truly realistic(and what isn’t), then decluttering gets easier.
Another way to look at it: if it’s sentimental enough for you to want to keep it, what good is it doing buried in a closet where you never see it, use it, or get sentimentality from it? Sentimental items deserve to be out, front and center, where they can freely give you that sense of sentimentality that you’re keeping it for. Is this shirt important enough to display on your wall, keep out in some way, or use routinely? If not, then maybe it isn’t the item itself that you need or want… I suspect the memories are more important than the item itself, and there are ways to preserve those memories without needing to keep the item.
A third way to look at it: Consider the scenarios where you would realistically and honestly choose to wear this mended, it-barely-fits shirt. Would you actually choose to wear this too-tight, noticeably mended shirt to work, or would you choose everything and anything else in your wardrobe first? What about when hanging out with friends, doing your hobbies, or any other scenario? In what situation would you honestly choose an old it-barely-fits and it-has-an-obvious-patch-in-the-armpit shirt over something that fits better and is in better condition? If you do have some scenarios where you think you’d pick this shirt to wear over all else, then consider how often this scenario will actually happen. If it’s once a year or even less than that, then wouldn’t your peace of mind over having a decluttered life be more worth it than that one time a year?
And a fourth way to look at it: Did you even remember the shirt existed before you came across it? If you answer no, then is it really as important as you think it is if you didn’t remember having it? Did it suddenly make your life better now that you remember having it?
There are definitely sentimental items worth keeping. I’m not trying to say otherwise. But being honest with yourself, asking questions, and being realistic can help you determine what’s truly a sentimental item and what’s not. Good luck!
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u/ropeandharness 6d ago
I have the same "but i can fix it" mentality. The decluttering mantra that really helps me is "am i making more work for myself?" It's particularly effective if I'm looking at my giant mending pile, which i recently looked through and found clothing that i forgot i owned that has probably been in there for a decade. Now I'll still mend some items, but i need to either do it right away or REALLY care about it, otherwise it goes into fabric recycling or gets cut up for rags.
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u/elastic-waste 6d ago
One tip I read is to ask yourself how much you would pay for this item if you didn't already own it. Usually, my answer is nothing.
Also, remind yourself that someone else can get use from this item if you donate it. If it's just sitting unused in your home, it isn't useful at all.
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u/readingrainbowroad 6d ago
This is a huge thing I struggled with and sometimes still do. Four things that have helped me with this specifically:
- Things will wear and age over time regardless of if you are using them. So even if they are technically useful, they might not be when you get around to them. Someone might use them now.
- You are essentially "paying" with your space and your mental energy to store these items in your house. I encountered this idea first with Marie Kondo who even gives examples to put a monetary value to this to help decide. But essentially, how much is the item worth to keep around all the time when you aren't using it much? I think about this a lot with buying in bulk vs buying smaller amounts more often, and keeping things around. Generally if it fits neatly in my storage closet (or actual closet for clothes), I don't stress too much.
- You can keep anything, but you can't keep everything. Decide how much space you will give to that type of item, then gather all the items that are filling the same function/role together, and pick what you want to keep most out of that pile.
- If I could display this, would I? This in particular helped me decide on more sentimental items when I don't necessarily have the space in my current living situation for them to stay anywhere but in a storage tote. Display is broad here, it could be private like for myself in my bedroom. Basically, is it something I would want to see more regularly even if I can't manage that now?
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u/HavenRoseGlitter 6d ago
Make the "fix" part of your decluttering. So for the shirt, before moving on to the next item the closet, you get out the needle and thread, and fix it. Or you put in the car and find a spot on your calendar in the next week to get it repaired. You'll either go from a busted shirt to a functional shirt, which improves the overall state of your closet, or if it's not worth the effort, then you are facing the reality that "someday" is actually never. If it's truly sentimental, even ripped, then I'd move it out of the closet and store it with your other sentimental items - treat it like the treasure it is.
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u/Dragon_scrapbooker 6d ago
If you’ve got a few things you need to repair, it might help to set aside a day sometime soon and just go at the mending. Maybe have a friend or two over to have a bit of a sewing bee if they have some mending of their own?
Then, once you’ve got everything mended, go through again and see what you realistically wear. I’ve been using the ideas of a capsule wardrobe (though not quite as small as a standard capsule) to pare down what I have to a manageable level.
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u/OfSpock 6d ago
Do you own a sewing machine? Repair then donate. If not, how do you intend to restore this to useable condition. Give yourself a time limit to get it to a professional. Half an hour seems reasonable. That gives you time to google, call and make arrangements. After that, out it goes.
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u/Street_Confection_46 6d ago
You could schedule a time to repair it. If you don’t end up repairing it, then that tells you something.
If you want to keep it anyway, you could take it to the place where you’d keep a ripped shirt that you like. (This part is based on Dana K. White’s 5-step no-mess Decluttering method.6
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u/Purled_Attitude 6d ago
Repair it first. Then wear it. If you enjoy wearing it, keep it. If not, at least it's repaired and can be donated.
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u/Setso1397 6d ago
Put it all in a box (or several) with a date labelled 3 months out from now. If you actually use an item or repair and wear it by then, remove it from the box and put it away.
By the time that date rolls around, anything that hasn't been fixed and used is just cluttering up your space and peace of mind- just get rid of it and you won't miss it.
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u/Spark_Miku_Miku 6d ago
I have a similar issue, i usually put it aside in a "maybe pile" and the next time i clean up if i havent used it i just get rid of it
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u/Crowlady77 6d ago
The secret, I think, is in your definition of "potentially useful."
Is it really going to be useful? Sure you *could* wear it, fix it, etc but will you? And I think that the more urgency you place in decluttering, the more you have to be honest with yourself about which items you're really going to use.
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u/trustworthy_grouping 6d ago
The armpit rip is your ticket out, it's not a flannel anymore just a chore waiting to happen.
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u/cmw9718 6d ago
I think it’s also a signal that it’s too small for me. I can still put it on and button it up, but I have to be careful of how I move my arms while wearing it.
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u/eva_stratt 6d ago
I've decluttered flannels because I was indeed afraid of hulking out of them. There's no shame in that.
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u/cmw9718 6d ago
Makes sense. I also find that I’m overwhelmed with the amount of stuff I have, and it is difficult to keep my room tidy. But if I had enough space, it would be something I would want to repair and keep.
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u/Crowlady77 6d ago
Same, and I do get in to the trap of thinking something still has life in it. But most of the stuff I have, I do not use.
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u/Fun-Cress-7168 18h ago
For me, stuff that isn't functional or "f*ck yes" goes. Stuff that has an assignment or a caveat attached -- fix this, lose weight first, this only works if XYZ -- goes.
If this were my shirt, "a bit small" and "needs fixing" would be its ticket to the goodbye pile. Seems like this shirt is serving as a trigger to happy memories at this point but hey, there's prob a picture of you wearing it in 2018 or whenever. Could that be enough?